New diary. 2qrtrsnax3down Two Quarters And a Heart Down

So I guess I should write an entry telling everybody why I'm leaving. And why this is my last entry. There are too many memories and painful things on here. And everytime I log on its like I get flooded with everything I'm trying to avoid right now. Maybe in time I'll be able to think about it and be okay with the things that have happened, but right now I can't. There's so much about tennis, and the fall. And then all the stuff about skiing kills me. Espeically everything after Killington. I think I really hate him. And now there's stuff about Jake. And it was so sudden, I just don't get it. I guess I'm a person who likes explanations and the reasons behind what happens, and that suprised me so much, I had no warning, and I can't make sense of it at all.. no matter how hard I try. So this is done because I need to heal myself.

I am done with this Too many memories And I hate the past

Yesterday was the last day of school for the year. I am officially a junior. Weird. Anyways after school I went to Jake's. We just kind of hung around for a while and talked to the million people that stopped. Then Sara Davis and her boyfriend stopped 'cuase Sara didn't know where Purdy's was. SOOOO Jake and I went with them to Purdy's. He took us to this waterfall place and we watched him and Danielle swim :p Then we went back to Jake's house and sat around for a while and started watching a mooovie. Then I had to go home :( But it was like 8 o'clock and I'd been there since 11 that morning :p So I came home and did nothing... I didn't get up until like 11 this morning. And now I have to eat lunch and get ready for work. After work I think I have to go to Courtney's party, 'cause she's back from Iraq. And tomorrow... I get to do NOTHING! And Monday I get to do nothing and then go to Julie's party! :D Summer is going to be soo much fun this year.. I can tell already :D

Sitting here in the last computer tech class of the year. Yessssss! Michelle is finishing her powerpoint project. I updated her diary for her. Tehe. Umm, I had to work all weekend. Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Tonight I have off. Then I have to work Wednesday and Thursday. Friday I have off. Hopefully I'm gonna do something with Jake again :) Then Saturday I work. Sunday and Monday I have off and Monday I'm going to Julie's party. It should be a goooood time. Next period we have an accounting party. Yes. Then tomorrow we have a party in gifted that Keeny doens't know about. I love that. Today tenth period is the German Final which I am fully prepared to fail. YES! I'm so tired.. tonight I'm going home and sleeping. Period. I talked to Dustin last night on the bus ride home, and he was so funny. He was kind of upset about something.. and like I do'nt know it was just funny how he was acting and how upste he was about something so trivial. And then he came down to work and visited me for a while. PJ came down to..oh well. Karyn made me a name tag. I strangled her. Thats abot it.. Ii'm totally bored just waiting for Michelle to get done... So I can have somebody to talk to 'cause I'm bored.

New entry....? Yep. Nothing much happening. We disected frogs in bio. That was a party. And in gym we had great times picking on the little kids. Tonight I went to Jayk's :) Mega good times.... I'm tired though...

I haven't written in a week again. I seem to keep forgetting about this thing. I guess its just too much stuff connected to the past, that I don't care about anymore. So loads of good stuff has been going on :) Mainly with Jake, ahhh... :D So I hung out with him for like a half hour on Tuesday, but John was there. Oh well. Wedenesday I worked. Mega boring. Thursday.... tennis lesson. I love tennis. Friday... hmmm, came home finished packing, went to the campground. Slept. Saturday, got up went to Scranton with Aunt Susie. Went to the mall and stuff. Then I worked. Oh, and I had mega red eyes, and I didn't know why, 'cuase they didn't hurt... yet. Sunday, woke up. My eyes were totally stuck together and hurt like hell. I love pink eye. And of course there are no doctor's open on Sunday... So I sat in the emeergency room for 3 hours. Then I went back to the campground and ate pizza and wings. Today, packed up. Came home. Michelle stopped to pick up her fish.. and thats about it. She brought me a barf bag! :D And a Jack Skellington pen.. I was like yes :D Anyways... thats all :) I think we're gonna go get icecream or something

Okay, so I haven't written in over a week. Yay for me. Anyways.. the person thats leaving all those gay comments about Rezy, I don't like him. Get over it. Jesus people are stupid. Moving on... Sunday I started work :) Free icecream is always lovely. So I worked Tuesday and Thursday. Wednesday was the Honors Banquet. I loved my dress x3 But my shoes were totally hott. They lit up. Friday was awesome. PJ and Teed came over for a while and jumped on the trampoline, and then we went to Carly's to hang with her and Erin. We watched all three of the Lord of the Rings movies, what fun. And didn't go to bed until 6 in the morning. Got up at 10 on Saturday. Cookie (carly's mom) made us breakfast. Then PJ and Teed took me home I showered and worked until 9. Then I talked to Dan until like 12:30. Then I slept until after 1 on Sunday. And worked until 9. Then watched Grey's Anatomy. Today was school = boring. Michelle's in Florida :( I miss you!!!!!!!! And I'm feeding her fish for her, haha. Gotta love good ole Jaiter :)

This weekend was CRAZY! Friday went over to Kayla's after practice. Haha, GREAT times!! We even had a wonderful time at practice. At 11:30 at night we ran through the cemetary next to her house. Haha, great great great times! Saturday I woke up.. ate breakfast with Kayla... and then my mom came. We went to the mall and I got a hott dress for the honor's banquet. Came home and had a hour to get ready for Erin's. Picked up PJ Teed and Zach and went to Erin's. Stayed until 11. Dropped those guys off. Didn't get home 'til 11:30... I won second place in name that butt, haha Today I didn't get up until 11. Ate, now I'm talking to Dan and he's helping me... thank god.

