yeah, i hate her. i know it sounds stupid and it's like oh you dont hate your mother. but i do, i really honestly truly do. I'm in such an awful mood about everything. I don't get upset about not having a boyfriend anymore. sometimes i just breakdown and tear apart and myself and think "what the fuck is wrong with me? am i that bad?" the fact that i'm going into 9th grade scares me. i'm so so scared of growing up i really dont want to, yet i do. everythings so sucky. it's already august & i haven't done much of anything this summer. my best friend can't even make time for me, all she does is hang out with her boyfriend. and leah only hangs out with katy, it's like i'm not good enough for her. fuck her. fuck janet. i need new friends very badly. my moms got some jewelry missing, and she thinks me or my sister stole it. she's so fucked up in the head, it makes me want to cry, i just wish she would stop drinking. i'd rather her smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day then drink beer. i pray to god everyday that i dont turn out like her. i want to run away so badly. i want to get out of here.