Sooo I'm sitting here at my friend's house while she takes one of those blasphemous pieces of brain exhaust I'd like to call the regents exam. She's taking Earth science. I feel her pain. I had a Colombian teacher for earth science...he was crazy......those crazy colombians...he rambled a lot...and you couldn't quite understand what he was saying. His voice was a mixture of Sebastian from the little mermaid and any random deep voiced messican. So now I'm here with a jumbled scattered brain and no where to fuse this energy but through here. Where no one goes. This site is slowly becoming dead to the world..I remember when the log in list would go on and on and on and there would be like 100+ new people who sign up every day. Or every other day or so... But yeah. It's interesting to see where sites go..how they fluctuate....and...my friend's chest just popped...apparantly...so now i must go. Short pointless entry. Yay. Hurrah! later my lovelies! <333

Well well welly well.. I'm currently sitting here with my elbow propped on my notebook with things to do. How productive of me. My eulogy will read as follows: "Here I sit, fucked and dead, with a list of things to do in my head. Literally." I'm sure that'll rise a laugh out of my fellow friends and family, but enough of my metaphorical death. Der Komissar's in town. Uh oh. Yes I just quoted a classic 80's song so shoot me. I'm well prepared, assuming I just wrote myself a little eulogy there. So this past month has been even slower than the last one. Let's fill you all in on what happened over the break with Monsignor Grizzly: *Fear and lothing/foreplay, chinese food/making out, pure fucking, videogame love making, donkey kong ass wooping, with the remote (oh it was kinky ^0^) And I'm done being a smart ass. You get the drift, we laughed, we cried, we fucked, we ate, we were human. Yes, human, I felt human. Finally... He is the single most person in the world who can make me feel loved and completed. Our love hasn't died, even after spending so much time with each other that week every day one should have become sick of the other but didn't. The only teensy possible flaw in that week was the outcome a further date away to the present: possible pregnancy..(which I'm getting checked out on Wed.) Creepy eh? You know what else is creepy, besides the fact a 17 year old like myself could be pregnant? A slimy, nearly microscopic organism similar to myself with combined genes of my love and myself growing and getting bigger by the day in the uterus which lies behind my veil of flesh in my stomach area. I always found that mind boggling/depressing. So besides this somewhat pimple rising stressful time life is good. I've been talking to Grizzman every day pretty much. These past couple of days have been spent walking around for ridiculous hours in downtown manhattan. I swear, Matt, Bonner, and Derrick are my three most favorite people out here. Without them I have no idea where my mind would be. Probably somewhere swimming in the dark dank toilet sewers of my conscious. It amazes me how my mind used to work, and works presently. I'm baffled. I'm listening to an old zeppelin song that I first heard in Freshman year...which is the year I seriously started to get into drawing..I drew this hellfire induced toppling head with a maze inside...don't ask me why I decided to think of that...oh well.. I'm now feeling my mind sinking and sliding to that old comfortably welcoming place where thoughts of brutality, mutilation, and ravenous killing brew. I'm going to go tame the wild beast that snaps at my brain like a steak by a string. It's an odd feeling..almost like your insides are going to spew out acidic black and purple fluids and rapture around everything, turning it midnight blue... what the fuck am I on?....Fuck the sliding, emo brain I'm gonna go watch Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Farewell my lovelies!!!! I'll leave you all with this thought: Z?

...From here to Tiananmen Square. Oh yeah mother fuckeeeerrr I'm gonna kick your fucking derrierierrrieeeerr. Let's see. I have not been doing much at ALL. Homework, talking to meh lover Grizzleh, and dealing with my psychotically raged mother o.o She's a) Accusing me of turning anorexic. b) worried about my colleges. c) worried about her job. d) pissed off at the entire world and its full existance. So reason d) doesn't make the situation(s) any better at all. In exactly one week from today I will be in California with my love ^_^ I can't, honestly, be any more excited than I am right now. This past month and a half has been the longest month and a half of my entire life in all my experiences with months and halfs of them. It's hard sometimes to be fully enthusiastic about things when there's other things on your mind...like sex, where you're going to be in 8 months, and how you're going to get to where you want to be. It's disheartening when failure is feared becaues it stops you from doing what you want. That's my issue these days: fear of failures. So why try?...That's what my mind likes to con me into thinking even though I know, as Jenna, that it's not true. Yet I do it anyway. Excellent strategy.. I wish I had help. I feel like I've been misguided these past four years. My parents have never been there to help me. No one has been here to help me except for my friend who's already graduated and all the way in California. I have these feelings sometimes though that I'm supposed to know, myself, what the hell to do. Like I'm supposed to know what to do right off the bat. I wonder how people get straight A's in highschool. I've been told my mind is A worthy but how do you analyze things and apply them to what you do? Mental blocks cause failure. And deep holes... Yes I said 'deep' and 'hole' in the same sentence, get over it. So for now my rant will come to an end. That's what went through my mind and has been going through my mind. I wish I had a personal life sorter. Farewell my lovelies

