Well this hasnt been the greatest weekend. Friday the track meet got canceled which was good. I went over to Jessica's house till 10.. it was fun. I came home and went to sleep about 11 and was back up by 12 because my arm was killing me. I would have to say I have never felt that much pain before. I am a wimp but it wasnt fun. I was up till 2... then had to get back up at 4:45 to go to State Band in Witchita. I didnt do great on my solo but I got a 2.. good enough for me. I went tanning! Almost out of minutes..:-( Then I babysat 3 kids from 3:30 - 12:30. Wow.. I was ready for bed. Then today I havnt done much of anything.. working on some stuff for school... I tried to put some fake finger nails on and I didnt like them but couldnt get them off.. soo all afternoon I have been trying to get them off.. I got one so far. Could be a long day. Jessica still isnt back from Colorado yet..Geeze what was she thinking leaving me again?!? Well prom is in a week... It will be fun. Im not real sure weather I am excited or not about it at this point.. I know eather way it will be here before I know it soooo.. yeah. I might be going to the docter tomorrow. All depends on what I feel like in the morning.. I dont know what I could have done to my arm but it hurts. It is isnt as bad tomorrow I will just pretend it doesnt hurt at all and tell my mom not to get an appointment. Im pretty bored right now. Yep.. well/..... hmm... later!

Well I am excited like no other. I donno why... just all of a sudden at that... 2 hours ago I didnt care.. I wanted prom to be over.. but now.. I donno... I CANT WAIT! Im a loser I know it! I really dont have much on my mind.. other than the fact that I cant think of being more than friends with this one person.. it is hard but I can do it!! I know I know ... only 2 weeks.. more like a week and a half. I dont want to go to school though... I am ready for summer! Thats for sure! Hassler is back.. no more cute sub to look at :( I think I will be okay.. there always someone else... hmmmm Im in such a good mood right now! For being this time a month... ya know.. it is weird.. but I guess I never get in a REALLY crabby mood... I dont think. Well... hmm.. I dont have anything else I feel like typing sooo later!

It has been a long time since I have wrote in here. Almost a month. I have been busy I guess. My brother got married... then got in a wreck. But they are all okay now. The baby is due in July! I cant wait. Kristen has back to Burg. Mom and dad are always fishing. School is going okay. QUick.. which is good. I am ready for summer. Prom is comming up soon. I am going with James. I hope all goes well. I like him.. but I have desided I am not gonna spend all my time trying to get him to like me back... if he does he does if he doesnt he doesnt. If it is ment to be it will happen. Jessica and Mason both dont know who they are taking to prom. Hopefully they find someone. We are all going to the Rain Forest Cafe. I have never been there. Track is going okay.. I am sick of running the mile at track meets. I always get sooo scared. It is bad. But I do it... I kinda like the coach for that.. Im one of those people that if Im not forced to do something I most of the time dont do it. Excersizing anyways. But I need to run.. so I dont gain a whole bunch of weight right before prom. That would suck ... yep yep yep. I am really bored with weekend. Jessica is in Colorado.. mom and dad are fishing... Kristen and david are both with friends. So that leaves me here alone. I was going to have James come over. I called yesterday.. we talked for about 3 minutes... he was getting ready to go fishing. He said he would call me back but that didnt happen. Im not surprised. So.. I was thinking about calling him today but then was like.. no he know I wanted to talk. So I guess if he doesnt call me thats his loss. Im going to Branson next week for band. I hope it is fun. State band is comming up. I need to start practing but i just havnt found the time. Sound have brought it home this weekend but I forgot. Hmmm... well... I guess that about all I got to say so Later!

