i hate ccri. i wish i could go to a real college that i can actualy afford. i want to go to school in nh. i miss nh more than any of you would ever know. i feel like there are a few peices of myself missing. one of them nh the other my dad, colleen and tommy. i fucking hate backstabbers. im not sure how i stand on wanting to move anymore. half of me wants to get the hell out of this town and the other half doesnt want to leave the house i grew up in. at the same time its starting to feel like a house, not a home. i need a fucking job. i hate that you put words in my mouth. i wish that i could say things once not 208234 times for anyone to actually listen. i wish i had someone i could fucking rely on. this may sounds like complaining to you, but its just my way of getting things out of my system. i need to go skiing. i need i to snow. i need to clear my head. turns out that who you thought are your friends arnt so much anymore to bad i cant stand up for myself _________________ I've got no master plan to help me out Or make me stand up for All the things that I really want You had me too afraid to ask And as I look ahead of me I try and pray for sanity