well, alot of shit is goin on adn i dont think neone will ever read this but i dont give a fuck. this is my good bye notice, but i have a myspace so i dont care, adn juggalo family to occupy my time ( except im on major groundation for being brought home by tha cops ) so bye people, and most likely,
NOT MCL
well...idk whats goin on. I dont think im coming home ne time soon. I talked to social services, i dont kno ne thng else to do. they said they cant remove me from the home so im screwed. But i have been blowing off all these guys , and now ive found one i kinda like. And ive been trying to get up wid danielle but i cant an dnobody can and im worried and i dont kno so...later
well...idk whats goin on. I dont think im coming home ne time soon. I talked to social services, i dont kno ne thng else to do. they said they cant remove me from the home so im screwed. But i have been blowing off all these guys , and now ive found one i kinda like. And ive been trying to get up wid danielle but i cant an dnobody can and im worried and i dont kno so...later
hah!! I dont give a damn! Fuck you all pretty much unless i tell you otherwise. Heheh... I could give a fuck less about pretty much ne one in rockingham, but i WILL be coming home just so you all know. This is to everyone. Eric, randy, i could not give a damn about guys and for you stupid fat ass bitches who hate me so much because a guy likes me and not them they can get over it!! FUCK YOU! To tha bitch who thinx hes tha shit and that im all in live with him, adn that he can tell everyone i had sex with him, ERIC, FUCK YOU! To tha guy who loox at tha other guy walking down tha street's aunts second husband's wife's dead son in law, FUCK YOU! Do you get tha point? danielle loves me more than ne one, even you nicole!!1 And I will be there for here and louie becuase we are juggalette homiez for life and death and she knos it and all of you will too because i dont give a fuck. with the exceptions of a few people then fucke you all haha!!Thanx for never returning my phone calls, or calling me at all! Thanx for calling me a whore coke head while i was gone!! FUCK YOU I DONT CARE BITCHES!!!SE YOU THIS CHRISTMAS!!!
Ive been calling since that day that you called me, when my phone fucked up i tried to call you back but it didnt work. So then I waited for you to call me back, but you never did so i called again and the internet was on. I have been calling you since then constsntly. not once has anyone picked up tha phone and ive left messages every time ive called you said you had something important you needed to talk about and ive really been trying to get up with you. I got an atreyu cd and tha wraith an dshangrila cd yesterday. And i was listening to it rains diamonds an di started thinking about shangri~La ya kno? And how fuckin wonderful it would be. perfect. And how i wished that louie could have it all. And i came up wid this idea.Why dont me an dyou like, write a letter to louie? With some imortant message to give to him then we can pick aan age like 13 or something And then we will wait until he becomes of age And then we wiol give them to him TO BE CONTINUED
yea. Im finally writing another. Im so fuckin pissed that danielle didnt get to tell me herself thta tha baby was a louie. so im pissed. but im more pissed because im stuck here wid this girl megan at her house and ive almost got ready to beat her ass a few times and i still aint talkin to her now because i aint puttin up wid this bullshit from anyone. I m only using her for money an dstuff and drugs. I did coke for my first time. It was good. I think im supposed to do some more tonight. I have to come up wid a plan to go home. Danielle said that i need to stay wid one one of my ppl for a week and then migrate to her house because of her dad. Well. a few more reasons im pissed off at her so yall will understand: if your underwear is darker than the color of your outer stuff like your shirts, than your a whore. if you wear a thong or g string instead of fuckin granny panties with askirt then your a whore. me and danielle are NOT the world, she told everyone that i said that i cant understand the words to most of the music i listen to because it screams too much, and that birth control is abortion. yea. go figure.
