ok havent been on in a while and i sincerely apologize. it's summer and im not normally inside...the funny part is, is that i dont have a remotely close tan or even sunburn! ive been watching my soccer team's games and they suck horribly! lets see, i went to a Red Wings game with Emily a while go and we saw Ryan Hare. What a freakin' hottie. He's so nice ever since he stopped dating that Colleen chick. He was in this cute little white chef outfit. Umm, ive been helping my dad in the garage alot lately. We really need to get that done. I finally went back to work,i work with all guys except sometimes Amanda. They are so rude, and one of those boys that u just wanna punch in the face everytime u see them. I went to Edge Fest and saw my brother. He was a little drunk but i met his friends, and they didnt believe that i was his sister until he pulled out a picture of us. they were hotties, not gunna lie. thats pretty much it! I havent gone to grad parties cause they're all on the weekends adn i work. im pretty pumped for Meg's party on Friday and Jacki comes home!!!! Man, I really miss her! Anywho I have physical therapy tomorrow then this workshop at church to do if i wanna so VBS.

good question jenna, why havent i been updating sorry i really forgot all about this. The past two weeks have been finals so i've been busy. I just had my last exam today!!! I am so pysched for the summer!!!! There are so many things that I want to do! I dont want to be one of those kids that wastes their summer by watching tv all day and sleeping til 1. I don't know what it is but I feel like I am starting over. A whole year has passed and I think that it was a good year, good experiences and I have learned from my mistakes. I am so busy this week though. Let me tell u my schedule: In an hour Jenna's coming to pick me up. And we're chilling. Wednesday: Soccer game, then hanging out with Matt Magar after the game. He wants to "catch up". Thursday: Physical therapy then Olive Garden with my mom and later Emily. Back to her house to hang in her hott tub. Friday: I guess I'm going bowling with Roger, John Adams and Nick and Brad. That might fall through though I am not sure. saturday: Working til 7 then going to Jenna's house to hopefully meet Matt Fig. Sunday: Working. it doesnt seem a lot but my Monday I'm going to be exhausted!!! Question for Meg?: Are you upset about the fact that me and Emily are close friends?

YEAH THIS FINALLY WORKS!!! So anyways I've been sad about the whole Rob thing since the last entry but I have been a lot better. So now I have to ride the bus everyday because Steph's last day of school was Friday. I have to get up at 6 we.. more like 6:20 'cause the bus comes at 6:30. Today is rather boring. No one pays attention in class because schools basically over. So I spend my time writing notes to people or to myself, sad huh? So this weekend I am working a Dance Company thingy and I get $10 an hour. Not too bad if I do say so myself. I plan on going to Meg's Friday, still gotta talk to my mom about though. I'm in study hall so I think I am going to study for my AP European test which is next period. Toodles!

Alright I'm just going to say what no one is saying. We, meaning Allison Kesselring, Abby Stallworth, Rachel Somerville, Jenna Iannucci and Meghan Bauer are no long Whachachas. That ship passed a long time ago, we grew out of it. We all have changed, that doesn't mean that we still don't care for one another. Everytime I hear "Into the West" I think of all of us. I always will. But we have gone our seperate ways. I hate how we are always nagging on one another. Abby and Rachel are better friends with one another the same way Allison, Jenna and Meghan are. We all see it but no one is coming straight forward. I normally like to stay out of this but I gotta say something. I think that we all just gotta chill and except the fact that we are old friends. The kind of friends that meet up with one another at weird places. Where you catch up with one another. Don't get me wrong, I still love you guys. Abby it meant so much that you went to my Grandmother's wake. It's hard for us to get together so maybe we should just take a rest. If we happen to get together at some point awesome, if not we don't and we move on. Am I the only one who feels this way?

thursday: -preview -rob and chris were there it was a little awkward -i left my phone and crutches at school -went to Famous Daves afterwards -got home and slept friday: -opening night -went ok -went out to Applebees -yummy food -then went to brads house and spent the night -was the only girl there -hung out with Bill, I LOVE HIM!! -we vented about how stupid boys are saturday: -bill drove me home -couldnt sleep when i got home -worked on my english -then got ready and went to the show -i thought i was coming early but i forgot about how the Boosters were preparing dinner so I was actually late -the pre-show was horrid...i blew up and i am probably now known as the bitch -mannion was crying about god knows what -we had strike and a father bitched about how girls were lifting stuff and how it was a boy's job and they shouldnt be doing that -i kept my cool -chrissy picked me and mannion up, we dropped her off at home -i went to dan weed's house -it was horrible they were all drunk and this kid Chase was all over me and i went into a small room and locked myself in there the rest of the night, i called rob and asked what to do and he seemed like he really didnt care -i felt like he doesnt care about me anymore, i mean if we were still going out he woulda been there in 5 minutes to get me out of that situation -shows how much you really know a person -ended up spending the night cause my sisters were too drunk too drive -then had church -got ready for our family picture -got home and here i am now sorry i havent been on, ive been busy

