Well... Um... Reading through this was all kinda pretty depressing. So I decided to update, cos life is awesome! Okay... For those who've read my entries, you'll understand this babble a lot more, for others, its probably not gona make as much sense... I don't miss Benjy anymore. My eyes have been well and truly opened and I know why my family and a lot of my friends didn't like him. Basicly he's a complete prick. I've moved on a lot quicker than I thought I would... Could be considered a bad thing, but I'm finally happy. Within 2 weeks of us splitting up I was dating again, and now, months later, I'm engaged to that guy. He makes life the best thing ever. At last I feel appreciated, and he doesn'y complain that our relationship is a "look after lou-lou show". Well it wouldn't have to be because we look after each other, presumably thats what couples do ya know, so its no chore, as it seemed to be for certain people before. I'm gona go now, got stuff to do an' all. Bye people! xox

Try not to talk, when there's nothing to say. Kept bottled up, we get carried away. Then I fall, then I fall down. Then we fall down. And you know that it makes me feel so ridiculous. A pocket full of posies.. We fall down on the inside; pretty on the outside. Turn it around, can we turn it around? Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now. But it's looking up. A second chance, a much better day. A sunset that just won't go away. Then I fall, then I fall down. We all fall down. And you know that it makes me feel so ridiculous. A pocket full of posies.. We fall down on the inside; pretty on the outside. Turn it around, can we turn it around? Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now. But it's looking up. And you know you said you'd never end up this way. Close the door behind you, i just wanna stay for a while. We all fall down, we all fall down, we all fall down. Down on the inside; pretty on the outside. Turn it around, can we turn it around? Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now. Down on the inside; pretty on the outside. Turn it around, can we turn it around? Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now. But it's looking up, its looking up, its looking up, its looking up, its looking up.

-- Hello. I'm bored shitless. Will someone make something interesting happen? Else I'm just gona go off-riding on my bike in the pouring rain at 3:30 in the morning. If it's raining at 3:30 in the morning that is. Why do emo-kids complain so much? It's kinda annoying. Especially when they always come to you for advice. Well... Here it is... "Stop whining because if you don't I'll make sure you have something to whine about. Wash your face cause its covered in run mascara and you kinda look like you haven't had a bath for three months. And take a sidestep to the left of the door so I can walk out of it and close it behind me so I can't hear you complain." Ah... I feel so much better now. Rock out Baaybay. xox

-- Argh! *sings* I'm addicted to you!!! I think I actually am lol. Been with him every day this week... and I miss him already. So much so I have a headache and I feel quite sick. It's well weird. Kinda feel empty and my heart really hurts. The necklace he gave me today smells like him. You'd think that'd be comforting? It makes me feel worse!! >.< He was gonna try phone me tonight... but he hasn't... I hope he's okay... Maybe he'll phone me tomorrow? I hope so... OMG! I worry soooo much! It's annoying actually. Okay Cupid. You got me. You got me good. I hate you. Why are you such a smartass?! I promised myself I'd never fall in love. That wasn't an invitation to hit me with everything you had!!... Thing is... It's not that bad really. But I'm terrified of getting hurt. It's been over a year now. So far so good. Been a few hiccups. But we got through them. Ilove you so much Ben. And theres nothing I can do to stop me thinking about you. I'm crazy, I'm crazy about you. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Fuscia lipstick, And heels that could kill, You wonder why she tries, It’s her escape, It’s the only way, She can face the world, To be someone else. Is it really you they see? Is it you or fantasy? Hide away, Behind the lace, You’ll be someone else, The real yous traceless. Build a dream, And just a play a role, Make up the words, As you go along. Hope for the best, And keep on smiling, No one will know who you are, No one will know. Such confidence is, Coming from you, They take you for a fool, They have no idea, This image ain’t sincere, And it’s all made up, Right there on the spot. Is it really you they see? Is it you or fantasy? Hide away, Behind the lace, You’ll be someone else, The real yous traceless. Build a dream, And just a play a role, Make up the words, As you go along. Hope for the best, And keep on smiling, No one will know who you are, No one will know.

wowaaaaa... long time no typy here! i miss blogging... but i have nothing to blog abaout really. not that i can be bothered to type anyway lolz. i think luke likes me. oh god thats a scary thought. owch. anyway... im gna go eat toast. CRAZY!!! xoxooxoooxooxox

-- Well today was alright. Tonnes of revison, n' I'm still goin'. ((Haha)) Those who know me knows what that means. xD Anyway. I'm bored, fed up, achey, lost and lonely. So someone give me something to distract me from this 'orrible pain in my back?? Loves! xXx

