The Picto-Personality TestYou are a person who is very calm and kind. You go out of your way to help people who need your help.When alone, you let it all hang out and ignore every social convention.You are adventurous, always up to do the most extreme things. You have a certain recklessness that makes people very attracted to you.In the future you will be wise and healthy.Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com You most resemble Marlon Brando You are very smart, and very talented, although you don’t really enjoy social company. You prefer to live alone, go to movies alone, cry alone in the corner... Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com Your Social Dysfunction:Paranoid You show pervasive and unwarranted suspiciousness, and mistrust of others. You are overly sensitive and prone to jealousy. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com Please note that we aren't, nor do we claim to be, psychologists. This quiz is for fun and entertainment only. Try not to freak out about your results. Judeo-Christian Ethics (The Golden Rule) Essentially this ethical school of thought can be summed up in 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. Only do something to someone which you would like to have done to you in return. This is the ethical principal which is least prone to criticism. How you scored, compared to others taking this quiz: You Other Quiz Takers Judeo-Christian Utilitarianism Kantian Ethics Ethical Egoism Ancient Greek Ethics 'What ethical system do you fit in with?' at QuizGalaxy.com Wow....really weird. Your Theme Song:"Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2)" - Pink Floyd 'What is your theme song?' at QuizGalaxy.com Mary:Recipe for Love - 1/4 of a cup of sexiness - 2 heaping tablespoons of beauty - a heaping teaspoon of intelligence Blend together quickly and serve. 'What is your recipe for love?' at QuizGalaxy.com Mary Extremely Insane Passable Not Fit for Society Passable Click Here to Find Out YOUR Psychiatric EvaluationatQuizGalaxy.com You date like you are 32 years old. You are a very serious dater and are looking to settle down. You are probably already in a serious relationship, or are on the lookout for something very serious. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com strange What Pill Should YOU Be Taking? Patient Name:Mary Prescription:Maryonix Effects:Prevents bouts of craziness 'What Pill Should You be Taking?' at QuizGalaxy.com ummm...ok

Wow...I have actually changed my diary. I just got too lazy to do it for a while. I think that with my extra time during the week I might start exercising. I think it would be good for me, maybe it will keep me from getting too depressed or thinking too much. I was suppose to help Scott move today, now Mom said he's not moving the furniture today. Scott is reatarded. Actually I feel kind of retarded for being all depressed on the phone last night, which made Thomas feel bad, so now he is worried about me and I'm worried about him worrying about me. This is stupid too. I'm an idiot.

You scored as Punk. Okay!Punk87%Stoner74%Goth60%Emo Kid53%Jock33%Loner27%Hot20%Geek/Nerd7%"Ghetto"7%Prep7%What Highschool Clique Do You Belong To?created with QuizFarm.com You scored as Bisexual. Bisexual100%Lesbian90%Gay80%Straight40%Are you Bisexual, Straight, gay/lesbian?created with QuizFarm.com Bisexual Punk .....oh....who knew?

Yes, I really did. Oh shit. That is not good, or maybe it is good. I don't know. I hate holidays. And it doesn't even feel like Christmas. this really sucks. I wish he would have read it hear so at least I know what he is thinking. But no, he took it and left, so now I don't have a clue as to what is going on. Maybe he will come by today before I leave for my Mum's house. Hopefully. I think I will go rub my Ho Tai's belly.

Yeah...I think I just may have done something stupid. I actually gave him that fucking letter. I can't believe I did that. That was stupid. That's it....I'm an idiot. Stupid fucking jello legs. damn it. damn it. damn it.

Damn, damn, damn the jello legs. He actually came and talked to me last night, wasn't looking for me, but did come to the kitchen to talk.....damn lightweight drunk. Getting ready to leave after about 10 minutes of talking... him:"Can I have a hug?" me: *confused look* him:"You know you can still hug me." me:"ok" Jello legged and pissed at myself for being so. Damn, damn, damn the jello legs.

