So sitting here trying to think what to write about when i really should be asleep cause im so tired. bleh! what the hell. your only young once. So im going to Tahoe with my mom to visit my sister and her boyfriend for a weekend then im going even further north to visit amanda in chico! sometimes we go awhile without talking cause of lame reasons but in the end she is the one that has always been there for me. i can go to her crying and know she truly does care and can make me laugh afterwards. Moms chemo isnt until 130 tomorrow, im realy excited about that. i finally get to sleep in for once! YAY! selfish i know. but its killing me. well its really killing her... which kills me. Im so tired of dealing with her sickness. and i know she is too. sometimes i wonder if it would be easier on herself if she could just go already. its like dragging on and thats not fair for her. im tired of being selfish about this. one day she will die whether its cancer tonight or the buss that hits her in 4 months its going to happen... to everyone. i just need to keep telling myself I AM a strong women and even though its going to really hard for awhile, probably the rest of my life. i can do it. she will give me the strength to do anything and everything. my mom is amazing i love her to death. she is truly one of my best friends. we always have so much fun together and we literally talk about everything and laugh about everyone! i love you mommy. stay strong and hang in there.