Apparently I never update...lol Well here's an update. There. love bee

It seems nobody reads these entries anyways...which is okay, I suppose, because I'm a rather uninteresting person anyways. I got a sweet hoodie/coat today. And I saw Harry Potter. And I went out to Dinner. All of which were with Christine. mmm anyways, I'm just killing time right now because I don't have anything to do but for some reason I feel that I'm not meant to go to bed just right yet. peace brady

Hello....not much to say... other than the fact that today is the 7th month! Yay 7 is a cool number. xxxx brady

Hello, and I suppose this will be my..er...Christmas entry. I got some sweet things this year. I'm particularly excited about the art stuff Christine and her parents got me (book, pencil set, sketchbooks, magnet poetry). I'm getting into sketching...and it's way different than computerized art. However, I've managed to incorporate the best of both worlds...I take my sketches and add color to them on the computer and make them look kinda like paintings. However, none of the imagery itself is computerized...only the color.... so, without any further ado, my pictures... Christine's drawing, my color added My drawing, my coloring My drawing, my coloring...sorry about the bad picture quality...I used a stupid webcam to take the picture of my sketches. I also got some sweet shirts from Christine (she even made me a really cool one with lots of spatterpaint pink and purple dots)...as well as some SWEET lipchap and a pair of hott funky socks (plus the art stuff and poetry magnets). However...the cutest and most thoughtful gift she got me was...a journal filled with her entries to me since October 1st...it's SOO Cute and its SUCH a sweet journal...thanks, Babe :) :D...I HAD THE AWESOMEST CHRISTMAS EVER! You're so thoughtful...and I love every single gift you got me...they are truly things I will use for a long time, and the journal will definately be one of my most treasured possessions for a long time to come. I love you. XXX bee

Good morning to all...I'm in a good mood -Christmas is almost here -The Christmas BREAK is almost here -Christine is sleeping at my house for a couple days during the break -I get paid this Friday -I'm doing something this Friday -We're doing social dance in gym (and my secret crush dropped in the class by a coincidence that she has a spare...I hope I can dance with her, but I'm nervous about holding her hand) -I've felt it every day of the week so far. :D yeah, music is fun. and making it is more fun. and just...seeing somebody every day that's equally happy to see ME every day is...well, more than I could ask for. i love you. a really lot. XXXXXX bee

This week hasn't been very good. I've had lots of discussions with Christine, on the more serious side of things, as well as lots of arguing with my parents, et al., plus I have a project due Monday and lots of school stuff on my mind.... You know, it's true that life's a rollercoaster...it's like...one minute you love every minute of your life and you can't imagine yourself being any happier, and you're perfectly content with your existence...and then something happens and turns that around, and I end up becoming a really pensive kid who gets pissed off at everybody and everything, and I always end up putting my foot in my mouth over the stuff I say to people. Sometimes I don't even mean it. It's like...my words are just the product of chemicals in my brain reacting with each other, which, as a result, causes me to feel different than my usual - and hence lowering my levels of choices, consequence, and saying rational and doing rational things...and yeah, my sentence structure sucks right now but I don't really feel like rereading this... I don't know what to say right now. Everything's different than it used to be. And yet nothing's changed. Logically speaking, something HAD to have changed, otherwise it wouldn't be this way...but if nothing is evident, then it has to be some really small subconscious splinter in my mind that has managed to wedge itself so deeply that all traces of its existence manifest as a seemingly naturally-ocurring emotion. Then there's the non-scientific approach...just saying that I act the way I act when I feel like it...which is really open-ended....because in actuality, we DO have chemicals in our brain, which DO influence our choices, which DO shape who we are...so theoretically there's no such thing as being "who we are" in a sense; we are merely fuctioning as the visible and interactive answer to a chemical question formed unconsciously by our brains. Our personality is simply the result of an equation. A number of reactions. Yeah, I'm feeling deep right now, but I can't talk to anybody about it. I just don't understand people sometimes. I don't understand why people make big deals of things. Or little deals of things. I don't understand why people live off of a clock, when in fact time is just another form of measurement...people don't live their life on other forms of measurement...why should time be an exception? Life happens. People can be the best and worst thing to happen to you. I sometimes wish I could take back something I said, or something I thought, or something I did...because some people don't take anything as the reason I intended it. But yeah...these wishes are not new wishes on the face of the earth, and I'm sure I'm just one of the many numbers of people who want these things....but we all know, we cannot move backwards in our lives. We only move forward, at a constant and steady pace. But only sometimes do we want to move forward. -brady