Well... today was very long. I cleaned almost the whole house, ran my daily mile... so much fun, cleaned the inside of my car, and went to Jessica's house to "do math" Mason and Scott came over. James I guess decided not to come. I just dont understand it. If he likes me then why wouldnt he want to come. And then the whole thing with him not wanting to hang out during spring break because of Cody being there is sooo stupid! LoL... But if he doesnt want to come ... I will have fun without him. And then the whole him saying .."she's hot, I'd do her" kinda upsets me in a way. makes me wonder if he really does like me or just thinks he can get something from me. I donno. I am pretty sure I am not the type of person people look at and think I do a whole lot with just any guy... if ya know what I mean. but I donno.. only time will tell.

well... hmm.. last night I went to Jessica's house. It was fun... I could just scream at Ashley when she drinks but she is okay. i didnt even get the slightest bit tipsy... ohh well. Scott and James came over. Yeah... fun... I have now seen more of Scott than I needed. Today we didnt have school. I came home at 10:00. I cleaned the house a little.... went to Ottawa with my mom sister and brother.... came home... jogged a mile. It took me 9:30 to finish.... not good. But at least I got up and did something. It would be so hard on Monday. NOw i really dont have a whole lot to do. Just sit here and drink water... fun fun fun! Jessica is in Ottawa with her boyfriend... geeze what was she thinking :) Thats okay... I need to pick up my room but I really dont want to. And I have algebra homework to do too. I will probably wait till Sunday night, like always.

Yesterday I jogged all the way out to Texico without stopping.. Wow... what a relief. I dont have to do those push-ups!! Emily, Jessica, and I went to Buzzards and got some bread sticks. Then Jess and I went into Ottawa to Sam's house. It was fun... I just felt like the fifth wheel. But thats okay.. I will get used to it I guess. It was really funny... Jessica will believe anything!!! But thats okay... she makes it funny. We didnt end up going back to burg till around 1... and then it took me forever to fall asleep. But now I am wide awake.. dont ask me how. I need to do algebra 2 this weekend. That will be interesting. I need to read a book this weekend too... or at least get a good start on it so I can get my book points.. but yet insted of reading I am sitting here on the computer. I like to procastinate. Thats probably spelled wrong but thats alright. I really dont have any plans this weekend. I am going to go tanning... that will fill up about 30 min of my day... other than that.. cleaning.. homework... might go run if I get REALLY bored. Track starts Monday. I dont know if I am ready for it but I have improved some this week. It is almost Spring Break!! Yippie!! I still havnt asked my parents if I can do the whole hanging out with my friends thing over spring break. I have hinted at it.. but am too scared to ask. I dont want to have to argue about it. Hmmm.. well I guess thats all I have to say for now... Later!

Wow it has been a while. Mostly things have been going good... till a little bit ago... thats why I got on here.. I needed to vent a little. Well the weather has started to warm up so I decided to move all my stuff back downstairs. And i was cleaning the basement... I saw the pictures I had of Nick on my shelf... so I took them down. Then I was sitting on the floor and looked up and it just look so empty without them. And then I almost started crying. I miss him so much. Getting mad at him that day in the hall way was the stupidest thing I think I have ever done. I lost a great guy and I cant have him back and it sucks. Jess em and i hang out over spring break and we are going to have a movie night thing. And I was thinking of someone to bring... but it is like my head is not allowing me to realize Nick is gone. I can like other people but the second I think about being more than friends with them it is like Nick jumps into my head and says Im still here. BUT HE ISNT!!! I just want to talk to him soo bad. But i cant and it sucks. Most of the time I can keep him out of my thoughts... but then there are those days.. like right now.. that he just pops right back in and I cant get him out. It is probably becuase I went back into the basement... a lot of memories down there.. heck we spent most of our time down there... watching movies, talking, other stuff.. and I just remember waking up to those sweet text messages he would send me or the time he came over at like 8 in the morning and I just layed there with him.. I miss him... can you tell... and sorry Jess.. I know your sick of it... but Im trying my best to get over this.. Just some people it takes them a LONG time to truely stop liking someone. I just dont understand. He was nearly perfect to me. And the few flaws he had I just threw in his face. This saturday we will have been apart two months.... wow.. yeah... and I am still not over the fact that I cant have him back. I sometimes sit here and think well maybe when him and Kelli break up we can try again... but looking back I said that about Thomas too and now he is getting married. Maybe Nick will be different... geeze who and I kidding... it is over Georgia! I just am just too stupid to realize it I guess. In time.. maybe next year... I will wake up one morning and say hey it is ok to move on to someone else. I almost feel like I am turning into one of those girl who HAVE to have a boyfriend.. but not quite... I mean other than Nick I dont want anyone. He was everything to me. I think if I ever hear he is engaged I will cry. But this is what I deserve. I was a bitchy girlfriend to him. Always telling him to cut his hair or shave and little stuff like that. It wasnt my life. Why did I try to run it. ok... well I feel a little better.. tomorrow I will wake up and be in a better mood and try to forget about being upset! Good luck to myself!

