The breakup occurred on Sunday and I've been okay. Not great or sadly depressed..... just okay. Maybe because I'm cold hearted. I don't know. I went to his dorm twice because he asked me to. I didn't follow myself on ignoring him. I went over and I couldn't get myself to talk to him about what's been going on. Why can't I just speak to him and let him know how I feel? It's like I can't help make a resolution of the whole situation. What is seriously wrong with me? I sometimes think I need psychological help... hell my whole family needs it. I can't explain what I've been through because it might be nothing to some of you or it might be a whole lot more of what you have experienced but I know it has made a negative impact on me. I have my parents and two older brothers and eventhough I have them I grew up alone. I have dealt with things by myself. I have kept so much inside. I am now bitter and can be such a bitch sometimes I actually surprise myself and feel terrible afterwards but I can't get myself to apologize. I have issues. So everything is still on hold because of me.

Stupid hour change. I didn't get to shower this morning because I woke up late and it was either shower or be late to work. So I'm Ms.Stinky today. I didn't sleep at all last night. He broke up with me yesterday after we watched a movie and had a stupid argument that turned into a fight. He says I act like an immature five year old and I have problems letting him know how I feel. I didn't do a thing to stop him. So, it's over. 2 years are down the drain. He hasn't called me and if he does I'm not answering. I need a break so I will do the most immature thing a five year old could do. I will avoid him. I don't care.