my bad

Listening to: shortie like mine
Feeling: affectionate
Sit me and dis nigga was cakin yestaday and he was like all on me, first we was just pushin each other off da sidewalk when we was watin for our parents then we i was leaning on the wall and he came over and stood behindme like super close, he had his head on my shoulder and he flicked me on my throat and then i was like y u flick me he said iont kno and flicked me on my hip and i was like ow stop and he kept tryin to touch my butt i was like u better stop b4 i kick u in da nuts and he was like no u not so he touched my as again and i tried to kick him in da nuts and got really close den he picked me up and i wa slike put me down he let me go and i stood back where i was standin he stood behind me again da same way and put his cheek against my cheek and he was like playin wit my neck and shit , he kept movin den i said i dont trust him and was like he wasn't trustworthy and he got mad and i told him to get off me so he did and den 2day wenwe was spose to hug ppl he acted like he didnt want a hug so i was like ok and was bou to keep walkin but he grabbed my yhand and was crying for me to give him a hug so i hugged him, den i kept ignoring him and so after church he was mad, but i aint ko he jad a girlfriend so now i feel kinda bad dat i was flirtin wit him but hey he sarted it, he knew he had a girlfriend but was all on me i feel sorry for her cause i heard she really like him but her man's a whore my friend said i'm not da only one he flirt wit but he don't flirt like dat.(well i aint tell her all we did jus dat we was cakin and caked up) just had to get dat out so now i can go to sleep bye
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tell me!

Listening to: boyz 2 men
Feeling: confused
So if this boi acts like he likes you sometimes and then others he's i dont even know just actin wierd. like when we alone he be touchin me and crap but den in class he act differently. on monday me and my friend was walkin in front of the busses and he was bout to get left. so for some reason when he ran pastr us he found da need to touch my face. den when i was in da hall he did it again i wnt up to him and was like we bout to fight. he was askin y and i wa like cause dis da second time u done touched my face this week then he was like he thought he had that right and i was like whatevah give me a hug so he gave me a hug and den he was like he thought he had that right i walked away . my friends was talkin 2 me and he walked by and whispered in my ear i was like loser. but me and my friend was talkin and she was like she think he like me i was like whatevah cause he got a whole bunch of hoes all up on him and i' rerally not da type of girl to be all up on a nigga like dat. i talked to him after class and was like y he think he got da right to touch me onmy fae and he was like he just do or whatevah and den he was like hee da only one dat can touch my face den he touched my faceand i was like whatevah and walked away. I like him but he play to many damn games like today he all on me and den in class we don't ever talk (almost) i guess its partly my fault we dont talk i guess its because im not tryna be one of his many groupies my friend says dats y he like me but whatevah i'm a keep talkin to my others because he playin to many games. until he ask me to go wit him or make some commitment ova dan he da only one dat can touch my face i'ma make sure when he see me next week im going to be flirtin wit some dudes. then i'll really see what he wants den. this entire process is just soooo annoyin i wish i didn't like him. I don't know what to do whatevah
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untitled

Listening to: boyz 2 men
Feeling: depressed
it's the end of the 4th week of my 9th grae year and i'm already depressed. I just figured out that i have no friends, i mean i have friends but noone that actually knows me inside and out i mean that really knows me, i have sum1 real close to that but none knows y i act the way i do. y i'm mean to a lot of people or not necissarily mean but really snappy as if i can't stand them or why i'm loud outgoing and outspoken. I don't think i've heard the word good friend come out of any of my friends mouths' for a while if not ever, I don't know why but this makes me feel unappreciated like the only reason that im really around is to protect my friends from some nigga dats messin wit dem or sumthin. I don't feel like anyone has taken da time out to listen to my real problems but no matter what i've taken da time 2 listen 2 deres even if it's da stupidest simplest shit i've ever heard. It also makes me feel mad because i have noone on earth that truly loves me, sure there's one person everynigfght that thinks of u but sumthin tells me dat 1 person may not be sum1 that i truly like or care for. and if they are they don't have the balls tro come and tell me. idk my i'e been through so much shit in my life it's hard to believe that , that i have friends at all. sumtimes da way i treat other ppl is da way other ppl treated me and i guess dats what makes me so mad. dat i can't break da cycle,. and i'm intimidating to everyone i meet. idk whats wrong with me but at this point of my life i'm ready to quit t quit tryin 2 make friends 2 m,ake dudes like me to impress which i don't really do i jut sum1 2 listen to me to understand my point of view and to help me out in my life. I want ppl 2 stop sayin dat since im da youngest in da class i deserve to get treated like a baby or sum BS like dat im more nature dan most if not all da 9th graders and it kills me when dey sat stupid shit like dat. im tired of russell actin like he's some damn superior ad keep tryin 2 test da waters wit me, im tired of cameron actrin like a damn fool all da time and actin like he still in da damn 6th grade, grow da hell up, im not sayin omg change cause we're in high skool jus change because u need 2 in 4 years we gonna be out and on are own and trust and belive u cant be actin like u belong in da damn circus. im tired of my day 2 day life. I'm tired of everybody just assumin im a certain way and not askin me shit i'm tired of da fact dat everyboi i like will probbably never like me back, im also tired dat although sum ppl r spose to be my friends dey be doggin me. i'm tired of tryin 2 leave in my own fantasy world and avoid all da shit of my regular life. i'm jus tired and depressed, i just want high school 2 b over i jus want sum caring loving real friends, i just wnt ppl to c me
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what a weekend

