So life has been good and bad. there has been much happiness and much sorrow during the past few days. Mainly because of some things on my mind that I just want to push out because they're too horrible to think of. Maybe I was meant for such torture; to have and to love, but to never really care. Kind of sad, really. One day, I'll find the meaning in it all, but for now all that was ever me is not me and all that is going to be me just seems too far away... WHY AM I SO IMPERFECT??!?!?!?!?!?! New Poem: The rosebush is burning They thrust their hands in but no one's flaming And it's haunting me It's so hard to breathe Ash comes from flawless ones I fear them as I hear them calling me My soul makes the fire scorn I fear them as I feel them taking me And my soul As the angels mourn Take me to heaven my sins are calling me Tracing the steps turned blck Knowing that I've never gone to climb them Shadows of glory Taking my pain again Tracing the steps turned black Dreaming of my own forgotten heaven They're calling it Eden I've been blessed But no one's saving It's hard to believe When it's so hard to see Perfection in broken souls I fear them as I hear them calling me For my soul, the fires burn I fear them as I feel them shunning me From the sky As the angels turn! Take me to heaven my sins are calling me Tracing the steps turned blck Knowing that I've never gone to climb them Shadows of glory Taking my pain again Tracing the steps turned black Dreaming of my own forgotten heaven