Hey, I'm here in Intro to Computers. Man I am so stuffed up!!! And it sucks terribly. I have to stay afterwards for rehearsal again and then tomorrow is preview. I am going to be so glad that this is finally over with. The only bad side to today is that Boss said he needs to talk to me. I dont know what it's about and I'm very nervous. I have spanish, english and then sacred scripture. In spanish I will get yelled at and then during english we are listening to Eagles songs. And I will sleep during Sacred Scripture. I really want school to end. And I cant wait til FIELD DAY!!!! which is next thursday...... overall im in a good mood!!! *smil*

Alright well yesterday was boring. I was proud of myself. I did not cry or talk to Rob at all. Also Grey's Anatomy was freaking amazing!!! Today was also boring, I'm really stuffed up and I am starting to get sick of the One Acts. They are so stupid!!!!! Also Emily and Meg really pissed me off in the booth. I hate boys. I really want to talk to Rob but I'm gunna wait until he calls me....well at least try. I still have to ask him what day he's coming for the One Acts. Anyways, I just finished my spanish so I think that I am going to take a shower and head to bed early. Nighty, night!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! alright well im doing alot better. it was good to get out of the house on Friday with jenna. mission impossible III was pretty good. Saturday I had tech, it was so long and tidious. later that afternoon, rob called me to let me know he was coming around 7:30 to take me to emily's house. he came at 7:47 and dropped off food from the bakery for my parents. I gave him back his OLD NAVY hoodie and a gave him a mother's day card for his mom. the car ride was really funny, he told me about jeff's house the other night and we were singing along to Blink 182. He kept missing Emily's street and wouldnt let me tell him where it was casue he said he remembered. Not he didnt. We finally got there. The party was fun, i was kinda out of it. Rob was nice and everything, he kicked Brad for hurting my knee. He whispered to me while we were on the couch, "ill always still care about you, remember that." that was very reassuring and then we went in the hot tub, my knee felt funny so i got out and hung out with meg. shortly afterwards me and rob went home. he opened the door for me, i asked him if he wanted to come in and talk but he said that he had to be heading home. I teared up a little bit and i basically said that i still love you and dont understand how he can be so ok with this. He said it was because he was the one who made this decision, not me. I asked him if he thought we would ever go back out, he started to shake his head no and said i just dont know. I breathed and asked if i could give him a hug good bye. he accepted. I looked at him and backed away saying "i still think of you as...never mind" he shook his head as if he understand and said that he would call me tomorrow. i didnt go to mass today because my throat was really bugging me, mom understood and asked if i wanted any chocolate. I declined. I just finished writing my community service paper. I think that once I get through this week I will be better. I havent cried today, i only teared up yesterday. it'll get better. *But you cant's jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table No one can find the rewind button now Sing it if you understand. and breathe, just breathe woah breathe, just breathe, Oh breathe, just breathe, Oh breathe, just breahte*

Last night I was talking to Rob. Everything was normal we were laughing, he was yelling at his computer. Then he said something like "everything's changed" I asked him what, everything, you me home shooting work. And he proceeding in telling me that he feels so overwhelmed adn its not fair to me at all. He said he was being a real jerk lately. And I asked him what he wanted to do. He said that maybe we should take a break. He told me that things between us are different since last year, most of our relationship has occured with him being at school. See I think of him going off to school has strengthened us, but I guess not. So I was very upset and I asked him one thing, if he still loved me. He said he couldnt say that he didnt love me. I asked him if he can say I love you to me. And he said he still loves me. I am so confused, I mean he's been home 6 days and I saw him twice. I just dont understand why he's giving up already, I dont understand what went wrong. So I asked him to do me one thing, come over today and look me in the eye and tell me it's over. I want to see if it's in his eyes. He said that we will still be friends and I am almost 80% sure that we will be, cause I mean he is my best friend. I tell him everything. Right now I am feeling numb, I don't know if it's over or not, I will find out tonight. My stomach has been in knots since 11 last night. If it's over I will get over the fact, but I think I'll still be in love with him.... UPDATE-------------------------------------- I couldnt take not knowing, so when I had study hall I called Rob. We talked, first it was me crying, but then something clicked, I wasnt losing him. He will still be there he just needs his space right now. I began to understand and then we were making jokes as usual. He says that he loves me. He's in love with me but he's in a position in his life where he needs to figure this out on his own. He is still coming over tonight and we are going to talk. Hopefully I will make him watch Chicken Little. Next month we are going to sit down and talk again and see where we are at that point. I am going to Emily's party on Saturday, I have to ask Rob for a ride home and possibly to the party. I think that everything will be ok. He said that he would love to hang out in groups first and then one on one. I feel so relieved. Last night it felt like I was losing him forever and I'm not. Honestly, this has been coming, sooner than I thought but it was. I mean how long would we have actually stayed together? I bet all you reading would have said we woulda broken up by now. I dont care. He is still my best friend. I will always love him, but now I have my limits. So Jenna and Meghan....I think I win the bet!