Well this weekend went pretty good I guess. I dont remember what I did Saturday.... ohhh well ... must not have been too exciting. Sunday night I hung out with some friends. It was alright. Lots of drama but still fun. Monday I was supposed to watch my brother but then didnt have to... I had basketball practice.. man that was a bitch. Mr. Johnson was telling me how to do something on the press and I was just looking at him like umm yeah ok.... but we didnt have to run so that was just splinded. I dont think I spelled that correctly. OHHh WELL!! My car is still not moving! Grrr... maybe next month I will be able to drive it again. We can only hope... hmm well ... I have algebra tomorrow morning. What fun is that. we are taking a test. Our teacher is pregnant so who knows how long till we have a long term sub. Then I have english... boy what fun. Yet again taking a test. Then PE.... yeah... and ceramics. Maybe I will finially get my plate and bowl. It is taking forever! I am going to miss school on Wednesday. Our choir is going to Altoona Midway. I wish we could miss tomorrow's classes but NO... I have to miss an easy day. At least I will only have to go to classes 3 days this week!! Yippie! We have probably our last basketball game tomorrow at Waverly. Then no practices for like week or two!!! Soooo exciting... yeah... it is. Well .. I guess I better get to bed... so I can suffer through another day at Williamsburg High School! LOL... LATER!

This week went by really fast.. which is a good thing. Not to much happened.... Jess was happy with Matt... then upset.. now happy.. LOL! He better be good to her or I will kick his butt!! We had a game tonight. We got our butts kicked! Ohh well.. not a big deal to me. Emily was sick today.. what a loser! Mrs. Aubert compleatly embarest me today after school. She was trying to hook me up with someone... and brought 4 guys into her room... not even telling them why.. and started like one of those dating game show things. I bet a was as red as an apple. I think I was the most imbarest when Lucas walked in. I couldnt believe she did it. I am not mad... just... never gonna dought anything she says she is gonna do again. I bet Craig and Jacob think I am crazy now. But thats alright. They will forget about it. Umm tomorrow is the Williamsburg weightlifting meet. I dont really want to go but some how Mr. Lee talked me into it. I am going to do really bad. I havnt lifting in a while. That and my arm has been hurting... OHH well I will live! Sunday I am going to go hang out with some friends.. it should be a lot of fun!!! Im excited! Kinda... I donno. Well./.... later

Yeah, sorry jess. I havnt had a whole lot of time to update this week. Lets see whats been going on. A whole lot of nothing. Friday was our Queen of Courts game. It was okay I guess. We lost really badly. I got to play though. I think it was partly because I said something to the coach and he was just trying to make me happy... but thats okay.. playing is playing. After the game a got the opertunity to wash dishes for probably an hour. Man was that fun. Then I went to the dance ... which wasnt the greatest but ... it was a dance. I am not really isnt dances. Saturday I got up and went to my little brothers basketball game. Boy was that fun too. I went tanning Saturday and Sunday. FINALLY! I know jess... I didnt go with you.. but you were working. I made $50 this weekend babysitting. It was the easiest money I have ever made. The kids just intertained themselves most of the time. Yeah.. so now I am sitting at home .. bored as ever with nothing to do. I am talking to Mason right now on Yahoo. We are talking about next Sunday. Boy will it be fun. Just looking at the "party supplies" made me want to get into them... but I didnt. hmm... well.. I guess I am going to go... I dont have anything else to talk about. Later!

