today emily, em, erik, sandra, addie, addie s. joya, eryn, patrick and i all went to see 'take the lead'. it's strange, because it seems that addie and i haven't been clicking right lately. sandra and i, on the other hand, seem to be growing closer than we were before. i know andrea will always be her best friend, but i'm glad that we're getting together more than we used to. i digress. the movie was good. antonio banderas is pretty good looking and it was a feel good kinda movie. that movie and 'shall we dance' both make me want to take a ballroom dancing class. that's what i want to do when i get a steady boyfriend; take ballroom dancing classes. during the movie addie would say something to me, patrick, emily or sandra, but she would say it loudly. i would shh her, but then she would say it louder. i think it bothered me more than anyone. i'm one of those people who don't appreciate it when people talk in movies and i didn't want to ruin the movie for anyone. after the movie, most everyone was getting together at addie's for pizza. sandra told me about it and i couldn't go anyways, but i felt kinda hurt that i hadn't been told. i don't believe that it was intentional, but being left out has and probably will always be a sore spot or a paranoia. just because of middle school and my whole history with them. em called earlier that day, while my mom and i were at the gym, and she was probably going to tell me that, but i don't know. addie and i had never been particularly close. i've never really had a best friend out of the group, although most of them have had or still have one. addie was closer to me than alot of them for a time and i feel farther from her than ever. 'particularly close' means best friends, we were closer though. oh well, i shouldn't dwell. i know i can be annoying, but it still isn't fun (andrea at lunch and the exasperated 'good grief', but i got above 100 on biology, now didn't i?). some days i feel completely out of sync, and others completely in. i'll just leave it at that. mom and i went to monterey for dinner which was good. i need to be studying now, so good night moon. good night.