...I look like I'm dead and I dress like a homo....*bounces to song* I MUST BE EMO! WOo anyhoo. yeah . First off, I HATE, emphasis on HATE, my chemical romance. That whole emo thing? Yeah. It is all a joke. ALL OF IT. Secondly, I DESPISE, emphasis on DESPISE, labels. They're funny when used as sarcasm but when people are serious about them it's the most hysterical thing I've ever seen. Not to mention sad and pathetic. Third...I don't remember a time when I was ever apathetic......So this whole thing doesn't describe me. At all. So don't get any ideas. Just thought I'd put that out there. Thank you very much. Moving right along. Lately I've been caught up in my love interest the Grizzly-Ben. Yes. The Grizzly-Ben. There have been many conversations at least 6 hours long on the phone at a time about the most randomly wide ranged topics from radioactive mutated raccoons to b-horror movies to fucking in a coffin. Our conversations most of the time don't make sense. Our senses of humor don't make sense. Our minds don't make sense. We don't make sense. How we fell for each other so fast doesn't make sense. Hell, how we met doesn't even make sense. ALL OF IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE!...Yet I love it and him anyway. Because. Of its unusualness, and extreme emotionful passion interweaved in it all. Wow did I say that I love him? Ok. My fingers are typing faster than my current thinking speed. That's the only new, relevant, and interesting thing that's been happening in my life at this point. School is complete and utter bullshit and I don't want anything to do with it once I graduate (which is in oh 5 1/2 months by the way *extreme happy dance*)Welllll *RUNS OFF* Farewell my lovelies!!! <3

Well well well... I wrote in fall and it's now winter...what a surprise..that's so like me -.- Everything's been crazy. This senior year is really um..how do you say...like every other fucking year spent in high school? nothing is different except maybe my personality..and maybe my mood isn't helping me think straight either so i sound a bit cranky ._. CUT ME SOME SLACK! it's difficult being sexually frustrated and having no one to take it out on damnit! >_____> Let's see how many emoticons one can type in one entry....jesus BRAIN FART @___#

Fun times...I just carved a pumpkin and it looks like it got shot in the head ^_^ It took me about 50 minutes to do..it would've taken less if my mom hadn't been over my shoulder stating her smart ass comments. It's just another one of those moments where you bicker with someone over something simple which is what makes it all the more frustrating. Oh well. I need to get out...I feel stuck. Not only am I recovering a chest cold but I was grounded and now because of my spur of the moment way of going about things no one is around. I was kind of hoping to see Saw II as ridiculous and stupid as it sounds but it's too tempting; Halloween is sooo close. Speaking of Halloween..I'm gonna be Johnny the Homicidal Maniac ^_^ I'm so excited..I'm gonna come into school wearing fake blood and what not..if only I could bring in a few knives..but that's illegal..>.> That night, I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm supposed to go to CBGB's with a few people from Mass, but the dudes aren't complying fast enough for my taste. So I'll probably wind up going to the village, trick or treating, and scaring people in central park. ..........I made pumpkin pie today....it was yummy... .... ............... I got my period yesterday.....I laughed to the point where I bled myself. I'm wondering what would've been worse: peeing myself or bleeding on myself. I really don't know what else to type about right now, I'm not really in a typing sort of mood..more of a thinking sort..... Farewell my lovelies..or what's left of you ._.

