MY SPANISH SPEAKING EXAM IS OVER AND I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK AT A ROLLING DONUT WHAT I GOT IN IT CUS ITS OVER!! /caps Anywho.... I'm sick. I did my spanish exam while I was sick. Coughed most of the way through the tape. Missed half my lines. Probably killed my Spanish Teacher with this infernal cold. /rant Anywho... ... ... ... ... nope, thats all I can think of just now... ... ... ...off to get some sleep... ...

Well, this weekend could have gone a lot worst I guess. I was at my dads, sure, but even then, the freeze booze, computer to myself (because its so shite, I'm the only one who has the patience to sit here and use it.) I got to use my MSN account finally, instead of bastard Windows Messenger! And now, I have 18 hours untill I got to go back to school :"( AND I STILL GOT THAT FUCKING ART HOMEWORK TO DO! I better get started....

OMG, the frickin site let me log on! I don't believe it! heh. Anyways, Birthday was good, had all my close friends there, well, most of them I think. Got a big, fuck off cake which I thought would feed Ethiopia for a month or 2 at least. But my relatives and friends and dog saw that the poor ethiopians starve! How mean ;) Anyway, the night... Got to wear my new leather jacket which I got from my Mum, and 80quid so far (haven't been to my Dad's yet, so could be more) some Diesel spray, Shaun Of the Dead (Hilarious!) some coloured pencils and a cool necklace thing. Hitch was a good movie, very funny. Where he knocks her of the Jet ski, ha! Real smooth... Then about half an hour waiting for a table at Papa Luigi's (Great Italian restaurant), which infact was not to bad considering. Then about a 2-3 hour meal, even though we didnt eat very much, the total bill >> 58 pounds, well, just over. Jo... You missed quite a great night, but I know you would have been there if you coulda ;) Anyway, what else.... Nope thats all folks. :)

Very tired so im gonna chat some crap for a while :) Generations.... Much can be learned from past Generations.... For past generations make history... They become history themselves... The past may already have been written... but the future... Yes, the future.... The future awaits a new Generation... and so on and so forth.... when i get tired i get pretty deep and creative :)

My Life in a nutshell: Boring (school) Tiring (lack of sleep) Aggravating (brothers and shit like that) then there is: Boring, Tiring, AND Aggravating (Work) I am feeling really crappy at this point in time as you may have guessed already, which is strange cause I was paid today aswell (thats a good thing...)

Double-you Tea Efff?!

One cold day, sometime in December I think it was, I walked a different way than usual to get home from work. I saw a girl, around 18 years old I think, sitting on a bench overlooking the sea. She wasn't doing anything. Just watching the sea, seemingly motionless. The next day, I walked the same way I had yesterday, and again, I saw the girl, still just sitting there, watching. On the third day, again I saw the girl. I sat on the bench next to her and asked: "Are you alright?" She replied simply: "Yes, I'm just waiting." She explained her story to me........ It seems she met someone over an Internet chat room, and they had gotten to know each other, over time, they exchanged phone numbers. Called each other every night, didn't matter if they had anything to say or not... just to hear the others voice was enough. They arranged to meet up one time, he came to her house for her birthday. He cooked a romantic meal for them, and over dinner, he told her he loved her. She addmitted that she felt the same. He rented a flat, near to where she lived.. He got a new job, and brought his motorbike from home so he didn't have to use the complex transport system they had here. He promised that he would take her to one of his favourite spots, every night, and to show her how beautiful the world could be if you share it with someone. And, just as he said, he took her on his bike, and rode to a bench, overlooking the sea. He told her it was his favourite place in the world, and even more now, because she was there with him. They continued to come to this spot for about a week or so. Sometimes, If he was delayed, she would go on ahead, and wait for him there. He would come, and they would watch the sun, setting over the ocean. One day, he didn't arrive to pick her up. So she walked there, and waited for him. And waited.. And waited... And waited.... He didn't turn up. Annoyed, she went home, where her parents were in tears. She asked them what was wrong. Apparently.. He had been in an accident on his bike.. A bus had pulled out too far, and he was unable to stop in time. He died instantly. So now, six months after his death, she waits here, on this bench, watching the sunset, just waiting... In the hopes that he might just sit on the bench next to her, and take her home on his bike once more... When she had finished talking.. I was in tears.. Such a tale... The pain she must have been in made me rethink my own life, and how it isn't so bad afterall.. I asked if she needed someone to take her home. She replied: "No, it's alright. I'll wait." The following day, I didn't see her on the bench. Or the day after that. Infact.. that was the last I saw of her.. It was the last time anyone saw her... She killed herself when she got home. So now, I take that route home from work every night, making sure to see the sun setting over the ocean.. Her story, echoing in my heart.......

