Everyone should listen to: Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum. And follow it up with some underwear-dance-party. I am so happy to be back in Seattle, it felt surreal last night. Which is probably why when the quart of gin was brought out...I pounced. Word from the morning after: don't double fist red wine and gin. Another word from the morning after: Don't have a conversation with your most recent ex as to why you terminated the relationship...after drinking your body weight in alcohol. Oh...but DO give yourself a drunk haircut. I gave myself some Betty Page bangs and hacked my hair a bit shorter. Tell me what you think.

...but this was just too good of an opportunity to pass by. So some guy I didn't know added me on Facebook (a college networking site.) I politely told him I only added personal, real-life friends on this site, and not frat boys from Indiana. His response was this: a girlfriend survey. Along with some other personal information...like: "I listen to Linkin Park." "I work at an Abercrombie." "I think bad girls are hawt." So these were my answers on the girlfriend survey: BASICS: Name: Kayla "Godzilla" Age: 20 Location: The Ring of Fire, Seattle Height: Hella short. Hair: Reddish Eyes: Bluish Piercings/tattoos: 5 and 5 Favorite Shirt: It says CUNT WARRIOR and has a viking helmet on it. OTHER: 1. Where would we go on dates?: The back of my car. 3. Do you drink/smoke??: Excessively 4. Do you like the beach?: Only when destroying evidence 5. If so...would you go with me late at night?: If I was hiding your body, probably. 6. Do you like movies?: PREDATOR 7. If so would you stay up and watch them with me all night?: Only if I could act out scenes on you. Like skinning you alive, and such. 8. If you were to take me out to a movie would we watch the movie?: Maybe if I got tired of smacking you around, and I was on my period an shit. 9. If not what would we be doing?: Jigsaw puzzles. 10. Do you play an instrument?: This would be an appropriate time to say, "Your mom." 12. Would you call me right after we saw each other to make sure I made it home alright?: Bitch, you never go home once you start dating me. In fact, I burn your home down. 14. Favorite body part on a gurl/guy?: Yo face. 17. Would you give me kisses just because?: Boy, you should have guess that I don't play like that. What Would You do if... I cried: Laugh. I said I liked you: Poop on something valuable in your house. I kissed you: Smack ya. I wanted to have sex with you: Tell you I wanted a turkey sandwich. I touched your ass: Cut off one hand. I got dumped: I'd probably do one of your friends. What Do You Think Of My... Personality: You are only a pretty blow job to me, son. Eyes: Should be respectfully on the ground. Face: Should be roughly the size of my hand. Hair: You will be shaved like Moby. Clothes: I will give you a loincloth, and flip flops. And you will dance for me. Would You... make me wake up at 4am to buy you something: Yeah, like Vagisil. Keep a secret if I told you one: I doubt I'd allow you to talk much. Hold my hand: Never Love me: Most likely not. Makeout with me: Only if I was bored. Hold me in times of need: I don't hold, I crush. ask me out: I don't ask, I force. Date me: No. Makeout with me whenever you had the chance: If I had free time, I'd most likely be watching re-runs of Flavor Flav, masturbating, drinking a 40, sitting around in my underwear, and crank Megadeath. Having your tongue in my mouth is not a priority of mine. Hold me and make my problems go away: Look above. W0ULD Y0U... [ ] go out with me? [ ] give me your number? [ ] kiss me? [ ] let me kiss you? [ ] make love to me? [ ] take a shower with me? [ ] be my gf? [ ] hug me? [ ] would you let me sleep in your bed if i didn't have one? [ ] sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone? [ ] re-post this for me to answer your questions? [X] let me give you a piggyback ride? D0 Y0U... [ ] think im cute? [ ] want to kiss me? [ ] want to cuddle wit me? [ ] want to hook up with me? [ ] want to sit around with me all day? [ ] hate me? [ ] wanna be with me forever? [ ] want to be with me right now? [ ] love me? ARE WE... [ ] aquintences? [ ] friends? [ ] in a relationship? [ ] gonna have kids? [ ] gonna get married someday? AM i... [X] bangable? [ ] cute? [ ] funny? [ ] rad? [ ] intersting to talk to? [ ] pretty? [ ] gorgeous? [ ] beautiful? [ ] fun to be around? [ ] cool? [ ] fun overall? [ ] sweet? [ ] amazing? [ ] great? HAVE Y0U EVER... [ ] thought about me? [ ] thought there might be an "us"? [ ] thought about hookin up with me? [ ] found yourself wanting to kiss me? [ ] wished i were there? So far he hasn't responded...and just when I thought I found my dream man.

And this is why insomnia is dangerous - not because losing sleep would negatively affect my health...but because it leads me to finding journal sites and creating one. Actually, my first SITDiary was five years ago. I was 15, and rambunctious. I was also looking for trouble, and to simultaneously get me out of it. The only thing I think I trully discussed was inane bullshit. But that's how it goes when you're 15: Your life is full of pulsating bullshit. So...you start looking forward to growing up, and escaping the years you spent cocooning yourself in it. But it never is quite that easy, is it? The euphoria of being 18 leaves quickly. In fact, it probably only lasts a few months. The idea that now you are free. Now your life begins. Everything before that moment was trivial and non-constructive towards building a bigger and brighter future. Reality hits. Life is not this grandiose pleasure box. Life is also not (for most) a torturing cell of angst. In fact, life is just sort of there. Just middle of the road; sometimes bad, sometimes good. So then life becomes this search of exciting new things to spice up the mediocre - this can also be called denial. Drugs, booze, cigs, and sex then usually enters the equation. And it's wonderful. It's everything you ever wanted it to be, because you can be anyone you want to be on it. And that's where I've been for over a year. Strung out, coming down, drunk, fucked, fucking, and generally smelling like an ashtray. Now I realize that I'm fucking 20. I also realize that I don't know shit. While I may not be willing to give up Marb 100s... Or Jameson/RedStripe/JackDaniels... Or the lovely young men and women who crawl in between my sheets... And I most definitely cannot pass up ganja... I don't have to be a fucking idiot about it. This better not be a sign of maturity. Or I'm going to have to buy that fucking kiddy pool I've had my eyes on.