Ok so about the strange title of the last entry, I went to this store called Abra-Cadabra. No it's not a magic shop. It's a halloween prop store and it's fucking AWESOME! They have so much cool shit there! It smells like the haunted mansion at disney land... They had things like a giant abombidable snow man, rubber doors with goblins and blood on them, racks of full body costumes and shelves with the separate heads on them, coffins made out of cardboard, cages with mangled corpses in them, signs warning the customers off, bondage whips, accessories for the costumes that come in the plastic bag, cluttered sections of halloween props in the center of the room..and to top it all off....a parrot..yes..a real parrot. that roams the store. I went with my two dorky friends Matt and Mike. Haha they're so crazy. i love them. So yeah that's the story behind that. Today i'm cramping and suffering the wrath of my mother...i can't do anything next week except go to the billy idol concert. i'm not allowed out. -.- but whatever. i dont care. it's like i'm immune to her yelling at me. she seems to do it all the time more, each time getting more and more irrational. ugh. what can you do. Guh i wanna get strunk..badly.... Well im gonna wrap up this entry with one thought............................ shit..i forgot it...whatever. farewell my lovelies!

ok. EVERYONE needs to get the new system album. I dont care about your musical preference. GO BUY IT OR DOWNLOAD IT!!!! WEEE!!!!! Anyhoo. HI! Well. I'm doing quite splendid at the moment. Hyper. I had a toasted peanut butter and fluff sandwich..with grape flavored juicy juice. So tasty. But sadly, that was the last box ;(..so depressing The thing that's uplifting though is that school is ALMOST over...the home stretch!!! HOORAY!! Fuck fuck fucking fuck i wanna get out of here. I want it to be summer so badly!!! ookkk just zoned out and forgot i was writing an entry and what i was writing so that doesn't work...i'll write another entry later..farewell my lovelies

HI! How in the fuck do you get these annoying songs OUT of your head?!? They never leave. For daaayyss. Then, once you think you've gotten rid of it, it comes back. Sneaky bastards. I think i need a song exorcism. Anyhoo..I'm slightly non entertained on this fabulous saturday...I'm waiting..till the time..when i get to leave to go to this velvet revolver show! HOORAY! To be honest, i've only heard like two songs from them. Eh. oh well ^-^ I'm insanely excited anyway. Im not on the floor. im like..in a seat. but i wanna fucking mosh. >_< so im gonna talk to my friend about maybe sneaking to the floor. *GASSSSSP* AND MY MOM'S FUCKING EATING MY CHEETOS!!! Grrrr..i might as well go get my own bag sometime later. Plans for the weekend: concert and homework. Ugh. Die essays dieeeeeee....chem too......might as well shoot down math b while we're at it. Ok. Tell me im not the only one who takes random pictures when they don't have anything else more productive to do..please. It's so fun when you have these stupid pictures of yourself. but then like. if you send them to people they could black mail you. SO i guess it's a good thing im not posting any pictures of me on here ;PPPPPP. HAH! no one knows what i look like..hahahahhahahaha..i could be anyone...would you still comment if i was ugly!?..i wonder..i know im not ugly..but i dont think i'm DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. Hmm.. It's strange how people in general are so judgemental when it comes to looks. ESPECIALLY the media. Like..actors are sometimes chosen based on their appearance..and they also say though...that they judge you on character. What if you're ugly, with shit loads of character....what would they do with you then?... Suddenly im thinking of serial killers...... OK im gonna go get some cheetos and BREATHE. Farewell my lovelies!!!!

Ok. So. I've had this song...the numa numa song stuck in my head..for the past five days. I got my friend to download it..and she sent it to me. Guess what i've been listening to all day?..so when i got home i couldn't take it anymore. i had many cookies in milk, and I put that numa disk into my boom box, blasted it, and danced for like an hour. to the same song. i went to go change and never put my shirt back on..went back to dancing..topless. i had the time of my life. guess what i'm listening to now... Yeah i know. pathetic. but i can't help it!! Anyhoo..so school is getting better! Life's getting better. i haven't been online since like yesterday.....but before that...in 4 days! aw sheet its over.... Guess what i'm listening to again. ok i have nothing else interesting to say. but i bet i left people to their odd imaginations of me dancing around in my bra to the numa numa song...mind you i almost fell like 5 times -.- oh well. ANYTHING FOR A GOOD TIME! later on my lovelies!!