Well, I know my Diary says this was the 18th, but its actually the 19th where I am.. Meaning my B'day was yesterday - the 18th for those of you just waking up.. Like me :P Had my first driving lesson yesterday, was fun :), Didn't crash but I managed to piss off a few ppl on the way home. :P (Stalled at traffic lights 3 times in a row lol) Taa taa for now ppls

Yes... Thats right.. "Feeling Happy" Gotta be the first time in a long time... Reason? I got me a Job :) Same place I was working at before (had to quit because of college) except this time, better work, more pay, and I get a qualification at the end of it! Yay me! Hope everyone is doing good, leave a message and tell me hows you all are. ^^

Ok, about time for an update me thinks... I quit college. Why? Because it wasn't going anywhere, and because I could be doing something better... Things with my mom are looking up - I spoke to her, and she now understands why I am what I am, and why I have been acting the way I have recently. A story for another time I think. As for my dad... Well... Things are going better than they have been in a long time. I feel I can trust him with anything now-a-days. Strange... This time last year, I hated my dad, and my mom and me were pretty close. Now its all reversed... Thats about it really. This is the last scene... Chin up... Smile... And put on the best damn show you can... Prepare for the final chapter...

"Aim for the moon, At worst you will hit the stars..."

They say every cloud has a silver lining... I say that every cloud has a story... They say every story had a happy ending... I say that storys are lies... They say every lie has some truth to it... I say lies are only told by the weak... They say every man has his weakness... I say mine... is you. The Shadow

I've learned alot in the past 5 years. I have made some wonderful friendships. And I... I want to say Thank You. To all of you. Without you, I wouldn't be who I am today. I'd still be "that kid" who sat alone at dinnertimes, "that kid" who had no-one to turn to when he felt down. I still find it hard to let my feelings and emotions out sometimes. But not as hard as before I met you all. Lizzy - You taught me to be myself, and never to give up. With you I felt like I could take on any task, no matter how difficult it may appear. You were my rock for the past 5 years. We helped each other through the worst of times, and had a good laugh at the best of them :) Jo and Kacy - You 2 taught me life can be fun and to live it to the full. I looked forward to every spanish lesson with you, we had loads of fun. I'll never forget either of you :) Wilsonés - Me and you could talk about Final Fantasy untill our voice boxes packed in. With you, I was never afraid to speak my mind, because I knew that you wouldn't taunt me for my ideas - no matter how crazy :) Nathan - I don't think we got off to the best of starts, but now look at us. I know I can always talk to you when I'm down. I have but a single regret - The regret that I couldn't make it last forever... To those who read this, take this piece of advice: Those who do nothing, Receive nothing in return, Those who work at life, love and friendships, Reveive the greatest gift this world has to offer, Happyness. --------------------------------------------- New Year Resolutions 1. Overcome fear of letting people know my true feelings. 2. Live live to its fullest. 3. Put more effort into my college work. 4. Think positive. 5. Help those who need helping. 6. Find happyness in my life. 7. Do more than sit on my fat arse playing on the PC all day. 8. Get more exercise. 9. Make peace with my family. 10. Never Give up on life.

8 Days to Christmas... Nothing much to write really. Same shit, different day. Is it me, or has this year gone so fast I missed it? Maybe I was having sooooooo much fun I didn't notice... ......... ........ ....... ...... ..... .... ... .. . YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHHH right... We'll, this week should be interesting atleast. Prolly told you this already, but we're converting a barn into a house, and well, its almost finished... APPART FROM MY ROOM!!!111ONEONEONE!!! Better be done before christmas... but I doubt it will :'( Well, I've waffled here for no reason other than to write what I am actually feeling. Partly cus I'm not so sure it'll help, but mostly cus I don't actually know myself. I do WANT to write something that's worth reading for a change. But untill I find out w/e it is thats bugging me, y'all gonna have to wait. /wave

