Sometimes I can't take it. But in this sense, it's a good thing. I just look at the world around me, and I see so much beauty, and it just, awakens something inside me. It's like what Ricky says in American Beauty. "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in." It's so true. And that beauty can be found anywhere and everywhere. And I'm listening to Coldplay, which is probably the most amazing band ever. Tonight was amazing. Carly, Dennis, Jesse and I laid out on my trampoline and we saw shooting stars, and as we laid in the midnight dew with our heads touching, I felt like it should, and could, be like that forever. My friends are the air I breathe. I sound corny right now, but I don't care. If I don't express emotion, what kind of person am I? Today I was a little less than enthusiastic about hanging out with Jesse, since we've hung out every day this week, and at first, he was getting on my nerves a little. But then it was like, I don't know. I could be with him forever. It's a very strange feeling. Sometimes it feels like we're brother and sister. Other times it feels like we're married. I always feel like he's my best friend. He came with me to Duncan's last night so I wouldn't have to be anti-social alone. We sat in the cabin for two hours and talked and were mean to anyone else that came in. :-P Yesterday was so great with him. We went to the most beautiful place in the world. And made out on the porch of a haunted house, overlooking a private lake, in the midst of a thunderstorm. It was wonderful. You know, it's like that a lot. Sometimes we'll just make out forever, and other times we'll just be chill and talk. The other night when we were driving home, we had one of the best conversations I've ever had with anyone in my entire life. I realize now that we're A LOT closer than we were when we were going out. We've both chilled out, and done some growing. It's so nice. Anyway. Courtney, I'm sorry about that guy. Most guys=queer. Pretty much all guys=queer. Just think about how great it will be when you find the guy that =love. And you will find him. And you know I love you. <333 Coldplay lyrics time. Did I drive you away? I know what you’ll say, You say, “Oh, sing one we know,” But I promise you this, I’ll always look out for you, That’s what I’ll do. I say “oh,” I say “oh.” My heart is yours, It’s you that I hold on to, That’s what I do, And I know I was wrong, But I won’t let you down -Sparks If you ever feel neglected, If you ever think all is lost, I'll be counting up my demons, yeah, Hoping everything's not lost, Everything's not lost, When I'm counting up my demons. There's always one for everyday, With the good ones on my shoulder, I drove the other ones away. If you ever feel neglected, If you think all is lost, I'll be counting up my demons, yeah, Hoping everything's not lost. When you thought it was over, You could feel it all around, Everybody's out to get you, Don't you let it drag you down. -Everything's Not Lost <3