WELL today has been fun. And most exciting. One of my favorite movies of all time, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, played at the Tribeca Film Festival tonight!!!! I went with my two good friends Mike,A.K.A. Bonner, and Matt ^-^ They're so friggin awesome!! Anyway so yeah we went there and it was FUCKING COLD!!!!!! AND they were giving away free blankets but..you had to have an American Express card to get one -.- So the whole time we were freezing..until Bonner's mom called..saying she got us blankets. This was at the last like..half hour stretch of the movie. But ohhh my god i haven't seen the movie in awhile so it was funny!...I saw Spamalot in like..march. So it was nice to like...see the movie again. But it was way to mother fucking COLD!!!! sweet jesus..i'm like still shivering now. So that was my night. Fun. I figured out where to go completely on my own...with the help of some friendly folks on the street along the way but still!! ^-^ and! i didn't get lost in the process of it at all. WOO! Tomorrow morning. In approximately...9 hours im leaving in car service to the air port with my dear dear father and marvelous mother to go to virginia beach. There i shall find a friend named Mike who I will be hanging out with for the course of my one week stay. HOORAY!!! Should I have feelings for him? No. Do i have feelings for him? somewhat. Why you ponder? because i'm an idiot who can't get over the ex's that brought me happiness and left me with a couple of scars. That's why. Is that such a crime? Read about my patheticness in past entries where i'm ranting about Chris. OH YEAH you think i'm over him?? pshh..on and off constantly FEELINGS ARE THERE...feelings then go away..THEN SUDDENLY THEY'RE BACK...then POOF they're gone....then i'm in a doozy about his feelings..and its just...grrr..it's stupid of me to even consider either of them because we're geographically challenged. One's in california the other is in bumfuck virginia. WHEN THE HELL AM I GONNA GO TO BUMFUCK VIRGINIA TO VISIT?!..sheesh...i dont even know why i'm re-getting into this. I'm tired. And i'm slightly concerned. and i need to sleep..which is like saying i'm tired...but with a different word......used in the same way..so technically i could use either word if i so choose and i did choose both of the words just at different times but it wouldn't have made sense to do that because i could just use one word or the other one........when i get like this it means i'm thinking too much aand that i'm burnt out ^-^ nonsensical nocturnal jenna. Get used to it. Goodnight my lovelies!

WHY DON'T ANY OF MY ENTRIES SAVE ON THIS MOTHER FUCKER?!?! OKAY! SINCE I'M REALLY PISSED NOW I'M GOING TO ABRUPTLY EXPLAIN WHAT I HAVE EXPLAINED FOR THE PAST TWO ATTEMPTED ENTRIES. -.- jesus christ on a crucifix.. OKAY! SO! I found a razor about in november. Bought one rather. And used it to fulfill my "odd" fetish of blood. I'd rather not taste my own, but i have no choice in the matter. ANYWAY. The day before yesterday, my mom got really pissed at me. Grades this, grades that, you're a bitch, stop acting like a stoned punk, blah blah blah...*door slams* you fucking piece of shit. Well. All this fighting and commotion made me actually FEEL quite like a fucking piece of shit. And there wasn't a god damned thing i could do about it because i had to get my sorry ass up and do what? HOMEWORK! HOMEWORK OF ALL THINGS DURING THIS MENTAL CRISIS. So what do i do? Go to my coffin box with a skull on it ( go fucking figure) and find my razor right where it should be. I sit and plunge the edge down the side of my hand, using the bleeding mess to draw "pretty" pictures with. Now as horribly "emo" this sounds to one who doesn't know me that well, that wasn't me. That was some other inner form of jenna who decided to possess her. Now there are four marks on my arm: three done for the taste of blood. One done the day before yesterday which is currently covered in a band-aid for no further questions from strangers and friends. Those two different types of cuts on my hand are the two different types of cutters i've known. Ones who are like me and like the taste of blood. Others who feel like they have no control over a situation and are clueless as to how to release their pain. OR they can't feel anything and the only way to know they're feeling something is to use their trusty razor. When things are used as a crutch is when they start becoming a habit. Drugs, for example. When you smoke pot, you smoke it for the fun feeling of being stoned. But when you inhale that joint for the purpose of forgetting your boyfriend, that's when it becomes a problem. Same thing goes for alcohol. SO through this whole observation on myself and other people who have gone through the same form of helplessness, i now understand what it's like and can no longer laugh and pity the fools who listen to my chemical romance whilst cutting fantasy novels into their forearms. Not that i'd EVER resort to that exaggeration but you get what i'm saying. There are PLENTY of other ways to get rid of assumed misplaced feelings. P-L-E-N-T-Y. but the one obvious way to fuse an emotion is by a simple conversation/confession hour. People need someone to listen to them during their times of helplessness..maybe they just need some empathy so that they don't feel like the wounded victim. . . Hmm....I really dont know what else to say. I feel like if i say anything more i'll start talking out of my ass. SO i bid everyone farewell for tonight. Goodnight my lovelies!!

