It seems like my header pic is getting more attention than I am. I hope everyone reads this, because it is from the heart. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I don’t think I’ve accomplished anything. My tears leave my eyes like so many sweat drops in Hell… BUT I HAVEN’T ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING! When I see into Fate’s eyes, I only realize that WE HAVE NO FUTURE! That I can’t see into what I desire. So I’m sitting alone in the corner filled with the poetic buzzwords: Solitude Darkness Emptiness Sadness Suicide… BUT I AM NOT F*CKING CRINGING! The mirror seems only to reflect that I am some dysfunctional care bear; meant only to bring pain onto those I love. Meant only to drive the pen straight through the hearts of those who have touched me and rip out any compassion! I see the filth of humanity dripping over our souls and for some Godd*mn reason I LOVE IT! I jump for joy at the bleakness… And my wrists are always bleeding. Not because I want to die, but because the pain makes me feel real! The pain reminds me that this is not some twisted nightmare wrapped around the coils of my mind, sucking the impulse of hope. It seems to be screaming in my ear, “YOU ARE ALIVE! YOU ARE REAL!” And that causes me true pain… But the mirrors seems to reflect that I lost something beautiful… That everyone has lost something beautiful. AND IT MAKES US F*CKING UGLY INSIDE! And like the coarse sand that irritated my eyes, it fell through my fingers! I had something BEAUTIFUL and it fell through my fingers! So I am the only left who believes that a person breathes in death when they are born. The only one who believes that once a baby is free from the womb, it hears the coldest sound of insects singing… AND IT LAUGHS! It laughs because it’s alive for those few moments. It chortles and looks into it’s mothers eyes of beauty that tells the child it will not last forever and the baby KNOWS of its mortality! It knows and it cries… I cry… Not because the birth was painful to the mother, but because it breathed in life and death came with it. It had lost something beautiful…I lost something beautiful… So the child grows up and he writes. Not because he wants attention, not because he believes what he writes, but because he sees his true reflection in the metal of the pen tip. AND HE WRITES LIKE THERE IS A F*CKING ESCAPE! He writes frantically! He writes to find the dead-end that he knows exists! The dead-end he created when he breathed life! And he burrows into the wall and it bleeds! The read covers him from Head To Toe But the kid continues to burrow, just to know that there is no other side! He is screaming inside… He is screaming to no end because he knows no matter what he does, the wall is always there and that no matter what he thinks he has, HE LOST SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL! Then the air is filled with the smoke of his own self-worth…the kid is dying from the inside out. He doesn’t stop it… he doesn’t run. He just screams inside. AND HE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING! He doesn’t care that the wall was never there or that the red was only a dream, because inside, the mirror is screaming: “YOU LOST SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL!” Because inside, the mirror is showing nothing and leaking black… And it poisons the kid… His veins runs black and his eyes blur out and he SCREAMS HIS EMOTIONS! He screams until the wall shatter and disappears! He screams when he sees the black hole behind it! HE SCREAMS AND HE CRIES… I cry… And the mirror and laughs and shows nothing… the kid is sucked in and consumed… just to die to get something beautiful… “He had something beautiful all along,” says the mirror…and the kid shatters into a million shards… …Something beautiful…