I did not want to wake up this morning. I didnt do much last night, I talked to Jenna, god I missed her!!!! Im in Intro to Computers right now and we are supposed to have a fire drill. I really dont care except they are shutting down the elevators!!! I have to use the stairs and most of my classes are on the 3rd floor. Thats gunna be exciting. Well the bell's gunna ring so I'm out!

alright well here's the story with Danielle- I walked into homeroom, passed Danille and said "thanks for the invitation." D-"What?" A-"Thanks for the invitation!" -then i walked away to go across the hall to the office. I hear her stomping after me. D-"What are you talking about?" A-"The fact that you didnt invite me to Haley's party!" D-"Allie that was Cullen's job, not mine." A-"NO, Cullen talked to you about why I wasnt invited and you told him that i wasnt because you said me and Haley were fighting, which you know is a lie!" D- *speechless* "Shove it Allie!" I sit down and laugh. I tell J, Alex and Tim the whole story and they are on my side. So apparently during first period Daniella was crying and she went home, "sick". So last night Rob came over and we watched "The Notebook". Bad move on my part. I forgot that his grandmother died from aultimerz. When it came to that scene in the end he was crying. I felt so bad. We ended up finishing the movie. We talked afterwards about his plans for summer and mine. I am so happy thats he's home. Now Jenna needs to get her ass home as well!

Alright, so yesterday I woke up and I was eating some yummy bacon adn scrambled eggs and the phone rang. So i answered it and it was Mrs. Lewis. She invited me over for dinner and to come at 6, but dont tell Rob cause it was a secret. So I did some homework and then my cell phone kept saying "INSERT SIM" and it wouldnt work. So i fumbled around with my phone dusting off my phone card and putting it back in. So after all those efforts my dad and I went to Cingular. It took forever!!! So by the time I got back I had to shower shave, shit, change adn all that good stuff. So I'm hurrying to get ready and my mom comes in, oh didnt i tell you? rob's not coming in til late so you dont have to be there til 7:30. So i st around waiting, got online and forgot to write this entry..oops. So I get there and I sat down talking to Mrs adn Mr Lewis. They said that he would be coming at 8 and right when there clock hit 8 he came in the driveway. So I'm there sitting in their living room, and Mr and Mrs Lewis went to talk to Rob on the front porch. I hear Rob say, "So where's my surprise?" He walks in and OMG!!! His hair was so long! and he was scruffy, now im not saying that i dont like scruff but man, he was looking hott! So I was over there til 11, we ate and just talked, I realized not only how much I missed Rob but his whole family. I mean BOTh his parents came to my grandmother's wake. His dad IMs me everytime he gets on line. I dont know....I felt so complete last night being at their dinner table. But just so Jenna and Meghan knows....you owe me $$$...lol i dont owe you shit! But he drove me home and my dad talked with us, we *cough* made up for some old times. But let me remind you that there was no hanky panky going on there. So anywho I went to church and me and Roger are conspiring a plan to get Danielle back tomorrow...*evil laugh* MUHAHAHAH!

Okay so I got online and this kid, Gino IMed me. i dont know if you guys remember him but he only IMs me when he needs a girl or something. so here's the convo-- Raider37yo: what sup Goalie14: um hi Raider37yo: what up Goalie14: nothing Raider37yo: what u been up too Goalie14: nothing, school Raider37yo: u got a myspace Goalie14: uh yeah Raider37yo: whats the link Goalie14: myspace.com/a_l_l_i_s_o_n_j_e_a_n_ Raider37yo: so what skool u go to Goalie14: AQ Raider37yo: kool Raider37yo: looking hot in your picss Goalie14: u do know i got a boyfriend right? Raider37yo: ya Goalie14: k Goalie14: making sure, cause you only seem to IM when you need a girl, and i am not that Raider37yo is away at 5:47:24 PM. so blah blah blah, i had my AP European test, failed. But w/e cant change it now. It isnt in my report card or GPA so im good. Meghan probably got a 5, i probably got a 1 possibly a 2. And i really agree with Meg. I do think it's a little unfair that you guys know all about our lives and we don't know about yours. I mean, get on once a week and recap each day like Jenna does when she's not on. I'm not perfect either but i am getting a lot better i think. So just try to get on more ok?