Yeah, I really should be putting more entries in. I guess this is the first real opportunity I've had for a while...I'm out and about a lot of the time these days. On the note of Halloween, it reminds me...there are some cool Days to look forward to coming up...I mean, there's Halloween, and then after that, it's..well...Christmas, and then Boxing Day and the new year, and then ValenTINE's day...so that'll be sweet. (L) Anyhow...not much is really new. Really. I'm going to be UBER busy performance-wise in the next next week... Mon- I play for a police conference in a 5-piece quintet Tues-Academic Awards Wed-Play at the university Thurs-Open House performance Fri-Leave for a jazz/concert festival (Fri, Sat, Sun...I play lots...) ITS GOING TO BE SO FUN! And plus I'll be spending my time with two of my most favorite people ever....Shire and Christine. But we all know who I'm looking forward to spending time with most. Why, Kelvin, of course. So I finally tried a long-awaited-by-some fauxhawk the other day...not a punk-inspired one; more of an art-inspired one...I like it. I also like sraight spikes....like, not all going straight up, but straight...if you know what I mean. I downloaded a really sweet soundtrack by my FAVORITE movie composer (Alan Silvestri)...it's from CONTACT...and I'm listening to it right now...it's beautiful. There's something about strings and movie music that goes so well together...especially the way Alan phrases everything. It's explosive. And aurally inspiring. I feel like doing art now. Anyways, there's not really much else to say. The last couple days have been really sweet. It's awesome when I spend my whole days (or close to whole days) with the people that matter to me most...it's like...if you surround your spirit by great inspiration....it's good for you. Well, me. Good for you=second person. Anyhow....'nough said. Peace -brady bee

I haven't been OUT out for a while now, and tomorrow I'm going to Chinook! Yayy and I'm getting ice cream! Yaayy...I dunno what else. I'm in a really great mood right now. Hopefully tomorrow is really awesome, but yeah...lol I'm so boring. I'm so proud of her...in so many ways.

Today was like...such an awesome day. I'm soo tired right now, so I'm going to have to try and be concise, but... I went out to dinner I got some sweet Christmas ideas And other stuff you can leave your imagination to. LX AZAD!:D peace brady

Recently I've gotten into digital painting and modeling. It's really fun (duh) and I'm actually considering a career doing some sort of graphics work (art director, special effects artist, etc.)...sweet. NOt really much is new...school is still going along sweet, and so is everything with Christine, so I don't really have anything to complain about. We're going to Canmore for festival, and that's going to be sweet, only Greg's on our bus and Christine doesn't like him, so, yeah. And I'm getting into the habit of going to the Y at least three times a week (unless I have to work on projects or something)... As opposed to feeling like school was a heavyweight at the beginning of the year, I've gotten more used to it and am finding that it's easier to have a life than it was in Junior High. Interesting, isn't it? Well, I'm going to go now. Peace. -brady aka bee (L)

Once again, it's been a while since I've given an entry. I feel musical right now. Recent bands: Modest Mouse The Mars Volta Spock's Beard Tommy Emmanuel Neal Schon RUFUS WAINWRIGHT! I love: Anberlin Mae John Mayer Ellis (wish I could get their music!) Jazz Rufus Wainright!!! Alan Silvestri meh...I can't list much right now...anyhow. School with Christine is so cool. :D -brady

Hello, and ... yeah lol I'm done for a week! Yes! Sorry...I really think working is a waste of a day...because really, when I have to work on a particular day, I can't do anything else with anybody or do anything other than working...which is gay...but hey, I get money...which IS good...but w/e. I'm going to go to the Y with Christine tonight...when she gets back from riding...more like IF she gets back though :P. Her dad is coming back from Edmonton to pick her up and everything, and judging by her dad's usual pace, she might not be home until 3 or so, which sucks...but w/e...so long as I go to the Y I'll be fine. :D Yesterday was an interesting day...I dyed my hair black and red...the package advertised it as a purply kind of fushia color, but it turned out red...which is sweet too, because a fauxhawk looks devilish and sweet...and the black looks more like a really really dark dark purply blue...kinda...but yeah...in case you haven't noticed, I'm not really putting much thought into writing...I think it's partly because I'm tired...and partly because I'm tired..haha...*yawn*. I ended my summer working at McDonald's by working @ 6am two days in a row....which is gay, because that means I have to get up around 5am...and what's even gayer is that I got only 6 hours of sleep or so last night because I went to bed @ 11pm...so ahhh I GET TO SLEEP IN! and yes, I sound needy....... :P Only 2 days until school starts! I'm excited! Nothing else new, though. -brady Ahh I feel the tension completely gone. ;)

