Wow it has been a while. Mostly things have been going good... till a little bit ago... thats why I got on here.. I needed to vent a little. Well the weather has started to warm up so I decided to move all my stuff back downstairs. And i was cleaning the basement... I saw the pictures I had of Nick on my shelf... so I took them down. Then I was sitting on the floor and looked up and it just look so empty without them. And then I almost started crying. I miss him so much. Getting mad at him that day in the hall way was the stupidest thing I think I have ever done. I lost a great guy and I cant have him back and it sucks. Jess em and i hang out over spring break and we are going to have a movie night thing. And I was thinking of someone to bring... but it is like my head is not allowing me to realize Nick is gone. I can like other people but the second I think about being more than friends with them it is like Nick jumps into my head and says Im still here. BUT HE ISNT!!! I just want to talk to him soo bad. But i cant and it sucks. Most of the time I can keep him out of my thoughts... but then there are those days.. like right now.. that he just pops right back in and I cant get him out. It is probably becuase I went back into the basement... a lot of memories down there.. heck we spent most of our time down there... watching movies, talking, other stuff.. and I just remember waking up to those sweet text messages he would send me or the time he came over at like 8 in the morning and I just layed there with him.. I miss him... can you tell... and sorry Jess.. I know your sick of it... but Im trying my best to get over this.. Just some people it takes them a LONG time to truely stop liking someone. I just dont understand. He was nearly perfect to me. And the few flaws he had I just threw in his face. This saturday we will have been apart two months.... wow.. yeah... and I am still not over the fact that I cant have him back. I sometimes sit here and think well maybe when him and Kelli break up we can try again... but looking back I said that about Thomas too and now he is getting married. Maybe Nick will be different... geeze who and I kidding... it is over Georgia! I just am just too stupid to realize it I guess. In time.. maybe next year... I will wake up one morning and say hey it is ok to move on to someone else. I almost feel like I am turning into one of those girl who HAVE to have a boyfriend.. but not quite... I mean other than Nick I dont want anyone. He was everything to me. I think if I ever hear he is engaged I will cry. But this is what I deserve. I was a bitchy girlfriend to him. Always telling him to cut his hair or shave and little stuff like that. It wasnt my life. Why did I try to run it. ok... well I feel a little better.. tomorrow I will wake up and be in a better mood and try to forget about being upset! Good luck to myself!