hmmm,.. so im not really sure how im feeling at the moment.. i think im pretty much just generally content with everything.. schools out.. i have like 2 weeks of summer left.. me and my friends are all good.. im even ok with going to oregon by myself.. i just dont seem much to mind much of anything latley.. its actually kind of weird.. i've been in a weird mood for the past like week.. no .. past couple days.. usually i always worry a lot about whats gonna happen in the future and when im gonna do thing or when things are gonna happen.. like when im gonna actually record my songs.. or when im gonna get a boyfriend.. which i've come to realize, that i really do want that.. at first the whole i want a boyfriend thing was just because i wanted to be in a relationship with someone who i wouldn't fall for easily.. but now.. i dunno .. i wouldn't mind falling for a guy.. and i really do want a boyfriend.. wow that sounds sorta foreign coming from me.. i havent actually had a boyfriend in .. like... 2 years.. its been nothing but girls, girls, girls.. ever since i came out.. ... i talked to Lily a few days ago.. it was..cool. actually i dont even know what it was .. it was weird.. she talked to Em too.. i dunno.. ... one thing i definatley wasen't content with though.. ANI.. ani ani ani.. damn. she canceled her show.. like the day before.. and it was horrible.. me and emily have been waiting for that concert all summer long.. all summer.. and it was just extreemly dissapointing.. it sucked.. but.. life goes on.. and she will tour again.. all hope is not lost... ... i went to Ragging Waters yesterday.. it was pretty cool.. its a lot smaller than i remember.its like really really small.. compared to Hurican Harbor.. but it was still pretty fun.. except there were like a million yellow jackets flying around everywhere.. but no one got stung so it was iight.. yea then we were watching this BMX stunt show.. and.. it was pretty great.. but the whole day i kept seeing.. cute boys with their cute girlfriends.. well some weren't so cute, but thats not the point.. the point is it made me want a boyfriend even more.. .. this kid thats staying at my dads house visiting his mom, has a crush on me. he's really sweet and way cooler than his brother.. but.. he's not my type.. i dunno.. but.. Niko.. he's definatley my type.. i really want to hang out with him.. hmm .. i think i will call hime now.. bye bye