Shit is so fucked and confusing. So mama doesnt care ...oh shiut i just cut danielle on purpose and didnt notice cuz she wowuldnt shut up. Now you can say ive held a knife to her balls, anywayz, so i can be a drunk strung out on alcohol adn pills and be fucking adam long ( yes she told me she wouldnt care if it was adam) but i have a hickey on my neck from my boyfriend whom sshe has no reason at all to dislike, and im never going back over there again and all this bullshit. That makes no muthafuckin sense. Im serious. " oh we can listen to nigger songs like me so horny, an dyes you can fuck adam, but no you cant be around your boyfriend that you actually like." Im talking to kenny, have to because this is bullshit, and i cant put up wid that. She is not living my fuckin life. i cant do this bullshit, regardless of what she thinx, she is not in charge of my life.
...Thi is tha first time in forever that this sit has let me sign on to my diary hell yea!!! Well, im waiting on Jon to call me back, o that i can go over to his house aain today. I went over there saturday. We are dating again, thanx to Ashley etting me fucked up that nite, and my mom hinx i was on oxy cotton that nite!!!well....um..uh,....yea...DANIELLE YOU HAVE ALL OF MY CD'S!!! those bitches didnt say shit to me tha other nite at Saras. After all that shit they worte to me on tha website, and then everything i wrote them back, they didnt even pot another comment about me!@ but hell, im really fuckin scared of midget ass Felicia, and Hollie Stogner. Yea, hollie fucin Stogner is gonna bie me with her braces and ima have to go and get a tetanus shot. well...thats about it i think...Ashley, whats your photobucket site again?
Yes, tha music kind of fits. I think i have a partial plan for Jon...Kk, friday, LAF is playing at Saras saloon, and i called Bobby's yesterday and talked to his mom. Apparantly, jon asked if bobby was going friday, meaning that he is probably goin Friday... So, im going friday...oh yea, and Danielle too. Not sure how that's gonna go yet.. Me and danielle didnt go to tha beach afterall, but, we did aggrivate tha hell outta Jack at Night on 106.5 for playin gay music...and of course for not bringing her tha fuckin french fries. We left a bunch of messages! And i am liking a song now that i didnt expecet to like but i do..The Used and My Chemical Romance, Under Preassure. Danielle swears they are gay together, and now, im not so sure...but still, that is very sexy because they are very sexy and im going to eat them now... Hopefully all will go well with Jon friday, but, im gonna be realistic and say that it's gonna completely fuck up because it will, because he will have a girl there with him, even tho that won't be a problem, hasnt been in tha past, or other..things. Yea..( violated because danielle just poked my boob)
...ppl say " oh i listen to ICP and Twiztid and all that other kool funny shit so... im a juggalette/juggalo" ANd im not saying that those who listen to ICP are all posers, but when you claim you are, and yet you have always hated ICP and begin listening for like what, 2 days, and you kno you are not cut out for it, your a fuckin juffalo. So ppl need to stop bein what they are not. Tha whole society is gone to hell. We need to find our places, and fuckin stay there godamnit. Slipknot, ICP, everyone talx about. were fed up wid all these goddamned posers!!!
***me and danielle had a long discussion today about a very important matter. Why tha fuck do ppl not kno their own places?? Nowadays you see hardcore goth fuckers dating tha fuckin prom queen, lil skate board fuckers hanging out wid preps, niggers fuckin whites...It all started wid an alloy magazine. Preppy versions of arm warmers wid thumbholes...for preps...pink studed belts an dbracelets. wtf?? Ppl should be segregated like they used to be! Why do we accept this treatment??? We are fucking an dchilling with tha same bitches who tormented us an dmade us look bad and still do, and persecuted us for being different?? Tha prince of darkness made a song with tha king of crunk...who sees tha wrong in all this??? And tha linkin park bastards started this all!!And now, tha one thing that has NEVER and will NEVER tolerate this shit, ICP, has more posers than ever...
yes...blah. Well, nicole didnt come tonight to tha skatin rink. And me and Danielle are sittin here like..." Why tha fuck doesnt Ashley check her stuff???" actually, Danielle is like that. Because if you read Danielle's, you kno that she wrote a break-up letter. Anymawayz...sigh... found some shit out involving ren and Raegan, but i wont write about it. We went to tha skatin rink and I collected a large sum of money that happened to get thrown down my shirt by a # of ppl. My Buddy Bailey was there and i kept picking on him saying that lexi was attempting to steal him from me an dhe's like 'nuh uh no she's not' and resumed folowing me around, and Danielle aggrivated his little friiend that she calls 'J' ( Violoent J) because he loox like it an dsays bitch boy and she told him she was gonna steal his pants, rape him, make him suk her dick, and make him squeal like a pig cuz boy his mouth sure is purty!
