I've been deep in thought lately. Trying to rationalize everything to the best of my ability, but still ending up nowhere.

I've been thinking about how people change, and although you say you may never turn out one way, you usually always turn out that exact way. I remember I used to say I'd never do things. And here I am doing them all. I feel like I need to go back, just one more time, to make everything right. To make it all complete, so I can leave whole.

That's not how life works. We can't go back and redo what we wish we had done.

I just need to go back and fix things. To make them better, so my mind and soul will be at ease from now on.

I need to fix me, but until then, I am trapped in this wasteland of empty promises and hopeless dreams. This dessert of opportunities. This.

This hell.