girl in a bubble. a girl i was friends with in kindergarten doesn't eat anything because 41 kgs is too much for her and the hospital doesn't appear to agree but willpower can punch through lead if it wants to. and it does. and i can't make myself care. and i broke a boys heart and he says now it's falling apart and he's aching for the hospitals and panic attacks and will i take him back? no. and i can't make myself feel guilty. and last night, in his room, watching spongebob and the inside of his mouth, tasting cigarettes and comfort, it's all a big dream now. fade to gray, always gray. and the night before, swapping saliva like trading cards at the cinema, as blurry as the morning fog on the day he spat his soul into my hands. and i love him, i know it, but will someone let my heart know? i want to FEEL again.