This is my first public post on here. I normally keep things private because i keep my feeling bottled up. Lately, it's started hurting so much and i can't bottle it up any longer. I feel like i'm about to burst... My feelings are always so mixed. Most of the time i feel really depressed but sometimes i feel really happy. I just don't know how i feel today. My close group of friends don't know this yet but i've been avoiding them. I've just been spinning lies to keep them off my trail. I've been practising for my performances as my excuse. The only reason i've been keeping away from them is because of one girl...i don't think she really likes me. She told my closest friend of the group that she thought i should go get some friends my own age...she knows i have friends my own age and that they all seem to hang in a group with at least one person that hates me. She knew that and still she said it. That always seems to happen to me. Every group i hang with always seme to end up with one person hating me and i end up getting pushed away...Why does friendship have to be so hard? I had a big conversation about this on the way home with my ex-best friend, we're only friends now since she always hangs with a girl who hates me. She doesn't even like the girl who hates me but she stayign in it 'for the sake of her friendship with another friend'. Who cares what she says anymore? Who cares? Nobody cares. I'm all alone. i always have been. Nobody likes 'the boffin'. Nobody wants to be her friend. Nobody wants to be there for her when she needs help. Everybody wants to leave her. Everybody does leave her. Alone.....that's all.....alone. *~Hannah~* *edit* i read all of my old entries and most of other people's old entries. why did you tell chris bout us Thomas? it hurts when people i don't know that well call me bitches ya know...