so when we found out mom was getting worse tyler and i decided to move up the wedding a whole year. we got married on July 12th. It was beautiful, couldnt ask for anything else. mom passed away the 22nd oh man. has life been hard and sucked ass. i have no motivation to do ANYTHING. cook clean go-out job hunt. nothing. and to make things worse tyler has been really busy coaching football and then security at night so when he gets home its like 1130 and we just go stright to bed. sometimes we dont even talk for 10 minutes. things need to change. i hate it. he is my husband and my best friend when i cant talk to either of them it sucks. and talk about no sex life omg. if anything it made me feel better... feeling wanted and needed but when he gets home if we dont even talk how would we have time for anything else. and i tried talking to him about it tonight and then he started kissing on me and i was like no i feel like its forced i dont want to and he was like okay and rolled over like everything was totally fine when it wasnt. my feelings are hurt and he has no idea. ;amoa;hneoo;dncoerjohga;'f who actually reads these anyways. i just use it to vent.

Okay, all of my entry's are from a long time ago 'cept for the last two. haha so bear with me and just start reading from there up.. NOT down haha unless your reallyyy bored! loves

So sitting here trying to think what to write about when i really should be asleep cause im so tired. bleh! what the hell. your only young once. So im going to Tahoe with my mom to visit my sister and her boyfriend for a weekend then im going even further north to visit amanda in chico! sometimes we go awhile without talking cause of lame reasons but in the end she is the one that has always been there for me. i can go to her crying and know she truly does care and can make me laugh afterwards. Moms chemo isnt until 130 tomorrow, im realy excited about that. i finally get to sleep in for once! YAY! selfish i know. but its killing me. well its really killing her... which kills me. Im so tired of dealing with her sickness. and i know she is too. sometimes i wonder if it would be easier on herself if she could just go already. its like dragging on and thats not fair for her. im tired of being selfish about this. one day she will die whether its cancer tonight or the buss that hits her in 4 months its going to happen... to everyone. i just need to keep telling myself I AM a strong women and even though its going to really hard for awhile, probably the rest of my life. i can do it. she will give me the strength to do anything and everything. my mom is amazing i love her to death. she is truly one of my best friends. we always have so much fun together and we literally talk about everything and laugh about everyone! i love you mommy. stay strong and hang in there.

So i signed into my account which has been ages. reading blogs that i have posted... oh man. life was so good when i thought it was hell. yesterday was me and tyler's two year together. he makes me so happy words cant even begin to explain. i feel as if my life is completed i just need a few kids! ha i have come to learn, life is always going to throw curve balls and its only going to make you strong if you stand up for what you belive in. its bitter-sweet going threw these struggles in my life when i know were all going to come out of it together and be united as one, like we have always been.

so bacically life sucks right now. ever feel like giving up and letting go yeah thats how i feel. im over everything. my mom and i fight like crazy we used to be so close and we would talk about anything but everything is going down hill she says im disrespectful i dont care about anyone except for myself, my social life and my boyfriend... but thats bull shit. im at the point i dont care what happens my mom asked me what is she supost to do with me. i told her to kick me out i didnt care anymore. we have been talking latly about me going to El Camino and i think she might consider it which would be the best thing for me right now. i would hurry up and get out of high school and move on with my life. casue right now my life is pointless. hopfully this weekend will really help me being gone thursday night until sunday night. so hopefully everything will work out. im keeping my fingers crossed. but whatever happens happenes. im just so glad i have tyler. i love him so much and he makes me feel like im living for a reason. i ♥ tyler!!

so yeah im super duper bored. um so wendsday should be fun jordyn?! haha anyways yeah so whats everyone doin for spring break? im sooo excited. im going to tahoe to visit my sister and go skiing! im like hyperrrrrrrrrr gottas gooo peepsss haha ♥

so im no long with ty. i thought the way we talked when we were together we were gunna best the best of friends do everything thing together... well shit happens i guess. now i relize he is the jealiuos type and im not gunna put up with his shit. so im done. anyways i have a wonderful boyfriend. a couple people have told me i desirve a guy that treats me right. and with ty i thought he was the one... like the great boyfriend ever, now with tyler like 3 days of going out. i relize this is how girls are supost to be treated. i can honstly say, im over ty and on to new and better things. haha i know that sounds bad but whatever. so yeah whats going on people IM: surfnaked753

hey ya'll wow does anyone even have one of these things anymore? dude if you do you should go to myspace.com and get account there no hard feelings or anything but its way better! haha. things have been going so good for me latley! only 8 more days until school is over and im gonna get a job this summer. and im in love with the hottest guy ever i think. and we talk all the time and im begining to think he likes me too! lol. wow yea im a dork! well anyways hope all is well with everyone else! lol. wat have you guys been up to latley? well im outtie! talk to you all later! x0x0x0x0x0 ~amy~

so yea a lot has happen....... i have a boyfriend but its weird. i dont know y well i do but i dont feel like explaining it! haha. ohh well. i just guess i'll keep my problems to myself. soooo on a lighter note... how have you all been? im alright i guess you could say! lol. but anyways that all for me just thought i needed to update! so peace out hommies! luv ya! x0x0x0x0x0x0 ~amy~

haha i always feel like a blond! haha! im such a dork... anyways i havnt been on in like forever so i thought i should write an entry so my friends dont have to do it for me! haha! wow. ummmm anybody have a myspace?? yeah this diary thing... i soooooo kinda over it! haha! srry to all of you freaky diarie people! lol. anyways. talk to you all later! ~amy~ PS. GoOdIeS mAkE tHe BoIz JuMp On It! HeHeHeHe!!!!!!!!