Well... It's been an interesting few days... Friday: Went to Bolton, to a shop called Scan International, bought the stuff I needed to build a PC. Came to £560.37... I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOO when I had to give up all my money... :P Went to a friends house and put it all together, managed to put it all together in about 30minutes. Then realised it didnt work... So we had to take it all out, test which part's were working and which wern't. Kinda hard when you consider what goes into a PC, (There's not a lot, but just because you swap something and it works doesnt mean you found the whole problem.). So that was interesting... Saturday: Met Steve(the guy who's helping me build the PC) in Accrington, then went back to his house and continued slaving away over the thing. Had to leave at 6 oclock to babysit my brothers at my dad's house. Was up till 2 oclock waiting for the ass to get home so I could go to bed! Could'a told me he'd be that late... Sunday: Got a call from Steve saying my PC was working, but he had to use a 40Gb Hard Drive instead of a 160Gb Hard Drive (for all you techno-fans out there) which I wasnt impressed with, but he is gonna swop the 160Gb for a different one of the same size and put that one in my PC instead. Dunno when though... Took the now working PC to my mums house, couldn't connect it all, was to late. Monday: After college me and Steve went to my mums house to connect the PC to the internet. He'd done in 10 minutes what would have taken me half a day. Anyway, got it all set up. Then I go to connect my 2nd PC... Disaster! a) The power cable wasn't long enough. b) The router cable wasn't in existance. c) My bro's were home. So I got one PC on the internet. The other just needs a wire and a power cable for it to work. Current Mood: Inpain I have just been smacked over the head with a very large, very hard book by my loving brother... Nice eh? There's another reason but I don't really want to get into it atm. Maybe some other entry. That's about it for now... /wave

Have you ever looked up at the stars and hoped/wished, that somewhere, sometime, someday... you'll have someone to keep you warm in the cold... someone to protect from the harsh realities of life... someone to tell you its alright when things go wrong... someone who, when you look into their eyes, makes you feel like you belong... Well, I know for a fact I have... Like 30 seconds before I turned the computer on... *deep sigh* Big shout out to everyone I know, you kept me sane (hmmm. almost :P) all these years!

Once upon a land so dark, Lived a hero of the light, Who fought to free the world of pain, Who lived to end the hurtful spite, The demons were large, The hero was small, But with his mighty blade, Hey destroyed them all, Learn from this hero, Fight your fears, Otherwise, your life will be, A world of tears... *stage fades*

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing Watch you smile while you are sleeping While you're far away dreaming I could spend my life in this sweet surrender I could stay lost in this moment forever Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure Don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep Cause I'd miss you baby And I don't want to miss a thing Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you baby And I don't want to miss a thing Lying close to you feeling your heart beating And I'm wondering what you're dreaming Wondering if it's me you're seeing Then I kiss your eyes And thank God we're together I just want to stay with you in this moment forever Forever and ever Don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep Cause I'd miss you baby And I don't want to miss a thing Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you baby And I don't want to miss a thing I don't want to miss one smile I don't want to miss one kiss I just want to be with you Right here with you, just like this I just want to hold you close Feel your heart so close to mine And just stay here in this moment For all the rest of time Don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep Cause I'd miss you baby And I don't want to miss a thing Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you baby And I don't want to miss a thing Don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep I don't want to miss a thing Dreams, Beliefs, and Hopes are all we have in this torture we call life... But with these alone... we will only drown in a sea of our own thoughts... If you have dreams, then achieve them, before it is too late... Fight for what you believe in... Hope for love... Plan to make your life as you want it... Act on your dreams... Dream but also act... Believe but also plan... Hope but also begin...

Well, it's been a while since I've been bothered to update, still not much to tell, except I have been @ college studying computers (like you needed me to tell you :P) and having a good laugh :P Made some good friends, not as good as my old friends mind you, but still some cool ppl. Got a report to do on "The effects of IT on modern society" and a website to design, so fun fun fun.... (appart from the report anyway :P)

Going to work in 'bout 5 minutes, so just a quick entry before I go. 1st - Yay! GCSE results did as good as I hoped, hope all you lot did too. Got 1 A*, 3 B's, and 5 C's. Failed Spanish and RE with D and an E. 2nd - Why the fuck did I get on today and all my friends list was deleted?! Gonna have to put brain into gear and try to remember who was on it... 3rd - Off to work I go .... :(