Today has went by really slow. I got up around 8 maybe.. I donno... then came home from jessica's around 8:30. I watched a Steven King movie. It was pretty weird... not as weird as Desperation.. now that was freaky. I want to see the movie to that.. I have only read the book. Ummm.. lets see... i walked 2 miles on the tredmill. I was going to go run outside but it is kinda cold. Other than that I really havnt done a whole lot. I need to study for a test and do some homework, but I will probably wait till homebase tomorrow... or during band first hour. I donno. Im still pretty down in the dumps... it is not too much fun. I miss him a lot and keep thinking in my head that one day I might get him back when really I know it aint gonna happen.I know it has been a month.. and i am still complaining about it... but it is my way of venting and getting it out of my head so people dont have to listen to it. On here ... I guess if you dont want to hear about it... dont read it. I just really liked him. And I felt confortable with him... which doesnt happen a lot. Like... comfortable to be myself around him. I mean yeah I did try to hide stuff from him... alcohol... but like i wasnt shy around him... I acted like the true idiot I am... :-) I could tell him anything. And I just feel like I lost a really great guy and it sucks! Yeah okay... soo.. I am talking to Mason right now on Yahoo. He is a pretty awesome person.. when he wants to be. He is being kinda dumb right now. I think he has selective hearing. Hears what he wants and gets mad at us when he doesnt know stuff that he just didnt want to listen to. Anyways .... Im am done venting for now.. soo... later

Today is going pretty slow. I went to my brother's basketball game this morning. It is a big organized mess of little 1st graders running around is circles, but is kinda funny to watch. After that some of his friends came over the our house. They are loud. 6 little kids running up and down the hall. But they are cute. I love Grant. He is three or four I think... and the cutest kid I have ever seen. Later I am going to go into Ottawa with my mom and maybe Jessica. I am going tanning and then get some gym shorts... and rent a movie to watch over at Jessica's house I think. I am not sure.. she hasnt text me back. Hmm... what else is there to write about....I donno... sooo.. bye!

Well it has been almost a week sence I wrote in here last. What all has happened.... NOTHING! It is burg. Okay well stuff has happened but ya know... ummm I have had a good week. I have been in a lot of moods, but Im not pregnant... (lol.. dont ask) School is going shitty. I have a C+ in algebra 2! The teacher is soo stupid! I have like all A's but that class. ohh well... ummm my friends are kinda ... about to kill eachother.. okay well one wants to kill the other one.. and the one gonna get killed just doesnt understand why she is gettin on people's nerves... I donno... teenage drama I guess. Queen of Courts in next week. I am not real excited to go. If I had a date maybe I would feel differently about it... but I dont. I have been really missin my ex this week. I was fine untill someone (SCOTT!) brought him up and sence then I cant get him out of my head. I dont understand why.. not like I have a chance with him. He is with some ... girl from Ottawa... I wish I could sit here and call her a bitch and a slut but I really dont know the girl at all. I just know she took my place... and as much as I want him back in my life right now.. I cant. I know I know.. more teenage drama, but... I donno... I really thought he had changed a little... that we would acually last together... I mean not thinking about the rest of my life.. Im 17!! But I thought we would be together longer than 2 months. But we have been.. apart I guess you could call it... for a month... sometime this week. I know, I cant remember things too well.Well geeze enought about him. I acually thought I was starting to "fall" for another guy for a while. Then I was like geeze what am I thinking... I am not over my last guy... why would I need to get myself even more stress worrying about 2 guys and end up like the girl from Ottawa! I just need to give myself some time to fully get over this guy.. which with me .. it could be a while.. and then just .. I donnno... wait for the wright guy to come along. I dont need a guy in my life.. ummm...basketball is almost over.. yippie... we had a game tonight. I thought I did pretty well in the JV game.. but did I get any more playing time over Varsity... are you kidding!!! I am soo sick of sitting the bench... mainly just cuz who I have to sit and listen to ... she is so stupid and doesnt know how to shut her mouth.. but thats okay.. she has some good qualities too I guess.... Life at home is going pretty good. Hope it stays that way. I cant wait till I graduate. I am only going to go take classes in Ottawa my first year.. but I will still be able to move out. I mean I could move out now.. but I cant aford to do anything but live in a cardboard box right now..lol.. and as much fun as that sounds I think i will wait a till I graduate and probably a while after than when I got some money to spend. The 19th is just around the corner... what 16 days now.I am not really as excited about it now. I donno why. Okay I do know why. Because everone... ok... a good portion of the people there will have a "friend" or signifigant other with them... I will not. Brings me back to the whole missin my ex thing.... geeze..lol I am a person that only "celebrates" when I am stressed. And right now.. I mean yeah there are things I wish I could change right now .,.. but nothing causing me a whole lot of stress. But I am sure after the queen of courts dance I will be upset. Just having to see all those people having fun... yeah... I donno.. ya know... before I started dating guys... like longer than a few weeks....I think I have changed... Like before ... i didnt care that I wasnt with anyone.. it was just like no one likes me I understand that and I could deal with that. Well now it is like people are toyin with my head. Being like yeah I like you .. maybe just to get a girl.. and I fall for it. Then when someone else comes around the leave me. And if you know anything about me I am the type to just let my self esteem lower because of that. And I just have a little pitty party inside my head. Yeah I know I am crazy! Okay... well I am done venting for now. I just had to get that out of my head... and if anyone (SCOTT) brings him up again I will probably go even more crazy :-) Well... later!