I'm exicted...I only have three more shifts until school starts...yay...down with grease! I went shopping yesterday with Christine. I got some SWEETASS cologne...to prevent people from stealing my uniqueness I will not name it, but it smells really sweet. And then I got some really awesome gap shirts and a sweet AE polo (that's right Jenn...AE!). Then I worked out. Then I had dinner at Christine's. Plus other stuff too. It was a great day :) I really need to start playing bass lots...Jazz starts really uber soon and I have not played like, all summer....and I need to be 893482938423% better than I am now, so....lol the band will hate me. Apparently I'm hard to shop for. Hmm...well, whatever. The reason I'm hard to shop for is simply because I don't want and/or need anything....that is, other than the stuff I'm buying next weekend :P I work today...but not for a little bit. I want to roast marshmallows. On monday. I'm dying my hair on saturday! Of course, if I have the time....but for sure it'll get done before school starts. :D I got my schedule yesterday, albeit it is FULL of mistakes...but w/e...I know for sure Christine and I have the same English, Math, and Science classes...so that's really sweet. Plus I'll probably be in Shire's English class too. That'll be even sweeter. One thing I don't want is for anything relationship-wise to change. And I'm not just talking about Christine. I'm talking about everybody I know and have a relationship with, particularly Jenn, Wudrick, and Jesse. Mind you, however, I particularly don't want things to change with Christine...but the thing is, she doesn't want them to change either..but that doesn't mean anything, because would it really be either of our intentions anyways if something changed? Now I'm getting sort of pensive at the though of that...but...I know for sure it's not going to happen (for now anyways I can be sure of...for sure :P), so I guess I feel ok. You know, not spending a day with Christine is just as good as spending a day with her. It's like....distance DOES make the heart grow fonder. And you know, school will be good for us. I think it'll strengthen our relationship. It'll make us treasure the moments we have together more. And best of all, I'll get some quality time with her doing everyday things with her in class, which is fun. I sure am looking forward to school. No matter how much she isn't :P. But either way, it's more than a couple days away, and all I have to do is sit and wait for time to pass... and just do a little more work. -brady

Today was a cool day, I guess. I went to the Y and worked out in the morning, and did 25min on the treadmill, which was pretty tiring...then I did some upper body stuff and called it a day. Then when I got home I showered and went out to go look at hair dye, tshirts, and get my hair done. The purple hair dye I saw though might not show that well, so I'm looking into the colored gel stuff...not actually dye, but just color. I'll probably get my hair tips black and then just color from there...purple, blue, pink, whatever...I'll buy like 4 tubes. BUT...I'm soo excited! This is my last week of working summer hours, and I'm psyched, because I'll have some of my summer earnings to put to good use...SHOPPING! I'm gonna go with Christine and get some sweet clothes...and cologne and shoes and stuff...yay...and who knows, maybe some uber-cool underwear for her to drool over :P I work tomorrow, and pretty much all day....put I suck it up because I know it's my fourth last shift until I'm OFF...yayayyyyyy... My hands are so cold right now...it's hard typing. I want to buy a really preppy looking frock...I already have a brownish sportcoat, but a frock looks....in my opinion....well, I think it's like the hottest type of jacket EVER...I mean seriously...it's lovely. Going back to school is going to be fun. I guess. Lots of new faces, lots of old ones...lots of being busy, and lots of music...and hard work...it'd suck if I spent all three years of junior high picturing senior high as some great place to go to learn...I mean, sure I'm in advanced placement courses, but I mean, what if it's all just one big lie and it's just as dead-ended as junior high? THAT'D SUCK! Another thing...Christine is cool. lol. She always manages to cheer me up. And I know lots about her, but she still manages to be mysterious in a cool way. Plus she's so...gorgeous...and smart and all those stereotypical traits people love. But she's a people person. A real inspiration. We went to the mall the other day and this one chick stopped us in our tracks and said "Sorry to be weird, but I saw you two walking over here and I've got to say, you're the CUTEST COUPLE EVER!" That made me feel good. But on another note, yesterday was weird, because we got lots of comments from people we don't know. I was wearing my Mae shirt, and we were sitting in the school gym while everybody was lined up to do various back-to-school things, and this one girl came over to me and asked where I got the shirt. I told her I got it online and she said it was sweet and that Mae is her favorite band. That was cool. And then we walked to the mall...and on the way this girl waitng at a bus stop knocked on the glass window and pointed at me and fanned herself and smiled...I guess she was trying to tell me I'm hot...and I was like uhh lol because as much as I like being known as being hot...I only like it and take it to heart if Christine says I'm hot. And then we were leaving the mall, and this guy opened the door for us, and because Christine was behind me and I was ahead of her, she heard the guy go "I only opened it for him because he's wearing a Mae shirt"...and I laughed...lol We saw Jesse & Jenn & Wudrick as well at school...they look older. Jenn has the whole art-dealer-esque jeanjacket thingy going on, and Jesse has a fauxhawk...and I'm like "wow, I'm not the only one who's changed". But you know... That Chaplin guy from Keane says it best: "But everybody's changing And I don't feel the same" -brady