Listening to: destiny child
Feeling: disappointed
If u want to kno how my weekend went it went not horrible but not the best. In a play my baby got shot, i found out that the most annoying persin in the world is related to the sexiest. and i think my friend is a hoe. okay maybe not the last one, but the rest yes it all started friday i felt like i failedf a test and we went to a play the play was good and this boi was init he was sexy as hell !!!!!!!!!! and my friend last time we saw him thought he was just straight now she think he is so sexy justlike i do she always winds up liking the boys i do and sometimes gets them(sike) i usually only look at older guys. for some reason mostly juniors. so that made me mad then the next night she said she talked to him and was like my friend like u (me) but she a little under age and he was like we could be friends or sumthin. and today i find out that my biggest crush is related to THE MOST ANNOYING 7TH GRADE BOI EVER!!!!! how sad. oh what a weekend i mean how can someone so amazing be related to something sooooooooooooo annoying.
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so happy

Feeling: exhausted
Today was the last day of school and i am so happy i have been up all week studying for finals and remembering lines talk about exhausting but we're going to Lake Lenier tomorrow and i am so happy can't wait 5 days to THE BIRTH OF CHRIST im sorry if i offend anybody but i think the world has just completely threw the true meaning of CHRIST mas i mean if i offend someone by saying hristmas they offend me by saying happy holidays CHRISTmas has become to commercialized i mean i love getting presents but half the famlies will not go to church at all Sunday morning but i will be getting up to sing @ 7:00 a.m. i'm not one of those holier than thou people but some things need to be said and we're the voice of tomorrow and if we don't speak up who will this country will be up to us one day and when you look back in history do u want your kids to see that we were the generation that let CHRISTMAS be left up to polotics. Jews and all that is good but that's not my problem if you don't like CHRISTMAS want me to say it again CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS . it's just not right that BUSH decides what we need to call the day our saviour was born i mean if he really was the Christian that he said he was to win this pass election he would have NEVER let something like this pass that's just not right. i think we have all misplaced Christmas it's too important to go down the drain by people who don't want to offend fomeone but do anyway you have your religion we have ours what u put up we can't say we don't want up so back off once again i mean to offend noone just speaking my mind. so respect my opinion and i'll respect yours have a very merry CHRISTMAS
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Untitled

my friend has this new boyfriend and i started off being really happy for her nd then confused when she kept talking about this other boy that she had liked but said she wasn't even interested in anymore i think she just is really excited that a fine boy really really likes her. she says he talks about doing stuff to her (having sex) and the first week thursday she said she was scared and that we needed to protect her on sunday when we saw him at church well apparently that feeling did not last long because she was inviting him to sit with us and giving him my candy that bitch must be crazy that was chocalate too. he gave it back though after i threatened to cut him yes i threatened to cut him on church grounds acctually in the chapel. so he was siting next to her and i was sitting on the outside he is really really cute with a big ass head. and now she tells him that she loves him and she just met him 3 weeks ago i think hes just buttering up for easy acces to the inside of them pants i mean they were making out sunday in the chapel come on now making out in the chapel. and she was underlining this guy name in her bible with him right accross the room and showing to all us girls it was kind of weird but i always knew she liked the boy from our school a lot but damn ur man is sitting right there she even wrote his name on a church program and passed it right over him to me. wow he must not have been to curious. we're about to pick her up for bible
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sad