Well I did write another entry yesterday but I guess it didnt feel like saving it. GEEZE! It was really long too... Ohh well.. Its all good. Today was alright I guess. I went into Wal-Mart with Kristen, Brandi, Sandy, and David. I washed my car... it didnt do a great job but thats okay because I wont get to drive it for a while anyways. On the way home I broke a belt and did something else to it. Untill it is fixed I have no power steering.. and you just shouldnt drive a car like that... LOL... It was kinda scary. I ended up pulling over onto Florida Rd. Kendra's mom stopped and asked if we were alright. I went over to Jessica's house and saw the most awesome thing... Williamsburg now has one of those light things for school zones... is that crazy or what. I thoughts so. Well anyways, we watched the Lakers game. I didnt watch to whole thing. Jessica thinks they are gonna come back from being down by 20 points and win... GOOD LUCK! Our class isnt getting along at all.. I mean we never really have been close.. always had little groups... but now everyone is just kinda sayin what they think about everything... yeah it is interesting. Ohh well.. I dont care.. it is not the top of my worries right now. I bout packed up my things and left yesterday. My dad and I dont get along at all... and we never have but the one thing that happened at the first of this months... makes me just even madder every time he makes me mad... if that makes any sence. I was thinking about just getting a job all next year rather than playing sports... so as soon as I graduate I will have some money to get out of this house. I heard my ex-boyfriends truck got stolen recently. Dont remember exactly when.. and they set it on fire or something... not cool but... he isnt part of my life now (even if I want him to be) so I really shouldnt care. As much as I care about him, I dont think I would ever date him again... Just seeing how stupid he can be.. GEEZE! I still cant wait till they break up though... I know they wont last, with her still being "in love" with someone else she used to date. I think she is just using him... but he is probably just dating her to get some ... so... yeah whatever. Hmmm... I dont want to go to school tomorrow. Just to PE and ceramics. PE we dont really do much... and Ceramics.. yeah.. you know.. it is awesome. I wish it was already Feb. 19th. It is gonna be the bomb diggity!!! YEAH MAN!! One of my friends is going to start going to the alternative school next week. I dont know if she is gonna like it out there. They seem like... different people. Zach is cool though.. from upstairs at jessica's house. He is really funny. Cant forget those phone calls... lol Ivan Beltran. Yeah dont ask... Jess knows what im talking about. Well I am gonna end this now.. cuz it is a really long entry. So.. LATER!

Today was super quick! Went by like a blink of the eye almost. Physical science was forever and a day and a half as jessica would say. I found out some GREAT news today. Jess knows what I am talking about. YIPPIE!!! Well I really dont have much to say today. I have a lot on my mind but nothing I feel like sharing with the world at this point. So... thats all folks!