CARRY ON. So they've locked you up, Standing so silently in the cold. You feel like letting go, Every second you're growing old. They told you its too late now, They kicked you to the ground, They tried to tame your soul now, And you think you're going down. Like anything we were born to die, Like fire put out by rain, But the storm caused the city to burn, Yet the waters kept it tame. When their whispers break you down, Don't let them control your mind, Get back up and take to flight, And leave the suckers behind. You're out on the edge, Has your last minutes just begun? You could end it all now, But it wouldn't be much fun. It's colder than before, But there's fire in your heart, You can hear your soul screaming, You'll refuse to fall apart. They told you its too late now, But you know its not over yet, They try to tame your soul now, But how wilder can you get? Like anything we were born to die, Like fire put out by rain, But the storm caused the city to burn, Yet the waters kept it tame. When their whispers break you down, Don't let them control your mind, Get back up and take to flight, And leave the suckers behind. Like anything we were born to die, Like fire put out by rain, But the storm caused the city to burn, Yet the waters kept it tame. When their whispers break you down, Don't let them control your mind, Get back up and take to flight, And leave the suckers behind. Like anything we were born to die, Like anything we were born to die, We were born to die, Born to die. xXx GIVE UP AND LET GO Have you ever wondered why? Have you ever asked for another reason? Have you considered why I left so soon? I left so I stopped hurting you. It seemed like we took forever, But it was only a matter of years, For something we thought was solid, To break down and end in tears. Friendships are over rated, The close ones end up far away, And when the others are by you, The best ones dissolve and decay. All the pain and hate I’m feelin’, All the lies and anger I got used to, I thought I ought to let you know, I fuckin’ hate you, fuckin’ hate you. In the dark I’m all alone, But it’s better than being with you, It’s so quiet without your crying, Don’t stop trying: to give up and let go. Got fed up with constant failin’, Got annoyed with avoiding questions, I don’t care if you try to Give up and let go. Through all the lies you told me, I saw the truth in your eyes, No point trying to justify your case, Not a chance of compromise. Friendships are over rated, The close ones end up far away, And when the others are by you, The best ones dissolve and decay. All the pain and hate I’m feelin’, All the lies and anger I got used to, I thought I ought to let you know, I fuckin’ hate you, fuckin’ hate you. In the dark I’m all alone, But it’s better than being with you, It’s so quiet without your crying, Don’t stop trying: to give up and let go.

"Bai is out to get you. ((you dont say)) I'm so sorry. ((liar)) I love you. ((liar)) Can you ever forgive me? ((can you go away?)) If I could get it back I'd return your soul.((haha)) I love you more than you know. ((you dont know what it is)) I was never really against you. ((coulda fooled me)) I never knew how much you meant to me untill Bai said what he was going to do to you. ((better late than never?)) Markie hates me, Don't you join him?? ((good for him)) Please. I'm begging you. ((don't make me laugh)) I love you so much Lauren. ((you so dont, curtis)) Let me show you how much. ((let me break your neck?)) You'll never understand the scale of how much, Its completely out of proportion to anything I've ever felt before. ((the only thing you've ever felt is the need to eat sleep and annoy people)) You own my heart. ((you dont fuckin have a heart)) Shaddow ((loser))"

-- Why has she put "Don't Speak" on her blog!? She ain't "loosing" me she fuckin' "pushed me away"! So much craaaaap.

I dunno what to think anymore. Dakky hates me again and i know ive not helped... i should be there, but i never am. i suck. AND! i think i have this little problem thats gona last nearly a year and end up with more than i started with... more than i need... and currently more than i want. im such an idiot. i hope i dont have this problem and im just... paranoid. well, other than that, things are dandy! some girls in my class just asked me if vampires exsist and told me i remind them of "that girl in van helsing". kinda cool i suppose... i was liek.. "i dont think they do no! no! of course they dont... where did you get that silly idea and why ask me!? haha" kinda... ouch lol. cyas! xxx

