In a plate of peas our days are hung on the coat hook permanent enough for tomorrow and sleep In a fine line of vodka my evening is too awkward for these walls and quiet ice mountain breath deliberate footsteps are the only things that finally prepare me for tomorrow and sleep

I'm heading home, and it feels like a year since. Maybe I'll move to Montreal Maybe I'll play in a band, and walk and talk like I'm full of shit. Rain shot my plans in the chest today. And I'm just the man to accept a fate right now - and what a waste. I could step out for some cigarettes I could plan to shake and ring the bells that keep me awake.

I just saw a picture of myself in the paper, and I was struck by how long it took me to recognize myself... Then I wanted to tell my mom.

I picked four young daisies today, and when I realized I had no one to give them to. I threw them away. It's not that I was saddened, per se. That's just what happend, today.

There it is.

Oh, and she left. Said I didn't have to wait. well of course I didn't plan on it, but having her say it killed me. And I don't think I'll care for it in the fall.

For some reason I can't get my new background to work. But if it does eventually work and you guess who it is, well...I'll be sure to hold you in high regard for one. And that's probably it, but he's my hero. Besides that, I'm getting drunk on Canada Day. Not really because it's Canada Day, more so because it's friday, and I got paid for not working today. Hopefully we get some pot, and go to a good party. P.S.-If you're sensing a lack of enthusiasm here, you are right on the money. I just feel like I'm going through the motions.

Well I'll be damned if all that luck wishing didn't make things turn out alright. I've got beautiful girls calling me now. And what's more, they call of their own free will. honest. cross my heart and hope to die. Here's something, i started a job on last thursday that goes from 9pm-5:30am. It is now tuesday, 8:49pm. I'm not going, they can cram that mindless garbage right up their asses!

Hot Dang!!! Things are lookin' up, things are loo-kin' UP! Wish me luck folks.

I was riding high for a few days there, pretty good streak. Such is not quite the case right now. Just low. Usually I get back up there sometime in the evening. I guess we'll see.

Okay, so if you don't like french or the french or french salad dressing for that matter, then the previous entry says: God damnit, she is beautiful, all that beauty, her eyes render me useless, melted hearts, and something about my thoughts falling into a trap. Or something like that, I'm just trying to remember, and anyway, now it just sounds fucked. So, I bet you're wondering what you do when you decide that someone you care about doesn't give a shit about you, am I right or am I right or am I right, right, right, right*. (if you have never seen 'Groundhog Day', please do so, Bill Murry is stellar). Anyway, what you do is get a haircut, plain and simple. Say goodbye to the long curly locks (does that even sound attractive to anyone?) and prove to yourself that your life weaves and bobs with finesse, and to your own accord at that, because when that happens you believe yourself capable, and when you feel capable, you feel aloof and beautiful. Well, that's what I'm aiming for anyway. *However, this quote is not of Bill Murry,(or is it Murray?), but of an obnoxious character that he eventually learns to avoid. I also now realize that it also seems abnoxious here, but it popped into my head and there's nothing to do about it.

Oh lovely lovely Lord. I can't handle talking to this girl. I quiver, right now, I'm shaking -aftermath-, sure I'm really hungry too, mais quand meme... Maudit, qu'elle est belle. Tout ce beaute, les yeux m'a rendu faible, ont fondu les coeurs, mes penses sont tombes dans un piege. I dont even care that I can't do accents right now.

If I had a computer where I could sit and goof around on for a while I would make this all look much cheerier(is that right, cheerier?)much more cheery maybe? ahh... just imagine yourself under the sun, and, i don't know, someones bringing you Margarita or something. There, see, you're having fun.

It's better to look really cool than to be warm in winter, apparently.

So...I like bowling.

one year, i've been waiting to see my name for a long time. vain.

Tried to put a picture here, can't remember how to do that anymore. goodnight.

Here goes... 's about minus forty degrees tonight. Nice to see old friends again. again... So it goes, a Merry Christmas to all, and if not, then Happy Holidays, or whatever you celebrate. Does it really matter? I got distracted, my friends are making fun of one of my flings...so she wasn't pretty! In fact, yeah, doesn't matter. Ughh, no regrets, hardly, regret keeps me going. I better go before I embaress myself.

I'm going to see The Sadies perform tomorrow evening. Probably the best thing that will happen for a while. It's great because they make great music, and are actually very talented, unlike the majority of shitty bands and "dj's" that I have to put up with. Soo tired of dj's. Some kid goes and buys a fucking turntable, raids his parents record collection, and all of the sudden he's on the bill for saturday night at your favorite bar.

It is finally hot here. Smalltown summer And all the people i would regret making love to