Depending on how much I decide to type I think this might be a private entry. Monday was the Student Environmental Forum where we presented our projects. It went really well. And we got a huge catered lunch and then we got icecream at antols. Tuesday tennis practice was fun. Played and beat Blair 6-1. Played Gary and it was 4-2 but we had to quit. Went to Grandma and Grandpa's 'cause it was Grandpa's birthday. Wednesday I got my belly button pierced. And then Summer, Mom, and I went to Originals for supper. Mom let me drive the Trail Blazer home, which was like amazing, haha. Today I went to school. Very boring. Then went to tennis. Finished my set with Gary, beat him 6-2. Then played him again and won 6-3. Then Mrs. LaRue and I played Kayla and Harold, and lost. Suprising, no? I saw Jake when I was walking out of school and he was like WHEN ARE YOU COMING SKATING WITH ME?!? Haha, I love that kid. I forgot how hott he was. Got home, ate, took a shower, and now I'm getting ready to go over to the school to watch Ashley's band concert which should be fun. This weekend is going to be so busy. Tomorrow Lacey Kayla and I are going for chinese and then a movie. Then Saturday is Erin's party and I think I'm getting a dress for the honor's banquet. Sunday I start work. Yay! Free icecream. Okay, so yeah, I don't feel like getting into the crappy stuff, so this isn't private. Obviously.

Sooo party was loads of fun! Zach - "I WANT TO LIVE UNDER A BRIDGE WHEN I GROW UP!!" Julie - "We could like spray paint '07 and sign our names....or maybe not our names!" PJ - "We'll just put POPERIZATION" Haha, great great times. Today I was at Grandma's all day. And I drove a lot, haha. I love driving, I feel so mature and independent. Anyways, happy birthday to my grandma, and brian, and happy mother's day!

Well so... the past couple of days have been...full. My birthday was so awesome, I love all of you guys so much and thanks a ton for making it sooo great!! And Michelle, you make the most awesome chocolate cake and peanut butter icing!!! My sister got me the Armor for Sleep cd and the Snow Patrol one. Yes. And I'm soo effin glad that the bastard means more to you than my 16th birthday. -No-matter-how-much-this-hurts-this-is-through- I cried this morning, I hate guys. Anyways I think Kayla, Chelle, and Sfan are coming over RIGHT after school, then we're messing around until everybody gets here for the big party! Yes. We were gonna go to Price Chopper and fall in love with the lobsters but mom god all the food tonight :( In other news, I passed my permit test and drove today. Legally. SCORE! And I had a podiatrist appointment, but WHATEVER. Kayla and I had fun with Blair while we were watching tennis practice. Lol, good times. I'm gonna gooooo now though :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!

So there are only 3 days left until my birthday. May 3rd, and I'm finally 16. I always wanted to do something awesome to make it memorable. But I won't. I was thinking about it and I thought I'd do a little tribute to my past year. So here's to 15: Scooping icecream is the best summer job ever. People like a lot. Never skate in flip-flops. The Lawton Carnival truly gets more dull with each passing year. Except of course when its pouring down rain and you're with you best friend ever. Tendinitus is the most painful thing on the face of the planet. And it screws up a lot of things. My tennis girls are the best people on the face of the planet. The size of a man's hand truly does matter *wink* Homecoming is a great time to meet somebody, if you want to get screwed over. Play tennis with tendinitus, 3 blisters on your hand, and two blisters on each foot is really really painful, and results in blood-stained shoes. Its worth all the pain when you win your match though. And in districts when you win your first round match, Mrs.LaRue has a heart attack and flips out 'cuase she's sooo happy. German food makes you puke. No lie. Jagerschnitzel should be outlawed. Kissing two guys you like to find out who you like more is like fucking for virginity. It just doesn't work (right Michelle) Ski seasons truly get more interesting every year. Killington truly is my favorite place on the face of the earth. Even though last year I broke the zipper off my coat and this year I broke the whole toe off my boot. Yeah, I'm talented like that. Sometimes things happen that change everything and you dont even notice it. I love making out on the ski bus x3 Michelle, as a rule, always gets "violated" Never trust somebody when they say they love you. Apoligies after a big fight, two hours before you leave for a week long vacation really do mean the world. Who knew that "I miss you" could be my favorite words? The second fights are always a little less nasty, but always hurt a little bit more. And sometimes you have to say sorry even if you didn't really do anything wrong. Time works out a lot of things, so you just have to be patient. ^^ I'm still trying to work on that one^^ If you really really want something, annoy the hell out of your parents until you get it. Guys really do look hot in pink. With long hair. Oh my god, I'm drooling just thinking about that. Best friends always know what to say, and what to do when love sucks. Like coconut cake after you get your heart ripped out and chopped up into little pieces. Cartoons are the best medicine for heart ache. Its always good to know that the "prom from hell" will never happen, even though, you know, it wouldn't have mattered if it did *yeah right* Never say things you don't mean, 'cuase "you never mattered" burns a hole through a person. Skanky Skanky Hoes are the in thing ;) Best friends come up with the best Christmas presents. Like books, that make you laugh so hard and cry at the same time. And tribute speeches really do make somebody cry. Maybe I just cry too much. Progress Report:I am missing you to death. ^I really am. Sometimes you fall for somebody who's everything that you hate. And sometimes no matter how much you don't want to care, you care with everything you have. So here's to 15 you were a year so full that it hurts to think about it. Maybe 16 will be simpler.

