I've been sitting here for five minutes now, trying to just start this damn entry, and really don't know where I should begin. Well.. with how I feel I suppose. I'm here to write about a friend of mine today. Someone I have become so close to, and now consider one of my dearest and best friends, but, have never met. In fact, I'm 2 times zones and a country border away from him. Phil. *smirks* Have you ever felt that instant connection with someone? Felt like your minds were one, and you knew what the other felt or was thinking before they even said it? Thats how I feel, oddly enough. I feel closer to him, save a precious one or two, then I've ever felt to anyone. And it all started with a slinky. *chuckles* Yes.. a slinky. The story behind that is, in the white wolf unmod chats, another friend of mine dubbed me that since we were goofing around in the entryway and she "gave" me a slinky.. 3 days later I was still posting myself as idlely playing with it and so I was dubbed. When I met Phil, he would goof around with me and 'play' with the slinky with me. That goofing around turned into more serious conversation and now we talk everyday. I find myself thinking about him when I'm not at home, wondering how his day is going, and I truly miss his company. By merely talking to him, I feel happy in a way I haven't in a very long time. Hes funny and smart and understands me in a way thats almost scarey, but is really comforting. Hes going through the same thing I am with sean with his girlfriend, and is so like me in so many ways. I feel like I can tell him anything. Things I've never even told sean, nor would dream of telling him. *Sighs and chuckles* I sound so sappy saying this, but i feel like I've found this kindred spirit in him. I'm a very empathic person. I read emotions very well and can channel with a mere touch, and usually this only works in the physical presense of another, but.. with him its different. I have to admit, I'm not too sure how deeply my feelings for him run, and thats frightening in a way. I wish I could just go see him, and figure it all out, but.. I can't due to distance. That, and I don't want to cause problems for him, since we're both involved at the present time, though.. I really don't know how much longer thats going to last on my end. Sean knows we're stuggling financially, yet he doesn't look for work. And now.. isn't all that physically interested in me it seems. He doesn't sleep with me, in either sense of the word, and I'm having a harder time everyday believeing him when he says 'I love you'. I'm not too sure what the purpose of this entry is.. but these are things I felt I needed to say whether or not anyone on reads them or cares.. I think I just had to examine my thoughts and how I felt. I don't know, but I do know that I care deeply for Phil, and hes one of the best friends I've ever known. So.. I'll leave it there. Content that I've found a kindred out there amoung so many callous and uncareing people. Content that I've found a connection. Everything has a purpose, and happens for a reason. I truly believe that. So right now.. I won't question the universe and just be... happy..