I've been in a weird mood for a really long time now.. or well on and off for a long time... i keep having these days where i can be totally surrounded by all my friends that i love, people i know care about me and yet i feel completely alone.. i dont know why.. and it used to be that when i felt like this i could just crawl up into my own little space and write ..about anything and everything..and nothing at all.. but now as soon as i get a pad of paper and a pen in my hand .. im lost. .its like a fucking foreign object or something.. and i cant write anything... fuck. and every time i actually have something to write about i cant because theres no paper .. no computer around.. ............. can you know someone forever and not really know them? some people it seems like you will never know enough about them... or rather .. you will learn something new everyday.. i guess thats a good thing though.. i dunno.. hell i learn new things about chris all the time.. so i got all stoned yesterday, and then i hung out with charles.. we went to the baranka and we were hiking around down there for about an hour and a half.. or so.. we went to the park part for a little while it was fun we went on the swings and down the slide.. where we got stuck.. hehehe it was funny.. yea none of my friends seem to like charles .. i understand.why.. he is sort of annoying sometimes.. but i dont even notice when he's being annoying usually because im just so used to it.. i mean i've known him since i was like 9 years old... and well he hasen't chnaged much... i want to call Niko.. or i want him to call me.. or something.. im lonley. :( i want a bf.. damn i g2g.. (but im not done writting) bbl i guess.. peace --peaces--