So I got my new sexxy bass finally! It's SOO sweet! It's got brand new strings, and the piezo is terrific....like....wow....melty. There's not much to say...but I got purple, pink, and black hair dye today, and I think I'm going to do my hair sometime...when I convince my parents to let me...why is dying hair seen as such a crime? -brady

Wow, it's been quite some time since my last entry...but not that really, considering that a long time can be anywhere up to ...forever. I had a good day today. Highlights include going to Wedding Crashers with Christine, then going back to my house and watching some Rufus Wainwright, and then getting a tshirt I ordered in the mail...but man, Christine is a fun person. I wore one of my funky stripey blue dress shirts today to the mall, and when I walked by a group of people, I heard one of them go "omg, look at that shirt" in a really bad tone...it made me feel horrible. But you know, it's just a shirt, and that's just an opinion, and well...doesn't matter. I can't wait for the end of the summer, though. That's for sure. #1 I'll be able to spend all my summer earnings, #2 I'll buy new clothes and a new bass, #3 I'm getting my hair done really funkily, and #4, HIGH SCHOOL! The music program will be a blast. What I think is odd is that every time Christine and I want to plan something with Jesse and Jenn it always falls through...like, it's almost like we're never meant to do anything together. I'm almost afraid to force any get-together because it might end horribly somehow.... Christine's birthday is coming up! I'm going to see her ride, and I'm staying for dinner at her house...and those are the plans as of yet. Everything else will get filled in, I suppose. Perhaps THEN we can arrange something to do with Jesse & Jenn...yes...mm...quite. So, lately, I've felt very artistic. I feel like getting into painting, or some other form of visual art, but I don't have the necessary supplies, and plus, I don't think I'd have any way of conveying my thoughts on a canvas. I think that's the tough part of being an artist. I really respect people who can take something in their head and turn it into something physical...something that other people can interpret and appreciate. I guess I'm that way with music, although the stuff in my head always sounds somewhat different (and even in some cases CONSIDERABLY different) that what I end up recording, or producing, or whatever...not that I'm unhappy with the results, but--- I don't think that you're musically talented if you're able to play an instrument well. I mean sure, it takes effort, but I think that generally speaking, the talent required to play a music instrument is good coordination...everything else, like good posture, good tone, and flow, are all not talents...those are just skills developed. Just like muscles. So, having said that, what might you ask, is MY opinion of being talented musically? Well considering the way I relate my ideas in couplet form, you should already have it---a musically talented person is somebody who can take something from their head and turn it into something somebody else can hear...or vice versa...taking something they hear and playing it in their head. In a way, everybody is musical...because according to my law, humming a melody from the top of your head is being talented musically. Congratulations world, I just widened the possible amount of famous people to come! -Which brings me to my next point...famous people....ever notice how the general population of young people always aspire to be somebody famous? Or a role model in the least? Everybody has a role model, even if it's a God or a deity. But somehow, everybody who's being looked up to on the most part is just so superficial that it startles me to think that that is what the general population will grow up to be----nothing less than some cardboard cutout human being with a paper heart and a mysteriously marionette-like posture. Meh. I don't care. Not EVERYBODY will end up being that stereotyped. In fact, by the time people reach a certain maturity, most will outgrow the whole cliquey fashions they partook in when they were young...but it always seems like people are divided into two equally segregated classifications - people who care, and people who don't. Everything can be classified as that. And you can't say there are people who are in the median of that...as in, in between caring and not caring. Because (I apologize for starting a sentence with 'because' :P) either you care or you don't, and if you don't care, then you don't do care, which therefore puts you in the latter classification (for those who are lost, this is the 'not caring' section). Anyhow....enough of that confusing stuff...I don't even know if I'm making any sense. And some people might think I picture myself as some super-mature pedestal-bearing individual by saying everything I've said...but that's not true. I'm just pointing out the things nobody