Listening to: like you
Feeling: eh
WOW that is so sad what happened to those people in new orleans my sister goes to school but she made it here just in time that was just so sad we are going to get a lot of new kids monday and were give them backpacks filled with school supplies. i gotta go
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school is shit

Feeling: accepted
i hate my fn school there are so many bitches at my school i mean it's the second week of school and they are already acting like some serious bitches and it's getting on my last fn nerves i mean can't you control your bitchy side until the 4th week of school at least cause no one feel like dealing wit dat bull shit the 1st week of school
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summer

Listening to: like you
Feeling: alive
wow this summer has been totally awesome i mean first i had tennis camp then spelman then savannah and then lousiana and i'm just coming back today. savannah was as pretty as ever but it was hot as hell down there i mean damn you'd think the devil grabbed a hold of you as soon as you open the door but it was cool i got to hang out a lot with my cousins and then i was back in the ATL if only for a day . then the next morning at 5:00 we had to leave and go to louisiana . i got to hang out with my cousins and i met a new cousin and a new friend and there was this fine ass boy wearing a a town hat from bastrop(a town were i went) boy some people just should not be related to you and he was most definitely one of those. me and my cousins were talking about everything on every subject i mean we even talked about how baby blu from pretty ricky said he had a 3 ft. dick and about that fine as hell nigga T.I. boy he know he sexy especially in pink whooo.i don't really like certain boys wearing pink but it looked real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real good on him. i mean i could just be myself around them and don't have to pretend i'm something i'm not and that's real cool well i gotta go.
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friends

Listening to: none
Feeling: abandoned
i have no friends on this freakin diary well accept for andrea and kimberly bu they they pretty much came with the package of signing up just playing so i ned some friends so here's some general info about me. my name is tian kinda like the number 10i'm 12 and live in the Atl i'm going to the eigth grade i'm kinda chunky but not overly overly weight and it's losing pretty fast now that i'm really active i don't have a boyfriend at this moment and i'm not actually looking for one but i'm not gay i'm all about boys as long as they not so trifeline and they cute and i can relate to them i currently am learning how to play tennis and i'm actually pretty good considering that i've only been realy playing for about two weeks i also dance ballet hince my username my family is from savannah and from a farm in lousiana i act and am told i'm pretty good at it it's not that i don't know if i'm good or not it's just that i do it i read the lines or don't and i put in the attitude i think it should have and that's it i love all of my activities especially acting and dancing and boy searching. so hit me up oh yeah i'm mostly into music like t.i, destiny child, ludacris, gwen stefani you no anything with a funky beat and cool words.oh yeah i'm black and if you have a problem wit that your entitled to your opinion and i'm also entitled to mine.
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b-a-n-a-n-a-s

Listening to: hollaback gurl
Feeling: aggravated
Take the What Fruit Are You? test by Ellen! i had to greet in my youth church today it was fine until they put me on the spot and made me do the welcome and the offratory prayer. oh yeah drea if your reading this you better pick up the phone and call me or your gonna get it at camp.
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summer

Feeling: accomplished
i have just finished my second week of tennis camp and i had a lot of fun. i know most people think of tennis as a boring sport. but it's really not and it causes you to be at least somewhat physically fit. trust me i'm not the skinniest girl in the ATL that's fo sure but it is a loty of fun but this one boy i think he kinda liked me or he is just a big flirt but if we were doing a drill he would usually aim balls at me or try to throw them at me and he would usually hit me sometimes if i didn't see the ball coming and this other boy just followed his lead and threw balls at me too. and so i usually if i can help it try to aim balls right at them sometimes i don't and it comes really close to them anyway they'll think i tried to do it on purpose and make my life at camp a living hell oh well that's over now. next off to spelman dance and drama but that was probably the best part of the summer anyway. wow summer is nearly over when you have something to do nearly everyday.
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vacation

Listening to: none
Feeling: alive
we just came back from calloway gardens it was pretty borring i mean the shower at the hotel didn't even have hot water so i had to take a barely luke warm shower that sucked. i start this tennis camp on tuesday that better be pretty fun or ima be kinda scratch that really mad oh well then after that i go to a dance and drama camp w/ drea and then i have a drama performance w/ Chy and then i go to Savannah and then when i come back. i go to lousiana for the family reunion the its back home for 2 weeks then its the dreaded wow the year is nearly over when you put everything in an ordered perspective oh well.
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stove