Here is a letter I have written...that shall be delivered later on today: "You always told me a penny for my thoughts, so now I'm going to give them to you. THis is not meant to make you feel bad or anything like that. It is just somethings that I think you should have known, but didn't. I guess your parents are right and I am just a stupid little girl. BUt I do know what I want out of life, even though it had been pulled away from me. I guess I will just have to get over it. These things I'm about to tell you are why I don't show people my "girl side". That side of me is an emotional wreck with a lot of problems. Even if all of this sounds stupid, or childish, I don't care, these are my true feelings and you can't get any deeper than that. *Everywhere it says "I should have said" is not an after thought, it is what I was thinking at the time. Here Goes: Remember when: You asked me how long I had liked you for, I said I didn't know. I should have said about three months. You asked me why I was dating you. I told you because you were sweet, you could make me laugh and you were a good guy. I should have said because now that I have you, I don't want you to ever go. When you asked me what I was thinking the night of our first date, when we were in my room, I told you the truth. I was thinking about one of my friends who had died exactly one month before. I asked you what you were thinking, you talked about my lip ring. I never answered you because I was playing hard to get because I was afraid of falling to fast and haveing everything moved out from under me and hitting the pavement hard. The first time I ever saw a shooting star was with you. The only time I ever saw them was with you. I haven't seen one since. I have looked and stared at the sky for hours looking. You asked me if you make my knees go weak. I said no I just lost my balance. I should have said YES! In fact you turn them into jello. You said the who ever you ended up with you would one day have to marry. I told you I would never get married. I should have said, I never even thought of getting married until I was with you. I thought the idea was grand. You said one day you would want another kid. I told you I never wanted kids. I should have told you the idea of finding someone and having kids with them, and then them leaving me, scared me. But I thought that with you, if it ever happened it would work, you didn't scare me, I didn't think you would leave. When I always said I was going to chop off my hair. I said it because I loved the look on your face when you protested the fact. I wasn't going to cut it off, just because you asked. When you asked me if Rikki would be pissed if I moved out, I told you no, she would probably just cry, I left out the part that I thought the idea was wonderful. You always said you were sorry for playing instruments while I was there. I didn't care. I love to watch you play. You asked me if I saw you staring at me that night in the White Elephant, I said yes, but I was hoping you would have said or done something more. When I asked you what you were going to do if Vanessa didn't change, you said leave her. I was hoping you would say come back to me. You always said you were sorry for bringing Ethan over. I wish you would never say that to anyone. You should never have to say sorry to anyone for having him with you. And know that I care for Ethan just like I would Eve, TIna, or Andrew. I care for them like I would my own children, the same goes for Ethan. You told me I was an "awesome woman", well why can I only find people who want to date me for a month or mess around with me?" I will finish the rest later.

Will/someone/just/please/shoot/me/now. Seriously/I/can't/make/my/brain/stop/thinking/ about/the/one/thing/I/can't/have. Or/is/it/the/one/thing/that/just/doesn't/want/ me. I/just/don't/know/anymore. Why/can't/it/be/as/easy/to/forget/this/one/as/ it/was/the/last/one. Why/can't/he/just/get/out/of/my/head. DAMNIT!!!DAMNIT!!!DAMMNIT!!! It/is/sad/when/the/littlest/things/remind/me/ so/much/of/one/person. And/I/keep/remembering/two/people. One/I/wish/would/come/and/see/me. The/other/I/will/never/see/again. Damn/the/broken/spacebar.

Why is it that the more I try to push it out of my head the more it seems to take up my every waking moment of thought. I want to be over it, or I want to go back two weeks. But it's not going to happen, I am the one who has to stay miserable when he is happy without me. Why does it haunt me that I wasn't good enough....why does it haunt me that I couldn't get it right, that I have done everything wrong. School isn't helping, I'm going to be lucky to graduate even though I'm trying as hard as possible....It's not enough....I'm doing all I can do, and that is still not working.