I was so pissed off earlier. So I officially hate Danielle Reff. On Monday I was in Study Hall with Danielle and she was handing out invitations to a surpirse b-day party for Haley. She was talking to someone about it then looked at me, said "this is for her friends only". Then she walked away. Apparently Kelsey gave Mrs. Reff a list of Haley's friends name and I was on it. SO she made then and gave them to Danielle to hand them out during school. I never received one. Kelsey told me today that she was talking to Cullen (Haley's bf) about why i wasnt invited. He said that he talked to Danielle and she told him that me and Haley have been fighting. Me and Haley fighting? She freaking kissed me on the cheek and hugged me today!!! Oh yeah we're really fighting!!! But besides that I'm fine. Im in Intro to Computers and the bell's going to ring any minute. So I'll talk to you later.

I'm here in Study Hall. Nothing really went on this weekend except I had alot of homework to do, so that's what I did all Sunday. Oh, I have a waterbed finally!!! You guys know me, I move constantly in my sleep but last night I woke up in the same position that I fell asleep in. I also have a tv in my room. See, my sister, Jacki, is going to NYU in a few weeks so she bought a TV. But her room is in the basement so instead of bringing it all the way downstairs they just put it in my room. It doesnt have channels cause it doesnt have an atenna but it has a DVD and VHS player. Today I woke up and went to physical therapy. It basically sucked balls because I cant bend my knee, I'm supposed to be at 90 degrees but I finally got to 83 degrees. So I guess thats ok. But I have to get to 90 so I can get my new brace next Tuesday. Also I found out that during the surgery they hit a nerve so part of my knee is numb. I asked if it was permnament but they said no. It should take a few months for the nerve tissue to grow back. Anyways I got to go to lunch so I'll talk to you guys later. Toodles.

Im here in Intro to Computers. Today was a blah day. Oh right I had surgery, that went ok, i was dead, got asked out by my student doctor. Then went home and was in severe pain, got meds so basically i was doped up teh whoel week. I didnt do much all I did was sleep and watch Seasons 1 and 2 of the West Wing. I Went back to school on Monday. It was hard the first day but Tuesday was a lot easier. I get this big ass brace off me next Tuesday, the 9th. Rob comes home May 6th. Im really excited but I'm sure that you know that already. I read Jenna's entry, I'm not gunna lie, I was a little disappointed but it's her body not mine. Today we have a the "Prom Promise" assembly so all of our classes are shortened. I am a month ahead of everyone else so I basically use this as a study hall. Anyways, Im out cause the bell is going to ring soon.

today was a very boring day. Yesterday there was a huge fight in the cafeteria. It was the Black table vs. the hokcey table (all senior white guys) It got so out of control, there wasnt enough teachers to break up the fight, so all these teachers from the art center and 1st floor were running. I can almost 100% guarantee you that on Monday when we get back we'll have a a racist assembly. What fun that will be! my mom already has my night bag packed, i dont know what time my surgery is but ill be sure to write an entry tomorrow to let you know. I have no idea when ill be on after tomorrow. if u guys dont know i have to stay over night at the hospital friday night, that should be interesting.....

this weekend was a spring cleaning one. I cleaned my room up that way i wont kill myself after surgery trying to get to my bed wow, this weekend was really boring, but hey for once i actually did all my homework and got it done. anyways jenna wants me to read her entry cause she said that she might kill me so i think ill go read that now but ill still love her

Blah day, woke up got dressed put gas in the car. Somehow it spilled all over me and i still smell like gas. Didnt have any test today, thats a change. I have a lot next week though which sucks. I called my surgeon today and talked about the surgery, I saw my friend Sam's knee and im not fond of the scarring. guys I'm not gunna lie, this really sucks! But w.e i get $50 out of it, which is good since i just took out $50 today. We had a production meeting, those are pointless cause the plays are so short and simple this year that I think that the directors should calla production meeting, not all 4 at teh same time. Nothing gets done. But anyways I got home, had some toast and slept til 7:30. me and Jacki did some rearranging and then I watched AFV for 2 hours. Here I am doing nothing, bored out of my mind.

Holy shit i havent been on in a while. Sorry about that. All you've missed is all the play drama which you wouldnt understand. I am not starting up with teh Student Directed One Act plays. I am a stage manager for one of them and am "in charge" of all the stage managers. Meghan Bauer (my LOVE) is one of the stage managers. Once again i loathe Bridget Mannion and wish she would die. Math sucks balls! My surgery is next Friday, kinda anxious but not scared in the least bit. Going to do homework. Ill keep updating til my surgery. Love yas!