I am so tired. And I just slept for an hour, go figure. Boys tennis match got cancelled today, which means I didn't get out of school early, which really blows really bad. Michelle did her english speech on me, and I like bawled when she said it to me. I felt like such a loser, but it shocked me, 'cuase I had no idea. Haha I love you chelle :) And.. mom should be home in like 45 minutes with Subway. I'm gonna go fall asleep again or something like that. .F.I.V.E.D.A.Y.S.

Today was fairly uneventful. Kayla gave me the funniest toon EVER. Best one yet. Good times. And the hose thing in english produced a great deal of laughter. I went to the tennis match for like 15 minutes, dad picked me up. I got my physical so I can get my permit next Thursday!!! And then I went back to the tennis match. Good times with Jessie, Sam, and Kayla! :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSIE! :D Umm, showed Brian, Hanj, and Gary the toon. Produced many great laughs. Ahh, today was a good day. I just printed invites for my party :) And I have to work on my speech. x3

Well, a lot has happened in a considerably short amount of time. I got an explanation, apology, and more hearbreak all in one last night. I cried so hard I was shaking. And this wasn't my fault at all I swear to God I am never trusting anybody again. Honestly, I trusted that information in three people... and one of them told. Some kind of a god damn friend. And it cost me somebody who I cared about so much. I think that I hate people. Sometimes I think it hurts more to be cared about, than to never matter. ^^^ Okay, so maybe not really... but I don't know what else to think about this. I am confused as hell.

Check out the new layout. Any thoughts on it? And thank you so much for making it for me iheartyoux3 Nine days And for some reason I'm not even excited. Go figure. I think its because of all the stuff thats going through my head. I'm supposed to get an explanation tonight, so that should be wonderful. I think that the truth is I'm everything that I hate

Wow. I didn't get up until almost eleven thirty this morning. I just got up, ate lunch, and watched tv. Then I got on here and read Michelle's private entry And I cried. So insanley hard Because I realized how stupid I've been. And I'm sorry I'm still not sure if I have to go to Aunt Susie's today, but I dont really want to. My mom and sisters are going to the mall tomorrow, but I don't think I'm gonna go. Mainly because I think they're birthday shopping for me, and I really don't want to know what they're getting for me. I have so much crap to do for my party. I haven't even made a list of invites. Part of me doesn't even want to invite a lot of people, but I know I will. Hmm, sweet sixteen. I have to go...

And I'm quite aware we're dying. Okay, I know I've said it a million times but I have the best friends on the face of the earth. Well, last night Kayla and I had some really good convos about her boyfriend and his obsession with Barney. Which is totally a lie, but its hilarious. So this morning I showed Kayla the cartoons that Michelle made me a couple of weeks ago. She was laughing really hard, and before english she ran up to me in the hall and gave me a piece of paper with toons that she'd drawn. Holy crap, I laughed so hard. She had somebody throwing knives, and dangerous penis attacking dogs, and a noose, and a deadly boomerang. AND the best part was she had shown them to Brian, but he didn't figure out that she really does not like him. God, I love her :p In English PJ was looking at them and he was like "I WANT YOU TO DRAW YOU A PICTURE!" So I was like okay, go for it. He drew a picture of me giving a certain person ex-lax and then that person with explosive diahrea. Gross, I know. But its HILARIOUS. Once again, my friends are awesome. I stayed after to work on the ecology project, but then Mr. Woolcock found out we couldn't do it. So I had to call my grandma to come pick me up, so I was there all afternoon, but I slept. Then I came home, yay. Hahah, and I have to go to Aunt Susie's tonight for Mike's birthday party. Erg, he's my cousin, but he's SO annoying. I'm just a bad actor Stuck with a shitty script All of my lines are cheap and the cast is weak there was no music for the first time I got kissed there was no femme fatal my mistress wasn't rich so I've been formatted to fit your TV screen the film went straight to tape I'll bow out quietly.