well there has been along going on in my life since i last wrote, well i have a new b/f he lives in VA though but he's the sweetiest thing ever. I really care about him. Well my best frined in postville has canser and john's mom is fighting it. Also my grandmother has canser. And my mom just went for the test the other day. well i'm hoping everything on that end is good. Though i'm also feeling not good enough but i hope that passes...on a good note i get to go home in 4 days. and i'm going to be spending time with my baby, also i going to see ashley...on thursday and friday, so it all should be fun. well i need to get going and now i know that this site isn't bloked i'll make sure i update more often.

it's sad how things turn out, apperently my ex is now dating some girl named steph which if you ask me makes no sense, since he asked my mom for permission to marry me, and the fact that he always told me that it would take him longer to get over me than it would me to get over him. i guess and in a way i'm hoping that he's just trying to find out if i'm the one....i don't know....who knows anymore

why do i love you why do i care i seem to love you uncondisonally and i don't know why every time i see you with her it just makes me want to cry i know that you still love me i know that you still care but why is that you don't seem to know i'm even standing there i want to hold you i want your touch i want to be the one to love you so much i want back in your life to be the one to love you so why do i care so much as it seems our past is comming back we will be together in our dreams and even in our hearts time if of the essence and we both know this we just got to find out if we are right for each other to kiss to be eachothers till the end of time love and cherish till death do us part we will share that bond and care till the setting sun does pass but only we will be able to see the fading of night into our everlasing sunrise

everything right now is so fucked up, i hate to say it that way but really it is. I love my ex to peices, i wish that i didn't b/c he is deffently my weekness, and i would die for that boy. and i find out that he likes another girl well i really can't get mad b/c we are not together and honestly i'm not mad just hurt.

Well alot of suff has happend since i have last been on here and i'm going to make it my effort to keep it updated more but i'm really busy so it's hard, Well me and my ex broke up a while ago, and things since then have been so crazy. I realy don't know where we stand currently, but who knows in the end i know he will want me back. lol But really i know he will. The thing is i think i'm slowing moving trying to give myself time to heal. no promises though. I stuck in the middle of some crazy life, as i know it spinning in all directions. I'll find my way out soon. Well last saturday i meet this boy back from like 6th grade back then we hated each other, but now we are really cool i don't know what happend. I guess we both changed alot. smiles but well i really like him and with all of that said i don't know how he really feels about me when i saw him at the fair he seemed into me but now b/c of the whole distance thing well i don't know. Hopefully things will work out for the best. -love you my only place for thought sondra

Well for any one who has been follwing my life, to set the record sright i never cheated on anyone, and right now i'm feeling not so broken. As for the whole thing i just like to play it as though it never happend. In a way i regret almost evey thing that has ever happend between the two of us. And i'm complely numb to the how thing. I'm feeling fine b/c i'm happy with my current boyfriend, and going to his house this week. Things are pretty dandy, and as for the whole thing i still have sour feelings and a little mix of i'm not readdy to talk to the person yet. Anyways enough about my life. *Poof* wonder woman is off again

watching the rain fall form the tears that cover my eyes as you walk away form me a deep sigh, as i turn closing my eyes i think........ of all the memories that we have; that are now lost in abyss of hopelessness i look back at you one more time hoping that you'll be looking at me staring at your back another tear falls down my face it's getting hard to breath i turn again and watch you walk away the rain starts to poor i stand soaked; crying my love has gone away the world has finally won i stare at the ground and think about what i have done things i said, the things i didn't mean the things that hurt, things that made you cry that i never ment to say i never wanted it to end we never liked to fight

Maybe I shouldn't lie, to anyone; but my self. I say I don't love him, I know I said goodbye. But eveything about him just makes me want to cry. Just to think about him and everything he did. What he's all about, everything seemed so adlived. The faith we had it's now all gone. Watching him it makes me cry, now im all alone. Thinking of him with someone else eat's away at me inside. The thought of his arms, the thought of his touch his loving caress. On someone other than me I don't think I could bear to see. He's all I want, and now it's gone to a place I can't seem to be.

well today i just made this diary so i don't have a whole lot to say other than i know it looks exactly like my other one just a different name that is b/c it is i like the look of the other one so i just though i would move it. i needed a different username though. well love you all MUAH later