Mendithas is a prime example that the only thing we fear in life, is fear its self. The idea of sex--of any kind of shared emotion in even the smallest exchange--frightened Mendithas to no end. He ran away from the idea of it, dismissing any idea of affection as a violation of virtue and a direct attempt to sin. Early in his life his mind had been mislead. Innocence, they praised. Nudity is sin, kissing is sin, sex is sin, love is evil. Arranged marriage, arranged life, arranged emotions; alphabeticalized and squeezed onto a shelf because privacy's only place is hidden away on a shelf and no where else. He had the chance of being saved from his Hell, only the chance of that was crushed by his seven 'sinning' sisters; honest women who did their best to cure him, to hurt him, to test him, to love him. Mendithas was led into the labrynth of vulgarity with cold hands, closed minds, and cruel intentions. Each experience grabbed him by the neck and thrust him forward into one uncomfortable situation after the next. 'Wrong' his mind told him. 'Good' his body told him. But when the mind disagrees, he can sway the body to surrender to the discomfort. And so each kiss, each touch, each new experience that drove him deeper into the depths of sexuality, at the same time forced him further and further away from enjoyment, trust, and understanding. He pretended to enjoy it, forced himself to want it, and in the end he always knew he had wronged. No matter whose hands touched him, even hand in hand, something didn't feel natural.
Such is the Mendithas complex, when the first start is the wrong start and this is true for several factors in life.
The only cure for the cold man who felt nothing and wanted nothing, was to find the one woman who could make him sense everything, along with a long dosage of time.
She would be the one who could put her arms around him and he would not feel the obligation to hold her, but the desire to do so. She would be the one to look at him with the eyes of truth, and he would never doubt her for deception but always percieve her honesty; she would restore trust. She would be the one to open his eyes to beauty, reintroduce his skin to sensation, teach his hands how to care; his mind, to love. She would be his break-through.
.Justina Dream.
[xograceybaby]
see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.
your diarys awesome. glad you said something. :)
[lupe]
and that I'm not dealing with that
But I still feel so bad for her :/
but i hope you know that i didn't write that, haha, it's by the killers.. so, don't give me credit for it haha! i just posted the lyrics.
thanks anyways for dropping by.
**keep it real**
♥