OH YEAH! hardcore biatcccchhh =) Hellooooo! This is Elisha updating for Amy, because she told me to, and i love her sososo much..=) i remember when this song use to be so IN! hahah and i use to be obsessed with it, now i just think its a cool song..But anyways..School starts tomorrow, oh joy..notice the scarcasm? " somebody needs to change their tamponnnnn!! " hahahha! ew! I think tomorrow or something i'm going to fix Amys diary look, she's had it for such a long ass time and it's getting old.well, i think..hahah but i'm sure she won't mind if i do =) So besides all of that cool junk, Amy likes this guy named whorehay. JORGEEEEEE! hahaha just kidding, i don't even know who that is. But i'm sure he's hott :P oh yeaaaahh! Amy and i are going on a diet, because we fucking kick ass...but i always cheat on diets..so i bet mine won't even last two days..how horrible. eh, okay i guess this is all i will write for now..lateee jerkks

hey you guys! GUESS WHAT?? i remembered my pass word for my SN hehe! im a dork! hehe! so if anyone wants to talk to me its surfnaked753 peace out word to ya mother! hehe love amy! PS..... ashley were gonna have soo much FUN 2morrow! hehe! i luv you!

WOW I HAVNT BEEN ON IN AWHILE! HEHE! ANYWAYS... IM FLIPIN PISSED I CANT REMEMBER MY PASSWORD FOR AIM. OHH MY GOSHHH! HEHE! ANYWAYS HOW HAS EVERYONE BEEN?? WELL HIT ME BACK LOVE YOU ALL! LOVE AMY

OMG I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU ALL...... OK IF YOU THINK YOUR ALL BAD ASS LEAST HAVE THE FUCKING BALLS TO LEAVE YOUR NAME INSTIED OF A FUCKING ANONYMOUS COMMENT. THATS A GOOD ONE YOU STUPID BITCH! LOL.

this is great! haha and i thought i should share it with ya'll! hehe! are you guys gonna go to the game 2morrow!?!? anyways talk to you all later! i love you guys! amy I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jerks. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big weenie or huge boobs. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others... they're more messed up than you think. I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

im at the libary! haha i spelled that wrong! hehe im here with dyaln! hehe he rocks my sockz! he cant spell enycoplidia and emily is making fun of him! hahaha! hehe! and we just made up a NEW word it is Noit!!! hehehe I LOVE YOU DYLAN! heheh dude jaci wants me to go to the backwards dance next weekend but i dont know if i wanna go... and PLUS the girl has to ask someone and im like.....auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu NO! haha AMY ASKING A BOY?? HAHA IM GOOD BUT... THANKS! HEHE me and erika are talking about going together cause they cant discramage against lezbo! heheh! JK well anyways! i have written ALOT! hehe. i have been saying hehe ALOT! hehe! lol. OMG! haha umm well all of you guys BETTER go to the ventura game on friday! hehe. i think it is at 7:30! and go to the dance so we can get our FREAK on! hehe, anyways i lvoe you guys and well talk to you later! love always, amy! x0x0x0x0x0

ERIKA IS A BRAT BITCH AND A COCK SUXER! HAHA! JK I LOVE YOU ERIKA!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA I LOVE YOU!! BYE BITCHES!!!!

wow! cabrillo high sux at water polo and the sad part is we won and were the freshmen team and they were JV! haha. feels good! lol. anyways so yeah tonight was ALOT of fun! haha. well i dont know what to write about! well hope all you have a wonderfun thanksgiving! well talk to you all later! love alyways! amy

hiii guys this is elisha! =) Amy and i went to the football game Friday. and being the jerk she is, she stepped on my hand..and as if that wasn't enough for her, she shoved a snickers candy bar all over my face. So i smelt like chocolate the rest of the night. Thanks Amy. Soooo, after that we got to her house, made cookies and they were really good =) haha and then we prank phone called a lot of people. In the morning we went to Jue's Market and bought cookie dough. It was REAAAALLY awesome because when she got change back, i was like "let me see .25" Amy: why? Elisha: because i want to buy a bouncy ball! Amy: oooh i want a pink one! *Then when i got a bouncy ball, guess what color i got!..PPIIINKKK! =) wooo!* hahah Elisha: you jinxed it!hahah Amy: fine. i want a pretty one. Elisha: watch, your going to get an ugly one. *then out come THREE bouncy balls! hahahaha* Amy: YOU JINXED IT! hahaha yayyyyy! picture timmeeee! Wow Amy, you have a HUUUGE butt. hahah hahahahahhaa what a fatty =) hahah hahah Amy looks so short in this picture! =) i think shes trying to fly ? YEAAH AMY! mmm cooookies! "And breaaaakk awaaayyyyy!" HAHAHAHA " CRAP! i lost my 10.00! " HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Hello this is sharon from blockbuster.. ITS TOO STATICYY! I CANT HEAR YOUUUU! WOOOO! goooood times! I love you Amy, even though you abuse me all the time. pssshhh, CYKE!