Okay. So I'm finding myself needing to say some stuff that I have nowhere else to say it, and then I remember I have this journal now, so here we go. Remember R, from earlier entries? Well, I was talking to him the other day. His ex, the one he dated after me, and him just got into a fight because "he's changed since college because he drinks and has sex." And he said this like I knew it already. Which I guess I kind of did.. I knew he drank, okay. I didn't know about the sex part, though. I never slept with him. I'm a virgin. Yeah, I said it. The "v" word. I am. I'm not really ashamed of it. I'm waiting for the right person. But I respect anyone who's not-- I mean, I'm not a prude or anything like that. So I heard rumors a few months ago that he slept with this ex he fought with, which I guess I now know is true. But now he's having sex with all these girls at college? Where did this come from? I never saw him turning into that kind of guy, but I guess I should have. He used to talk about how he was the guy that didn't want to get into a girl's pants all the time, and just wanted something real. I guess that was a lie. So then I started thinking. Is that the only reason he's being friendly with me again? So that when we hang out next time, I feel close to him? So he can manuever his way back in, and make it seem not-so-random when he tries to kiss me, fool around with me, do...whatever...with me? Is he planning it all out? It's especially worrying me because whenever we talk online now, he's all "I miss you, I love you" blah blah-ish. And now he wants to come spend the night at my dorm in 2 weekends. What do I say to that? How do I tell me parents that? That my ex boyfirned (who they never knew I even dated!, btu that they know liked me [and mom still thinks he does]) is going to come up and sleep in my room with no adults or anything for a weekend, just him and me? I feel 5 years old based on that last little part. But I'm afraid. Maybe not even of what he'll do. But of how I'll react to it. How I'll respond. Or worse, what I'll do before he can. Oh no. Here we go again. If you read all that, or even part of it, leave a comment please...I really need it!!!