Today is April 10, 2009. I'm at Nana's with Brooks and Brandon. I work at Hookah Haze. That's where I met them and all of my friends. I've been there for almost 3 months. I dated Brooks but it ended and now it's a thing of some sort. I'm just glad he got a cell phone. By the way, I have work tonight. And I need sleep. My sleep schedule is of but it's my life. Court sucks. Yay end of spring break - hah. hah. Phoebe is living here, now. It's fun.. I may add more later. I love you. Amikar

Feeling: Good. Wow, it's been a long time and a long holiday break. Even after I made the last entry, I've found myself, two months later, back in my other house for good. Love life, and take what it gives you. Never give up. I landed my vault! Amikra

Feeling: Stuffy ( So, This is the beginning of my recent diary. The other negative numbers were from previous diaries that I didn't want to delete. ) Ew. I have a stuffy nose. Ew! Haha - not really, but it's not fun, either. *shrugs* Let's see ... Megan and I did "I-Remember-When's" about the Old Gym. At the end we realized that when we move again, we'll have to remember things from both the Old Old Gym and the Old Gym, haha. Wow - Good Times. So, Mother's been in bad shape as of late. *shrugs* We'll deal. Oh yeah! I wore hot pink and black striped tights today. =D It was so much fun! Haha - I'll leave you with that. Amikra

Feeling: old www.furiae.com ©Linda Bergkvist I see things I hear things I sense false things Again and again My paranoia's back No one to protect No one to witness No one to find the lost Again and again My paranoia's back I dance to forget I dance to clear the mind I dance to stop my attempt at thinking the false is there Again and again My paranoia's back Back to haunt me Back to curse my slumber Back to torment once more though not the last Again and again My paranoia's back I back away from the false of which I think is true by: Amikra *altered slightly from original writing

Hail to thee our lady of the Night Who holds us in the pale Moonlight When we gather to do you Honor Lady of Shadow, Lady of Bright Be with us this Hour This night when the Moon is full and White Amikra

Setting sun seen through that window, Night will pass us by, Without those dreary morning sighs That wilt to make us cry. My constant death, My only muse, He goes ahead and drinks that booze. Push and push and don't give up. He'll drown it down all in that cup. Away. Away. Away. Away. He won't find her with that sway. With 'X's and 'O's and terror she cries, She fights inside of her own foreign eyes. He'll never save save her and neither can I. Walking through that midnight dream- I'm sure he comes to hear me scream. Regret and grief will take me whole, To make sure he can see my soul; Intentions just to see me fold. Amikra

Motivation on the wheel. The only thing there is to steal. Standing in the darkened water, Soon to be another slaughter. There we'll be, Just to see, That we'll be, Going, Going, Going, GONE. Amikra

"Remember when getting high meant swinging at the playground. The worst thing you could get from boys was cooties. Mom was your hero and dad was like the boy you were going to marry. Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were who ran the fastest. War was a card game. The clothes you wore didn't define your personality. The only thing you smoked was the tires on your bike. The only thing that hurt was skinned knees & the only things that could get broken were your toys. Life was simple and care free, but what I remember the most was wanting to grow up." Amikra

Bat Country "He who makes a beast out of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man" Caught here in a fiery blaze, won't lose my will to stay. I tried to drive all through the night, the heat stroke ridden weather, the barren empty sights. No oasis here to see, the sand is singing deathless words to me. [Chorus:] Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn (all alone). Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction. My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone). No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention. As I adjust to my new sights the rarely tired lights will take me to new heights. My hand is on the trigger I'm ready to ignite. Tomorrow might not make it but everything's all right. Mental fiction follows me; show me what it's like to be set free. [Chorus] So sorry you're not here I've been sane too long my vision's so unclear. Now take a trip with me but don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem. Caught here in a fiery blaze, won't lose my will to stay. These eyes won't see the same, after I flip today. Sometimes I don't know why we'd rather live than die, we look up towards the sky for answers to our lives. We may get some solutions but most just pass us by, don't want your absolution cause I can't make it right. I'll make a beast out of myself, gets rid of all the pain of being a man. [Chorus]" -- Bleed Like Me Avalanche is sullen and too thin She starves herself to rid herself of sin And the kick is so divine when she sees bones beneath her skin And she says: Hey baby can you bleed like me? C'mon baby can you bleed like me? Chris is all dressed up and acting coy Painted like a brand new Christmas toy He's trying to figure out if he's a girl or he's a boy He says: Hey baby can you bleed like me? C'mon baby can you bleed like me? Doodle takes dad's scissors to her skin And when she does relief comes setting in While she hides the scars she's making underneath her pretty clothes She sings: Hey baby can you bleed like me? C'mon baby can you bleed like me? Therapy is Speedie's brand new drug Dancing with the devil's past has never been too fun It's better off than trying to take a bullet from a gun And she cries: Hey baby can you bleed like me? C'mon baby can you bleed like me? JT gets all fucked up in some karaoke bar After two drinks he's a loser after three drinks he's a star Getting all nostalgic as he sings "I Will Survive" Hey baby can you bleed like me? C'mon baby can you bleed like me? Hey baby can you bleed like me? C'mon baby can you bleed like me? You should see my scars You should see my scars You should see my scars You should see my scars Try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend Try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend Just try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend Try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend You should see my scars You should see my scars --- As the past rears it's ugly head. Amikra

Feeling: edgy Dedication to ______ ... Sleep it off. You say you'll change your way. Fake a cough. You say a lie every time, every day. No, you'll never be okay. Something short and simple ... but it really goes well to the person I have dedicated it to. Amikra