I really do think that these two songs more now than ever. The sitution and how I feel. .... .... .... .... .... .... Fuck You (Untouchable Face)~Ani Difranco: think i'm going for a walk now i feel a little unsteady i don't want nobody to follow me 'cept maybe you i could make you happy you know if you weren't already i could do a lot of things and i do tell you the truth i prefer the worst of you too bad you had to have a better half she's not really my type but i think you two are forever and i hate to say it but you're perfect together so fuck you and your untouchable face and fuck you for existing in the first place and who am i that i should be vying for your touch and who am i i bet you can't even tell me that much two-thirty in the morning and my gas tank will be empty soon neon sign on the horizon rubbing elbows with the moon a safe haven of sleepless where the deep fryer's always on radio is counting down the top 20 country songs and out on the porch the fly strip is waving like a flag in the wind y'know, i don't look forward to seeing you again soon you'll look like a photograph of yourself taken from far far away and i won't know what to do and i won't know what to say except fuck you... i see you and i'm so perplexed what was i thinking what will i think of next where can i hide in the back room there's a lamp that hangs over the pool table and when the fan is on it swings gently side to side there's a changing constellation of balls as we are playing i see orion and say nothing the only thing i can think of saying is fuck you... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... "You Oughta Know" ~Alanis Morisette I want you to know, that I'm happy for you I wish nothing but the best for you both An older version of me Is she perverted like me Would she go down on you in a theatre Does she speak eloquently And would she have your baby I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able To make it enough for you to be open wide, no And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me you'd hold me Until you died, till you died But you're still alive And I'm here to remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair to deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know You seem very well, things look peaceful I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced Are you thinking of me when you fuck her Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able To make it enough for you to be open wide, no And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me you'd hold me Until you died, til you died But you're still alive And I'm here to remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair to deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me And I'm not gonna fade As soon as you close your eyes and you know it And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope you feel it...well can you feel it And I'm here to remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair to deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know .... .... .... .... .... .... .... Yeah...great aren't they? Nice and fitting.

I've been lying to myself and everyone else. Telling myself I'm not attached telling them I'm not attached. Oh, but I was I wish then I wasn't. Oh, but I still am I wish I wasn't now. I told myself no, it's the kid I told them no, it's the kid. I lied to myself I lied to them. I should have known better than to believe. You would want me when you could have her. When you said you would never leave me for her. You did something stupid, so what. You were stressed out, so talk to me. It is kinda, why I'm here. You made a mistake, but you never told me. You lied to my face, but i wish you would have told me. You should have had, the balls to say. Hey I fucked up, I would have said. So, who cares you came right, back to me. I would have taken you back, and never thought twice. I still wish you would, come back to me now. Do you get the feeling, that you told me you have. When your with me, or was that just another, Of you cheesy pick up lines? Do you get that feeing with her, I really wish I knew. I still want you to, comeback to me. What is wrong with me, have I become so blind, so stupid. That I can't see that you, are happier with out me?

You confuse me....I don't know what to say. I don't want to hurt my friend, but I'm tired of being miserable myself. I hate this....It is driving me nuts. Sometimes I just want to slap myself, and tell myself to wake up from this dream that will soon turn into a nightmare. I don't want to feel like this. I like this feeling. "And who am I to be vying for your touch, and who am I, I bet you can't even tell me that much". Now what am I suppose to think, what am I suppose to do, I don't know what to say except, "fuck you and your untouchable face, and fuck you, for existing in the first place"

Woo...I'm moving out today...I have lots to do....First off, I need a shower....I smell...ew....and...I need to dye my hair...finish packing.....fix this sunburn, and oh yeah...drink some coffee.

******UPDATE****** About 5 people or possibly more that I don't know, think that I should date this person. Oh shit. Umuh...yeah. I don't think I wanna put a name in here just in case....but yeah, I think that they just like me as a friend...so I think I'm just gonna let it go and sit and wonder forever. I do that a lot. With a lot of people. It is terrible. *sigh* Ugh..I just dunno, I'm tired of sticking myself out there to only be stepped all over.

I had a strange day. I was told by two people that there is someone I should date. They told me at two different times. Strange. But I don't think I wanna take that chance in case something didn't work out, and then lose a friendship. That would be even worse. Oh yeah apparently we "would make a good couple". WTF? Thanks guys, as if I haven't been in an already confused state of mind....geez. You are so helpful. Now what the fuck am I suppose to do?

..........La la la la la......... I really need to get a life. ..........La la la la la......... Well everyone be sure to have fun for mr over the weekend.

What do you want me to type? ^^^^^^hahahahahahaha^^^^^^^ Yeap..my last entry was right...Many bad things now, and more to come

I have this strange gut feeling. I dunno....something is or will be going on...uhh....I'm so confused.

I'm going insane......why is no one online?!?!?!?! Aghhh....you guys suck. PPPHHHTTT! Eh, I need to sleep anyway. Or do my homework. It seems that lately the sleeping part of my brain has not shut off until after 11pm or much much later. Argh!

La de da....la la la la la. (oozing sarcasm) I was going to write down how I was feeling, but I think that my current mood sums it up.