Gone.. what am i.. dust, figures, thoughts... oh so lost.. what should i be... what am i to become... do i really love myself.. why does it hurt so to think of the past and the pain from it.....like i dont think i was that bad of a kid to deserve a beating.... every night. why. and just me not stacy just me... only me. till 1st grade i had release. terry. what a character. true man. to his word. hard working. no bullshit. i can adhere to that. i respected him, i still doo a lot. he made things different. my mother had finally loosened those nerves she could never stop tightening from worry, anxiety and just pure emotional/physical abuse. now...its different. im my own man. no i still havent stood up to expectations but i am still me and i am more prodded to do what "i must".