...but this was just too good of an opportunity to pass by. So some guy I didn't know added me on Facebook (a college networking site.) I politely told him I only added personal, real-life friends on this site, and not frat boys from Indiana. His response was this: a girlfriend survey. Along with some other personal information...like: "I listen to Linkin Park." "I work at an Abercrombie." "I think bad girls are hawt." So these were my answers on the girlfriend survey: BASICS: Name: Kayla "Godzilla" Age: 20 Location: The Ring of Fire, Seattle Height: Hella short. Hair: Reddish Eyes: Bluish Piercings/tattoos: 5 and 5 Favorite Shirt: It says CUNT WARRIOR and has a viking helmet on it. OTHER: 1. Where would we go on dates?: The back of my car. 3. Do you drink/smoke??: Excessively 4. Do you like the beach?: Only when destroying evidence 5. If so...would you go with me late at night?: If I was hiding your body, probably. 6. Do you like movies?: PREDATOR 7. If so would you stay up and watch them with me all night?: Only if I could act out scenes on you. Like skinning you alive, and such. 8. If you were to take me out to a movie would we watch the movie?: Maybe if I got tired of smacking you around, and I was on my period an shit. 9. If not what would we be doing?: Jigsaw puzzles. 10. Do you play an instrument?: This would be an appropriate time to say, "Your mom." 12. Would you call me right after we saw each other to make sure I made it home alright?: Bitch, you never go home once you start dating me. In fact, I burn your home down. 14. Favorite body part on a gurl/guy?: Yo face. 17. Would you give me kisses just because?: Boy, you should have guess that I don't play like that. What Would You do if... I cried: Laugh. I said I liked you: Poop on something valuable in your house. I kissed you: Smack ya. I wanted to have sex with you: Tell you I wanted a turkey sandwich. I touched your ass: Cut off one hand. I got dumped: I'd probably do one of your friends. What Do You Think Of My... Personality: You are only a pretty blow job to me, son. Eyes: Should be respectfully on the ground. Face: Should be roughly the size of my hand. Hair: You will be shaved like Moby. Clothes: I will give you a loincloth, and flip flops. And you will dance for me. Would You... make me wake up at 4am to buy you something: Yeah, like Vagisil. Keep a secret if I told you one: I doubt I'd allow you to talk much. Hold my hand: Never Love me: Most likely not. Makeout with me: Only if I was bored. Hold me in times of need: I don't hold, I crush. ask me out: I don't ask, I force. Date me: No. Makeout with me whenever you had the chance: If I had free time, I'd most likely be watching re-runs of Flavor Flav, masturbating, drinking a 40, sitting around in my underwear, and crank Megadeath. Having your tongue in my mouth is not a priority of mine. Hold me and make my problems go away: Look above. W0ULD Y0U... [ ] go out with me? [ ] give me your number? [ ] kiss me? [ ] let me kiss you? [ ] make love to me? [ ] take a shower with me? [ ] be my gf? [ ] hug me? [ ] would you let me sleep in your bed if i didn't have one? [ ] sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone? [ ] re-post this for me to answer your questions? [X] let me give you a piggyback ride? D0 Y0U... [ ] think im cute? [ ] want to kiss me? [ ] want to cuddle wit me? [ ] want to hook up with me? [ ] want to sit around with me all day? [ ] hate me? [ ] wanna be with me forever? [ ] want to be with me right now? [ ] love me? ARE WE... [ ] aquintences? [ ] friends? [ ] in a relationship? [ ] gonna have kids? [ ] gonna get married someday? AM i... [X] bangable? [ ] cute? [ ] funny? [ ] rad? [ ] intersting to talk to? [ ] pretty? [ ] gorgeous? [ ] beautiful? [ ] fun to be around? [ ] cool? [ ] fun overall? [ ] sweet? [ ] amazing? [ ] great? HAVE Y0U EVER... [ ] thought about me? [ ] thought there might be an "us"? [ ] thought about hookin up with me? [ ] found yourself wanting to kiss me? [ ] wished i were there? So far he hasn't responded...and just when I thought I found my dream man.