So ya im done school until i go back for my applied math 30 in september...its kind of sad because i have graduated:( My mom kinda ruined the family dance cause she bitched about me not dancing with her boyfriend on the father and daughter dance...i danced with my brother cause hes the closest to my daddy. I wish he was still alive to see me graduate. I miss him so much and it gets really hard lot of the times. My friend ash is gettin herself moved in...and i dont know if its a good thing or not...my brother lives with me also and well she is goin out with him...you also have to understand she is 16...so things are slightly complicated but i hope everything works out!! But ya my summer is going to be full of me wkrin alot...i dont know if im excited about that but i am excited that im turning 18 in 12 more days. I cant believe im going to be 18, scary...lol. But have to go to wrk now so see ya later.

Well i have just realized this is goin to be my last 2 months of highschool and then Im gone...its so depressing. Im going to miss my friends so much and im so afraid that Im going to lose them and i dont want to lose them. They mean so much to me and it would hurt so much if i ever lost contact with them. I know Im only going to be half an hour away from them but they are still going to be in school and being busy with there school work...I just dont know wut im going to do...Definitly with my girl ashley...our friendship means everything to me and if we ever lost contact and stop being friends, i dont know wut i would do...We are so much alike but yet different, its like we complete each other in a weird way. We really understand each other and I know that we arent as close as i wish we were but still we have this huge connection, or so I think we do. I just wish she could trust me more, and open up to me more, Im not going to judge her and she thinks i will. I am excited to have my own house...but it wont be the same without my friends. But i have to jet so I will talk to ya soon!! I will never say goodbye to my friends cause they will always be in my heart and mind...Love you all. LOVE YOU ASHLEY!!! YOU CAN TRUST ME AND I WONT JUDGE YOU!!

So ya...im at school and i feel like doin nothing today. Im supposed to be doin math but meh. So ya my girl is gone and i miss her a whole bunches but on the bright side she is comin home on Friday! YAY! My boy friend left yesterday to go work, which kind of sucks but is also good cause we need the money. So i have no idea how im goin to keep myself occupied for the next few days but meh i will find something to do. But ya i should jet before my teacher comes and checks up on me! I hate when teachers take the time to make sure ur doin ur work but meh what can ya do. but ya anyways talk to ya later.

I wish could select a mood for this but I cant...Im so blah and confused but i feel happy at times 2. Well this whole house hunting thing is really gettin to me, terry my bf wants me to move to acme but this place he wants me to live in...well its so small and i just dont like it and i dont think i would be happy living there! I just so...grr and confused and i dont even know what to say about it! My grad is also comin up and I am excited about it but then I still have so much to do to be ready for it and I want my day to be perfect! Work is also drivin me nuts, It is actually kind of hard to live on your own while goin to school during the day and then workin at night and not being able to get to bed until like 11, 12 at night. But thats the way BPs is, you work late and get home late. I also dont feel that my boyfriend and I are communicating very well...I love him so much but I never feel that he shows his love for me, I know he does but I want him to do sweet romantic things for me out of no where and he never does and he never has...I just dont know how to get him to do that for me...im just so frickin tired, stressed and confused and i dont know how to deal with all of these emotions I'm gettin! well im out of here...

So ya my mom has been so damn annoying for the past like forever...i dont even live with her and she is still driving me up the wall. For one thing she and her boyfriend dont even know how to be landlords...i dont care if im her daughter she should know that she should be a good landlord. When the hot water tank is broken you come fix it like what the hell!! Now she is being a bitch because my boyfriend and i have invited someone else to live with us and my mom thinks she can tell me that he cant live there cause she doesnt know him!! Well Im sorry...cause he isnt going anywhere. I pay the damn rent so she has no fuckin say in my opinion. Believe me i am a happy out going person but my mother gets under my nerves!! On a happy note I have my grad dress and its drop dead gorgeous and i cant wait to get all dressed up! My grad class is so slow with gettin things organized, I want to get all the decorations ordered and get everything ready for grad but no one else really cares so ya...that really sucks. I know that my grad day will be great but still I like to be organized and well not all my grad class is like that but what can ya do but shrug it off. But I got to jet but I hope to be on soon.

I have been getting so annoyed lately over the gayest things and I dont even know why. The first thing that bothers me the most of the day is my friend Kaleigh, I luv her to death but she gets in such bitchy moods and takes everything to serious and it drives me nuts. She treats everyone like crap when she gets in that mood too. I also dont think she realizes how much her mom really does for her she really needs to open her eyes sometimes...I feel bad bitching about her behind her back but I think she kind of already knows that I hate her bitchyness. Another thing that really pissed me off is that I found out that Cacey a grade sevener, I think, Murdered a cat. He stabbed it, hung it by its hine leg by stabbing a stick to it and hanging it off a tree, and then he burnt the cat. Like what the FUCK is wrong with that fucking child...That just pisses me right off. That is so not right and I just want to beat the shit out of that kid! Some people are not right in the head!!!!!!

What the hell...everyday there is always someone breaking up with someone its only natural but holy shit look at all the people that get hurt. Then your stuck in the middle and who knows what to do then excpet try to sit back and listen and give advice. It also is pretty bad when I am more one her side than his...I love my girl and I got her back...she needs a guy that wont screw her over in the end. Why in the hell does shit like this always happen...then here is my guy friend doing the stupid shit cause she broke up with him...shit happens and life moves on doesnt he know that by now. Some people need to look at the bright side even though that may be hard at times...I just hope that my girl knows that I got her back and that I luv her!

im sitting here... on the floor... next to Ashley. And she is my robot slave whom i makeing make my diary pritty. i am now feeling her pants that is curently on her legs.... ,.... oh baby. anyways i must be going now... i have to go Jam.... oooo her feet! damnnnnn child. <3