Listening to: nothin
Feeling: schizophrenic
i just screwed up our stove see i was tryin to make a smoothie so i had to crush the ice myself so i put the ice in a bag and started hammering on our countertop the bag moved over to the stove and i just kept on hammering and i hammered a kind of big hole right into our stove. my father is not home now but when he gets home my ass is as good as dead boy i know i'ma get it i think ima go to bed early tonite so i can save the drama for tomorrow or worst Saturday although he could just beat the crap out of me in my sleep. boy am i scared whoo.
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sweetie

Listening to: get out
Feeling: active
I just qadopted the cutest pet tiger it's a bengal those are the white ones of course he's virtural. but he's under my favorites adn underneath this entry. i named him sweetie because he is so cute.
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somethin

Listening to: wait
Feeling: awake
me and my friends were talkiing on the phone about somethin it more than likely had to deal with either boys, fashion, or tv. but yesterday my friend chynna called me and i talked to her and her friend keandre was on the phone and we were trying to call v 103.3 and hot 107.9 to hear whats happenin and we were on the phone with them radio stations for about an hour each. so me and chynna started talking about some boys that go to our church that we like and think is cute and keandre was sayin how gettin a phone number can lead into more like goin ova someone house and stuff well chynna she said ok and keandre hung upthe phone on her because he said he didn't want to hear it. i was laughing because chynna had tried to call hm back like 4 times and he wouldn't answer then finally he answered and said that she couldn't talk about them boys no more because he didn't want to hear it. so i had to watch myself because when she say stuff i can respond by sayin one of them boys name and then we would start talkinand keandre would hang up again. how funny trust me will be talkin about them tuesday at drama.
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cutie

Listening to: american idol
Feeling: alright
i just came back from church andme and my friend ere just joking because its these two guys she likes one of them is kinda ugly but the other one is fine and boy do i mean fine. well last week we had this play that we went to and both of them were there. she says the only reason i was paying attention to the stage is because this fine ass guy was there. but this trick fronting on her grandma cell phone following him out in the hallway. then during the intermission we had to go get his phone number for this drama production we in and it realy was for a drama production and this child who suppose to be crazy about is standin three feet behind me and then wanna grab the pen because he touched it now aint that funny.
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2 faced

Listening to: let it burn
Feeling: hopeful
why people gotta act like they yo friends one minute and the next they all up in yo face talkin some shit it's really annoying and im sick of it these bitches at my school(Miller Grove) acty like they yo friends for a little while especially when you got something they want and think they may be able to get they hands on then if you say something about them to they face the wanna get all back up in yours sayin you a bitch and you aint nothin but a piece of shit that's fuckin annpying like this bitch she went with this boy who didn't really like her and so when I tell her I hope they last but a lot of people say the aint she gonna write a damn note to me sayin that people tellin her that i wished they would break up and that he should go wit my friend because i said that he was sprung on her first of all thats my opinion and she had been broke up with him for damn near 3 weeks when she gonna write this note to me and he had dumped her because this two timin bitch took off his chain to put on some other boys. so I gave the note to my friend that she was talkin about and she started laughing because we always talk about this type of shit. I can't stand bitches that don't let somebody know how they fill i already told her how i felt but it took her 3 weeks and she had been acting really nice to me.
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DJ

Listening to: go Dj
Feeling: glad
My brother said that he was going to buy me a cell phone and I'm happy me and my friend April have already picked out my ringtones for different people. we were really confused because we didn't know what to give my best guy friend DJ he's the one I wrote about in my last entry about my dreams we were thinking about giving him lovers and friends because he's really cute but he is so short. he's going to the tenth hopefully because sometimes he can be a crackhead. Then we thought about Jojos' song homeboy because I've Known him for so long. Then there was my favorite song grind with me and then there was we belong together we spent nearly 30 minutes trying to decide then finally we came up with Go DJ since his name is Dj now when I think about all the other songs we thought about I kinda laugh since i'm not interested in him in that way i mean really he's my best friend. oh well I'm glad that's over now.
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weird dream

Listening to: grind with me
Feeling: confused
I had the weirdest dream one of my best friends that I have known since I was three. my dream was that I went with him to get this boy off my back. I told him that he could put his arm around me or whatever but he could not kiss me and the ugly boy that I did not like was still bothering me. so my best friend like french kissed me and he said it was to get the other boy off my back, I'm so confused what do you think it means?
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