Feeling: me-ish So this is the song that I've based my other nickname on - Motthe. I can relate to it. The Moth The moth don't care when he sees the flame He might get burned, but he's in the game And once he's in, he can't go back He'll beat his wings 'til he burns them black No, the moth don't care when he sees the flame No, the moth don't care when he sees the flame The moth don't care if the flame is real Cause moth and flame got a sweetheart deal And nothing fuels a good flirtation Like need and anger and desperation No, the moth don't care if the flame is real No, the moth don't care if the flame is real So come on, let's go -- ready or not Cause there's a flame I know, hotter than hot And with a fuse that's so thoroughly shot away The moth don't care if the flame burns low Cause moth believes in an afterglow And flames are never doused completely All you really need is the love of heat -- No, the moth don't care if the flame burns low No, the moth don't care if the flame burns low So come on, let's go -- ready or not Cause there's a flame I know, hotter than hot And with a fuse that's so thoroughly shot away. Aimee Mann Amikra

These quizes fit my mood ... so most of them will probably be of a darker nature: Passive Black Wings Unlikeaggressive black wings, you do not wish toinvolve yourself with any form of humanity orliving thing, unless it is on your own terms.Darkness is where you feel the safest, whetheryou are alone (sometimes) or with a fellowpassive (you enjoy the company of your kind).You are not full of hatred, but rather a senseof alienation. You often find yourself saying,Why bother? Your wings are not tattered, for you have alwaysbeen hidden away and unexposed. What color do your wings behold? (darker nature) brought to you by Quizilla Your darkness lays upon Fear. You fear people forthe sole reason that they seem to not acceptyou for who you are. Therefore, inside andtucked away is where you feel most comfortable.Remember, the only person that you need theacceptance of is yourself. What does your dark personality lay upon? brought to you by Quizilla You depict the Dark Sorceress! The evil beauty ofthe bunch, you use your magic for manipulatingminds and preying upon feeble beings. The nightis your sanctuary and the moon is your guide. Which beautiful Sorceress are you? brought to you by Quizilla cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to beclose to your special someone and feel warm,comfortable, and needed What Sign of Affection Are You? brought to you by Quizilla White Dragon. You have the spirit of a WhiteDragon. You often feel loney, and despair, butyou're loving and compasionate. You wouldrather help, than harm. You are much more thanyou seem, yet won't show anyone, unless theyshow interest. Often times you stick toyourself, and let others lead on. What Dragon Spirit Resides in You? brought to you by Quizilla Your ideal weapon is a bow! You enjoy nature, and elegance. But you can stillkick some major butt. You are quiet at times,but that is all part of your strategy. What would your ideal weapon be? ~~ COOL ANIME PICCYS~~ brought to you by Quizilla You don't cry at least that is what you telleveryone.You want people to think you aretough,but deep down you are just like everyoneelse. How much do you cry? brought to you by Quizilla Your fated to have a Dark love.Probably a lover of things gothic, yourartistic and original. Although you're a lonerand independent to a fault, all you will needis him, and he will feel the same... Please rate aaaaand... eat chocolate bars?*cough*rate*cough* ^^ What Love are you Fated for? ~AWESOME anime pics!~ brought to you by Quizilla ~Solitary Angel~ You like to be alone. Away from people youhave time to your self, and time to thinkthings over. You hate crowds, the heat, theconfinitey, you want open space, a way to letgo to be free. Freedom is truly what you seek.Freedom is something gained, neverto be let go of. But alos something to share.Weapon:Katana" Freedom, a gift of the greatestvalue...wat i crave... wat i need" What is the angel form of your spirit? brought to you by Quizilla Amikra

Hey everyone. I felt like explaining my "Last Name" that I use on this site ... "Metuo" Latin - I fear. I fear a lot of things. In this context, it's literally translated 'I fear Amikra' ... well, that's true. I fear myself, my actions, and my emotions. I fear everything in and around me ... how I act and how other people see me. I fear that people can see through my confident act ... or at least it looks like real to me ... I fear Amikra ... myself. Amikra

Feeling: Non-Deep So I have a new challenge: I need to connect six front tucks in a row on the floor. It's against Big Johnson. I really really hope I get it. It's really hard though. Agh. I'm grounded for roughly ten days because I betrayed my father's trust. I can completely understand that and how he feels, but we really do need to talk. Now that I'm grounded, I'm supposed to clean things, so I have been. A lot. I'm kind of glad though cause I really like to clean. But usually I'm too lazy. Tomorrow I'm going to New York City so I'm excited. We're going to see Phantom. I've never seen Phantom of the Opera before, but I've heard good things about it. Wish me luck with my challenge. Amikra

Feeling: Astounded Galaxies, Black Holes, the Big Bang Theory, everything about cosmology and the universe is spectacular. I'm glad I'm looking at this stuff right now. Emotionally - Pretty well. Physically - Knee Problems and a Runny Nose So basically, I'm good. Amikra

Feeling: Frustrated Rudy is absolutely amazing and I love him. For him first, and then what he is capable of doing in all aspects of his life. Why can't I feel like this all the time??? Why do I always make him wait? I don't understand. I'm sorry. By the way, I chopped my hair off. =D Amikra

Feeling: Wavy In English, we're doing the poetry unit and I decided to do one of my poems on Eric because I found one pivitol point in his life that may have changed him forever. I wrote and wrote and it actually came out pretty good. I compared him to a Surfboard that turned into Waves. I like poetry. Amikra

Feeling: Hott Let's just say ... Chicken, Lube, Cucumber Spread, Vaginal Piercings. =D Yay A&P runs. Amikra

Feeling: Relieved I'm in East Carolina University! WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Just thought I'd mention that. =) Amikra

Feeling: Good It's been a while since I've been on here and I almost forgot my own name. That scared me. But no, it is Amikra Metuo. =) I hope everyone's doing well. And for now, I have found my Dream Lover. Will it stick through college? We'll see. *sigh* Amikra