else points out. Who knows if they're thinking it, but none bother typing anything. (They just don't care). Anyways...I really wonder what growing up will turn out to be. I mean, I've seen and/or heard of people who did NOT do what their dreams were when they were in their late teens, maybe due to lack of credentials (such as education or training), and maybe due to lack of motivation, but either the case, not pursuing their dreams...and then there's the other group of people I've seen and/or heard of who completely fulfilled their life dream of doing what they felt they were meant to be doing....I want to have the latter, and of course, who wouldn't? I just wonder sometimes if everything I do now affects the meaning of my life, and if so, should I start being careful about what I do and say now? Now, that doesn't mean I don't live my life with disregard as it is, but, nonetheless... Another thing is love. Love means a different thing to everybody. You always hear about somebody you know being in love, or maybe you're in love yourself...but have you ever heard somebody say "oh, you don't know what love is!" I disagree. If love = a different thing to everybody, and everybody has a different perception of the mysterious emotion, then how can one say to another that they don't know what it is? It's like telling an artist he's painting a picture the WRONG WAY...there's just no wrong way....given the artist is happy with the outcome...and, analogetically (yes, I just said that), that translates back into this neatly-compacted statement: Love is something different to everybody, so how can you tell somebody they don't know what it is? You just have to trust that you know what it is when you find it, and if you trust yourself enough, you have to hold onto it. Ok, ok, ok....maybe that's not entirely what the analogy meant, but....just look into it...I'm a very hard-to-understand person, so just run with it. So today was stormy. Not really stormy, but just rainy and generally forboding in the sky. I liked it. But I wasn't in the GREATEST mood until I was just coming in from the rain, so I didn't really grow to appreciate it as much as I should have. You know, I love how random I am with my thoughts. Well, to be fair, it's not really random, but more...uhh....what's the word I'm looking for....spontaneous. Yeah, when I'm older, I want to be happy. (and omg that sounded so corny)...but you know what I mean...I want to build my own house (not literally...these days building your own house means buying land, hiring a contractor, and having them build a house to your specifications), have a nice family, have a few kids with some REALLY funky names, have a nice career....what more would I want? Peace. and Love. And I want to be able to watch the crimson sunset every night from my back porch, holding the love of my life in my arms, with our hair blowing in the wind, but not a cold wind....and getting that goodnight kiss that can never be too perfect. Or the last hug before you go to sleep. Or the last whisper before your ears take a break. Or the last thought before your mind turns off for the night. And then, that last look in the eyes before you know your eyelids are too heavy to stay open anymore, so you just snuggle up closer to each other, feeling each other's warmth, and don't say anything to each other....just express yourself through feelings and holding them...kissing them softly on the forehead, or lips for that matter, and caressing their back with your hand...blowing softly on their neck to give them shivers, and listening to their heart beat to remind you of how real they are. And how you're both human and alive at that moment in time. And just knowing that the love of my life is there, to experience every moment with me, for better or worse, to breathe every breath I take along my side, and to take care of me and have a great understanding for who I am inside and what matters to me, and what makes me tick... that'll be enough -brady (L)

SO- I'm back home now, and I downloaded some sweet music...some more Rufus Wainwright and Neal Schon...but yeah. I work tomorrow at 6am for the first time in a week...joy. I need to "get back into the groove" otherwise I won't make any money. Pah. I am very short-fused. peace brady

This afternoon I'm going to a relative's 90th birthday party...and apparently I'm wanted to play piano as background music...either that or play happy birthday on the piano while everybody sings. Whatever. I'm in a good mood, I guess...there's really nothing that's putting me in a bad mood...but I DO miss Christine...not that that has the potential to put me in a bad mood...it just makes me wish I was someplace else. love brady

I'm hungry. Nothing new. These days, I'm really into listening to my Rufus Wainwright CDs...I find them really enjoyable and I really enjoy Rufus' songwriting style and ability. Too bad he's gay or I'd be all over him :p ttyl brady (I miiiiisss you!!)