My brain actively hurts right now

Feeling: despondent

I don't know how many people I've told to start journaling this year. This year has to be recorded, it has to be documented for our future selves or maybe future historians to see and read and feel.

Nicole texted me, using Siri while she was stuck in highway traffic, and said she wonders if she's more self-aware than others and if other people are self-aware at all. I told her she would really benefit from journaling and it's the only thing that has kept me out of a full-time mental institution for years, WHICH IS TRUE. And she's like "is this how you tell me that I'm mental?"

And no, not really. Everyone should try to journal at least. Put pen to paper or fingers to keys and get those feelings out in a real, tangible way. Also, your friends aren't your therapists, ya know? I have three best friends and two of them are my platonic life mates, and I try really hard to not overload them with my feelings all the time. We talk about our struggles -- work shit, dating, their kids, the pandemic, isolation, etc. -- but the big stuff, the deeper shit has to go into a notebook that no one will ever read. I've always been that way, though.

The lead singer of Eve6 has discovered Twitter in the last few weeks and it's been truly delightful. Today, he tweeted: "imagine if the worst diary entry you ever wrote as a teenager went double platinum."

I'm going to take a random diary entry from when I started this thang. Brb........

Jan. 7, 2004: "And I also got dumped on the second day of the fucking year by a 15 year old who isn't in touch with his feelings or something and can't deal with a girl who has a few little problems. Grrr....this is annoying me. I just want someone."

Seventeen years ago, not a fucking thing has changed. Haha.

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