i just dont kno whut to do. i fuck everything up and once i realize i had a good thing it's too late. Thats whut happened wid me and ren. Eric told me an dhim he still loved me, and ren knew i loved him, even tho ren is ten zillion times better. He left me so i could be wid eric, an dren had even said that he loved me, an dthat is apparantly as big a thing for ren as it is for me. But anyway, Jon tried for me. He really did. he really needed me. He was always let down. And i did it again. So now, im doing tha desperate thing. Im gonna by some liquor from a guy tomarrow, eric will only talk to me when im fucked up, and ima ask him why he did it an dif he still loves me. Danielle even swears he dos. She says even more than Stephanie ( really big deal ) And then ima call Jon and talk to him. And really hope that he is there to talk to me. Im counting on that. I dont kno, i just feel so abandoned
It all went well for me. I discovered that " I broke his heart", he " slit his wrists over me" an dnow he does crack. He went to hell over me. And then im apoligizing like hell ( its my fault to begin with. Alwayz is) and i have to leave ( we are skipping ALOT ) and he said he would call me but i didnt have tha same number so i was to call him. I didnt get up wid him. So then i wrote him a letter that basically explained ya kno, im sorry , i kno i have no excuse for what happened, all that shit, this is my new #, call if you want. But i kno him. Hes scared. Up at my face he couldnt help it. He could barely restrain from kissing me, he told me twice, but hes scared of getting involved. But in need him to replace eric because i will just go back to eric again if i dont find someone. And even danielle agrees, that he sounds like a really decent person, for her even.
well, now for Jon. jon Hildreth, firebug. I had him cheatin on Nikki Linton for 4 weex until he broke up wid her for me. It was...nice. Everything was good. He was not as assertive nad protective as i usually like, nor was he my regular tastes. but he was one depressed, crazy son of a bitch who reminds me of daddy and of something else... well, it was very good i think, there's alot of shit to it. But anywayz. We was at tha party, Mikeapalooza, and everything was all good at first. And some bullshit, confusing bulolshit, happened, and we ended up cheatin on each other. He ended up dating Crystal Blackman, who knew that he still liked me and shit an dfreaked out every time my name was mentioned around me. well, this leads up to tha other week at Molestock.
Actually, this is about when i was listening to it and 'depressed' didnt even cover it. Me and Danielle were both upset... Eric...Firebug... This will be long so it will be continued a bunch. well, for starters, let's clear everyone up: Eric Dunn. I dated him last year. Exactly. It was very complicated. He got ex-pregnant on me. And ive been trying to get back wid him for tha last year. It was perfect. Tha only person i ever fell in love with. well, anywayz, We just got back together, and i was really happy. But, he was different than he used to be. And..well, it didnt turn out well. I thought that he ( with his siezures an dheart problems ) was in tha hospital when he was really down tha road chatin on me ( thank you Aaron)Well, I left him, but it is very confusing, an d im still upset over it like i have been for a year now.
Well, this is tha beginning i guess. Um... Well, im either really hated or really liked. It's confusing, i Know. Well, i xut for basics. i got my reasons. Shit noone knos, except partially eric ( whom you will learn all about) and definitely my sister an djuggalette homie for life an death, Danielle ( flertkilla ) I do not put up wid shit either ( ashley, that guy yellin out tha car window) and i dont particularly like people. Im complicaed, you could say. And i hate this limited space... I love music. Marilyn Manson, Kittie,KoRn,Slipknot,Stone Sour, Silent Aggression ( hell yea local bands!!) that kind of shit. IC muthafuckin P and twiztid, Dark Lotus!!! My main people are Danielle, of course, ben Newton, Bobby King, all those people..and Dave Bailey's 12yr bro