The beach yesterday was fun. Like really, really fun. But now I'm so confused... god damnit. Here. I'll start at the beginning. So Patrick, his grandma, her boyfriend and Patrick's sister Kathryn (KAT) came and picked me up an hour late. I had to sit in between Patrick and Kat and it was weird. Like, Patrick and Kat are like polar opposites... Theres Patrick, hes the most sensitive and nice and accepting guy. And he's totally open to drugs and stuff (like he wouldnt rat you out, but hes only smoked like once in his life) and hes in love with bands like Nirvana and looks like he could be Kurt Cobain's brother. Then there's Kat, who is the most outgoing and psychotic and catty and mean girl. She's the kind who parties and does exstacy every weekend and has done cocaine and acid before. She loves the Rob Zombie and the Mindless Self Indulgence and she dresses sort of like a punk-rock hooker. So it was really fuckin weird. Me and Pat were talking and stuff but then Kat would tap me and like... show me the side bit of her thong or let me see her little baggie of pot when I thought for sure the old people saw us. But they never did. So she was taunting me. We left and went to lunch. She was sitting across from me and she kept sorta kicking me under the table and grinning. The entire time. It wasnt like savag kicking but it was enough for me to look at her and try to will her to stop with my eyes to which she would only grin maliciously. Then we all walked on the beach. Me and Pat tried to get ahead away from her. But she caught up and now that we were away from the old people she could do and say what she pleased. So we all started smoking (we werent just walking and smoking, we found a nice bush first.) And Patrick even took a hit or two. When I was all calmed down I said "why were you kicking me?" And Kat said "because you're a little hottie" And I dont know if she was kidding or serious but I didnt ask that question again. So then we left and went back to Patrick and Kat's house and their grandparents left us there. No one was home so naturally we took a walk to the park and smoked another bowl and Kat's cigarettes. Patrick does smoke cigarettes though, which is weird. We trooped home and watched Stewie Griffen the Untold Story (that they got for Christmas) but Pat kept having to leave because his dad needed help with something in the garage. and I was sitting by Kat... and she would like, scoot her foot over on top of mine and rub her leg on mine. and she would drape her arm over my back and stroke it aimlessly. and when the movie ended she asked me what my number was because she didnt want Patrick to know she was calling me and I gave it to her. I dont know what I was / am thinking. I have a girlfriend. Nora. Who I thought up until yesterday that was my one and only and that I loved and would love forever. But Kat called me and we talked for three hours straight and I was just laughing the whole time. Because everything was so funny and I felt so happy and I think I like Kat better then Nora. And I dont know whats happening. Or whats going to happen next. And I'm so confused. I mean, Nora's only been gone for what TWO DAYS? I mean god, what the fuck is wrong with me? I love Nora! I used to! I dont fucking know... fuck. But Nora hasnt even bothered to call me yet. I have to talk to Ronny really bad... and I want a cigarette, I want 20, whole damn pack thats what I want. And then I want Kat to disappear and yesterday would have never happened. Arg......... Donny P.S. I love Nora? =(