i just dont kno whut to do. i fuck everything up and once i realize i had a good thing it's too late. Thats whut happened wid me and ren. Eric told me an dhim he still loved me, and ren knew i loved him, even tho ren is ten zillion times better. He left me so i could be wid eric, an dren had even said that he loved me, an dthat is apparantly as big a thing for ren as it is for me. But anyway, Jon tried for me. He really did. he really needed me. He was always let down. And i did it again. So now, im doing tha desperate thing. Im gonna by some liquor from a guy tomarrow, eric will only talk to me when im fucked up, and ima ask him why he did it an dif he still loves me. Danielle even swears he dos. She says even more than Stephanie ( really big deal ) And then ima call Jon and talk to him. And really hope that he is there to talk to me. Im counting on that. I dont kno, i just feel so abandoned