- Get Your Own

Shoot us!! we've done 2 questions throughout the whole lesson, and then... nothing. bored bored bored bored bored bored omg i wanna go outside!! or... to sleep for once.. yeah.. sound good... sup becky? im very bored really wanna get out this crummy school and go out and get pissed , have some fun yh ooo sound interesting becky... so... do you, by chance, happen to own a very large, yellowish, rather flat cat?? er...no fuck it.. it may not have been flat last time you saw it....?? nope havent seen 1 at all ooo bother... someone needs to pay the funeral bills.. er.. anyway... OMG I COULD FRAME IT! acctually... it'd stink a lil. Soooooooo... er.... so becky. whats that? whats wat ?? that. wat that in front fo us that old thing ? no not that. that. ok wat in the sky yeah in the sky... the thing below us umm..... i have no idea ok. ever seen a house thats been whitewashed black?? no way ok.. nvm.. -Outies all. -lou bye -becky

Look out for what you cannot easily see. Be wary of those who make you think they're stupid. Listen for the voices that warm you of whats to come. Do not brush aside the warnings you may recieve in discreet and seemingly coincidental ways. Remember, someone always knows your fate before it consumes you. Someone may want to save you from its grasp. Those of the shadows are not as evil as they first appear.

defeat is unthinkable. surrender impossible. keep fighting for long enough and it becomes instinct. guard your camp, watch your back, protect your friends - and never question whether theres anything left to fight for.

Did I get it wrong? She just asked me if I "was mad at her or something". Truth: I'm not mad at her. She waved at me this morning and I completely ignored her : I didn't see her. I didn't come to the bench : Something said "Leave her this time, she doesn't need you right now" or words to that very effect. I moved in the music class when she made an effort to sit next to me : There was four of us in there and before I moved I said, "Might aswell spread out".. I didn't mean it to appear like I was avoiding you. To make things worse, I walked past her on the was to Mrs Thompsons office n' hurried off, even when I saw her glance at me.. On the way back to science, I went past her again and muttered "Sorry Dakky." as loud as my voice would let me. Shes not impressed. Every little hope there could've been left to be the slightest of friends, has just been demolished. Just because I listen more to the little voices in my head than I do my heart. Hopefully Mom will be here to pick me up soon.. before I smash up this computer screen. Sounds tempting. Is this the end? -Lou -xo<3ox-

Did I get it wrong? She just asked me if I "was mad at her or something". Truth: I'm not mad at her. She waved at me this morning and I completely ignored her : I didn't see her. I didn't come to the bench : Something said "Leave her this time, she doesn't need you right now" or words to that very effect. I moved in the music class when she made an effort to sit next to me : There was four of us in there and before I moved I said, "Might aswell spread out".. I didn't mean it to appear like I was avoiding you. To make things worse, I walked past her on the was to Mrs Thompsons office n' hurried off, even when I saw her glance at me.. On the way back to science, I went past her again and muttered "Sorry Dakky." as loud as my voice would let me. Shes not impressed. Every little hope there could've been left to be the slightest of friends, has just been demolished. Just because I listen more to the little voices in my head than I do my heart. Hopefully Mom will be here to pick me up soon.. before I smash up this computer screen. Sounds tempting. Is this the end? -Lou -xo<3ox-

I feel weird. I won't go into too much detail.. but some of my close friends might know what I mean. I was ill a few days ago, n' my eyes went grey n orange ever since then I've been gettin horrible headaches n seeing things. I'm convinced the "things" are all in my head though... I don't wanna believe they aint. I keep messing things up for people aswell. Like the other day, I walked past a priest helping to change a tyre for someone, it musta been his son or summing. When i walked back, he'd managed it, and was smiling at it proudly, I smile at it too, just as he looked at me. The the top of the tyre kinda ripped, well, not quite ripped, but.. I can't explain it, and all the air came out. I looked at him in suprise.. his eyes fixed with mine n' i've never seen so much fear in someone. I swear he was gonna die, but I forced my self to look away, n' he ran back into the vicarage. Thats the freakest thing thats happend so far... but there was more. What the fuck aye? Whats goin' on...?? ='( -xox-

-- 'Tis warm in here. I DONT WANNA GO HOME! I love living with my cousin!! She rocks. Still miss Dakky. Daniel has a huge crush on me. Scary much. Goin to meet Jack morra. Should be kewl. *~I Luff Matt~* -xox-

-- Dude. I'm sooo bored! Spaz was spose to come round today. So, I haven't really bothered to get ready, cause when she says something, she usually means the opposite. I miss Dakky.... like.... LOOOOOOAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSS. Might be painting my new house next week!!! AND Bump is due in 8 weeks. Thats awesome... Hehe... Oh yeah... If anyones interesteed in buying dragon art... add me on msn or email me or summing... poni@rock.com Laters y'all. And remember... "Hold up, Wait a minute, Put a lil' love in it!!" Out. -xox-