Today was alright. I had Algebra 2 first hour! It sucks!! But its all good. I played cross court in PE today. It was a lot of fun. Probably the funnest PE class all year. It is crazy. I COULD SHOT! Shocking, I know. Lets see what else... I had ceramics again today. It was a funny class as always. James and Andy are awesome. yep yep. We had a basketball game tonight vs. KSD. Girls won as always... and so did the boys! KSD has a crappy girls team but a good guys team... weird. Jessica got her new car. It is cool. It is funny about the windshild wipers though. LOL!!! Jerry will have to fix them. I have band tomorrow morning. I will probably take a nap again. It is becoming a daily thing for me. The past week everytime I have band I take a little nap. I need to start bringing a pillow. Well, I am gonna be bitchy tomorrow if I dont get some sleep... and we dont want that to happen... so NIGHT!

Well, today was alright. Another boring day at school. Tried to get some people to do track... so if you are reading this... DO TRACK THIS YEAR!! I got $10 from watchin my cousin today. I didnt do much but hey I cant turn down money. It will probably go to the Feb. 19th fund! Well $5 goes to Andy Keuchel. Geeze... oh well. Went to basketball practice today as always. It was soo much fun :-/ I am ready for the season to be over. As much fun as it is to sit and watch everyone play at the games... I think I could do without. We are playing KSD tomorrow so I will get some playing time... so I will be alright I guess.. I just need to suck it up and deal with it that I suck. I have ceramics tomorrow!!! I cant wait. I love the project I am working on. It looks awesome. It is hard to believe I made it. Most of the time my stuff turns out looking like crap. That class would be awesome if I few people put some duct tape over their mouths. It is really pretty cool though. Andy and James are funny. Ricky is alright.. just different. Everyone else I just pretent they are not in there. I know I know... I am an evil person.. but seriously, how is it possible to enjoy hanging out with everyone you come acrossed. It is just not gonna happen. One person I really dont like is my algebra 2 teacher. She is so stupid. I am really behind in that class but I dont care. As long as I get a C it dont matter to me. I have really change the way I look at school this year. Last year I got all A's and this year I am just like.. yeah whatever I dont care. So yeah.. Im pretty bored right now. Talking to Jessica and Mason a little. We basiclly ran out of thing to say though. We are talking about french fries... yeah we are crazy! Well ... thats all I got soo... PEACE!

Wow... yeah I'm bored! I thought I would be cool like jess and get on this sit diary thing. LOL! Even though I sometimes forget to update things... like tagged. My day has been pretty boring. Not much to do in this dinky little town... That and I am grounded... kinda. Yeah life is so fun. I am talking to Shayla and Mason right now. Tons of fun... yep yep yep! Jess isnt on... geeze.. what a friend she is! Just kidding! She is the bomb diggity.. haha.. I cant spell. But thats alright, I know what I am talking about. Last night was the Williamsburg vs. Pomona basketball games. It was... okay. I wasnt in the best of moods. I was ready to quit basketball! Yeah, great fun. But I didnt, because thats just the way I am. I saw my ex with his new girlfriend at the game. It was... difficult to see him with someone else but its all good.. I have moved on.. or at least I am telling myself that. I think I am going to do track this year!!! Softball sucked last year and with having to pay $30-$40 to play is stupid.. so Im done with that. Track might be fun.. I donno. There is like no one that is doing it though.. that I know of. I think Craig is!!! I dont really talk to him much anymore.. Im not sure why... we just .. dont. I was thinking today.. if I do track... I will have been in all the sports possible for girls in our high school... that is weird. I think so anyways. Im so sick of school!! I cant wait till summer. Some of the people at our school drive me insain! But the good thing is most of them will be gone next year!! Hmmm ... wow.. I can just go on and on about nothing. Just shows how bored I am. Is there a lot of people that read these? Makes me kinda wonder... who knows. Well yeah I ran out of things to say. Not really.. I could go forever... but I dont want to ... and your probably sick of reading this .. so yeah.. LATER!