go figure. ive gone an given up drinking once again. this will be the last time. i cant keep up with the drinking game any longer. i dont want too. it isnt going to be easy. already im replacing drinking with snacking and its getting annoying. so i think ill make this my overall life blog. not just about alcohol. but about everything. -------------------------- today ive eaten: spaghetti peas a few pringles and a piece of bread. im eating too many carbs and i dont like that. im craving sugar like crazy. due to the drinking. i was drinking nearly a bottle of vodka a day. basically an entire bag of sugar a day. my bodys gotten so used to it. ive got to balance my not drinking with my eating. usually i eat very little and pretty healthy. but right now im just craving anything. and everything. ill get a grip on it. right now im just freaking out because i want an excuse to drink. any reason to march on over to the store and buy a cheap little bottle. i cant. i cannot keep spending the last of my money on fucking booze. there is more that i need to accomplish right now. then getting faded. my damned phones off again for starters. i might want to focus my energy on that instead. ive been lazy the past 2 days and its driving me a little crazy. i need to get active. grrrr. i need to do so much right now. i dont feel like doing any of it. at all. except drinking coffee. sitting around. and watching television. im sure this will wear off soon. it has too. theres no choice about it. i hope i get paid enough to cover the rest of my rent. priority 1 stop drinking. 2. get active. 3. search out another temporary job. 4. focus energy on what i want and need. i hope this works. i have no choice this time. im doomed if i never stop. doomed.