Its been a while since ive done an entry. I guess there hasnt really been anything noteworthy to write about. A lot of small things have happened but they dont really seem worth writing an entry on. I dont know where im going with this entry... well i do but i just dont know how to get there.

SOooo its been about three/four months now since Chantal and I broke up. When we did break up, she told me im a great guy and that i would have no trouble finding someone else. Since then I have met Elly, Melissa, Jill, Courtney, Karine, Kristin, Anastasia and Hilary. With all of them, there was an attempt to date or we actually did go on a date or two. Not a single one however resulted in anything, Which in some cases is my fault, i just wasnt interested. ya ya ya they are all girls i met at the bar but i dont think thats too bad of a thing.

In the last few weeks it seems everytime i go to the bar, i see chantal there. There have been tons of hints that she wants to get back together with me. I didnt know how i felt about that at first.. A few months ago i told myself that i would not ever get back together with her :/. I went on my first date with Hilary two weeks ago. The date was mediocre. After the date when i dropped her off at home i leaned in to kiss her before she got out of the car, and she quickly turned her head when i went to do so.. i kissed her cheek. She seems like a super shy girl but i just didnt really have that great of a time. The next day I just really started thinking. I am getting tired of going to the bar and meeting girls. Im just tired of the bar in general. Im tired of being 'a player' and i do want a relationship. The day after the date with Hilary i texted Chantal and asked her to go to TYC on thursday as i was going for a friends bday. She went to the bar and we spent the night together. At this point i am certain she does want to get back together with me, but i feel like i shouldnt make that first move as it was her who ended it in the first place. At the end of the night there was a slow song and we were dancing, oblivious of the rest of the world around us. It was just her and me at that moment. And i guess the music had stopped and the lights were all on, and we were like the only ones left on the dance floor still in 'slow dance stance' (if that makes sense) We were just lost in eachother i suppose.. And then these three drunk girls attack us and one of them says 'awww they are sooo in lovveee'. kinda lame... but kinda cute...

On the saturday after, (Halloween) we went to stereo, she was there. Finally that night we kissed, after some mushy talk blah blah blah ha. The next day i went over to her place, and we hung out alone for the first time in months. It was then, while i was holding her that i realized how much i really missed her. The saying may be 'You dont know what youve got till its gone' But when we broke up, i felt like i got over her rather well. I felt that i wouldnt have a hard time 'replacing' her. I guess this wasnt the case. It wasnt the case of 'you dont know what youve got till its gone' but, i didnt realize what i had until i got it back. It just seemed so unreal to be laying next to her. I never thought id ever be doing that again.

The last four days ive hung out with her now. Last night we went to the zellers xmas party. After the xmas party we all went to TYC as it is next door. While there we bumped into Janelle and Jackie. They asked who Chantal was and if she was my GF. Chantal didnt say anything and kinda ignored it. this kind of hurt me, but what she told me later made sense.. All this time i was waiting for her to make a move because i thought that its all up to her because she was the one who ended it. Her thoughts were the opposite and she felt its all up to me because she broke my heart so its up to me if i will take her back. Anyways after the bar she drove me home and we talked for a long time. She says she doesnt think she deserves to have me back after all that has happened. I can tell she has changed though. We decided to start over. We are back together. Already i hear people saying that getting back together with your ex never works out. I have no idea if its going to work this time or not but i do know that she means a lot to me.. More than i even knew. I feel like the break we had will turn out to be a good thing, because i now realize what i lost, and i dont want to lose her again. And i think she feels the same way.

Dang this entry ended up sloppy. Final thought tho, I wonder what my parents (mom and grandma) are going to say when i tell them that Chantal and I are back together. I think thats going to be quite interesting.