Maybe he's not what I'm looking for. Maybe what I am looking for is right before me and I have no hint as to what and who it is. Is this all just a stupid game that in the end means nothing because death ends it all? Or, is this all just because I have to realize who I am before I can realize what I really want in relationships? Perhaps my thoughts, emotions, feelings, are all just a mirage as to who I am. If only I had a sign as to what this all means in the end. -sigh- I just want to feel like I am worth something.