OOOOOH MY FUCKING GOD I WROTE THIS LONNNNNGGGGGGG ASS ENTRY THAT TOOK ME LIKE 20 MINUTES TO WRITE AND IT DIDN'T SAVE!!!! oiajwoiejrij..... ANYWAYS! happy 4:20!!!!!!!! you know what would be great? if like..we got off for celebration purposes for every drug. DO you know how many vacation days we'd have!? AND! we'd like. be off for the purpose of taking the drug?! DO YOU KNOW HOW AWESOMELY ILLEGAL THAT WOULD BE!??!no i'm not a druggie. i just thought i'd say that. I have much much much MUUUCCCCCCHh more to say. but i'll say it all tomorrow once i cool down from this long entry wasted. it would've been a record...longest entry written by jenna. DOWN THE DRAIN. thanks to...some unknown force that hates it when people write ridiculously long entries. okay well i'm off for now. goodnight my lovelies!!!!!!!

...Don't ask about the title...i found it on oneof my papers...for slavery.........go abolitionists O.o.. YEAH! i dont know. i haven't been up to much lately. I can't really get the creative juices flowing. its like...a writer's block...yesah thats it. a writer's block with this specific entry....ummmmm i feel like im stoned because im so tired..my eyes just rolled to the back of my head for a minute and i thought my head was spinning...is that normal?.. Tacos..... i want them.......... SOMEONE FIND ME SOME!....im hungr.......y.. im not really in a talkative mood i guess. this was a pointless waste of an entry, space, time, and energy for you readers reading this pointless entry and therefor wasting your time, energy, and poor little minds by reading run on sentences that just never seem to friggen end because run on sentences just keep going and going and going for ever and ever and stuff like that because sometimes people are really poor at grammar and can just ramble forever without even realizing that you CAN put periods at the end of your sentences and that it's really truly not a crime to do so and like i think im done with this whole run on sentence thing because i can't really think of anything to say because, like i said before, i have a slight writer's block. i bet it was a relief to see that period wasn't it? ;D ok . well i'm gonna go rest my poor little eyes and i'll be sure to write a better entry some other time...g'night! Farewell my lovelies!

"It's strange how a family can be torn apart by something so simple as a pack of wolves" Am I right?...random quote..dont ask where i found it.. Anyways. happy belated whatever holiday just passed..... Not in the holiday spirit anymore anyway..thank GOD it's over...i really dont know what to say, im just really ticked off right now. Procrastination always gets the best of people, especially me. For some reason it acts as some sort of addicting creative habit, you can always find something to ensure your procrastination whether it be staring at a blank piece of paper that should be filled with writing or watching the fire burn. My procrastination takes form of audio waves. They've been tearing and pulsing in my mind for quite some time now. OH. have you ever felt different feelings for two different people? And on top of that have you fallen seriously behind in school? on top of that zone out from music? on top of that become slowly so incredibly sick of yourself you feel like those stereotypical "emo" kids who sit in their rooms in the dark cutting themselves wishing that they could step out of themselves forever? On top of that wonder where the hell these run-on sentences are coming from?...Who the fuck knows. I want to go the easy route and just cut myself off from the outside world, you know..isolation time for a little bit. but no. the real world doesn't allow you to have time to yourself. it just always wants you to keep moving forward and working and somehow magically keeping composure and optimism! Its enough to make a person like me sick...im already sick of me enough why be that way only to find that im even more sick of myself?...any advice on HOW exactly to "love" yourself?...i wish i could find that happy place again... One word: oy. Four words: self pity is ridiculous

Well here we go again with the holidays: the dradels, the star of david, the reindeer, santa's fat ass getting stuck in the chimney spreading happiness and love across the nation. Shoot me please. The only good thing about the holidays is being with family and seeing how creative my parents can get as the years pass and i become older. Its sad to remember that i went from wanting ponies and fairies, to wanting death metal albums and violent books. What the hell happened to me? Someone must've tampered with my well being. For all i know, i'm not well [; So today was pretty ordinary: drove myself to khol's, did last minute shopping as usual, last minute wrapping as usual, and preparing for 2 hours, driving, with a driving instructor for my license test on tuesday. Im hoping i dont shit my pants that day.im scared out of my mind..x_x So im very out of it now, with a headache and this mentality of a stoned meat head, although my writing seems to prove me wrong.. um my feet are cold and i haven't eaten in 7 hours..anndd i have too much homework to make up. OH! and on monday was the most exciting day of the week. I went out with one of my online friends, chris. WHEE. you might've read about him in previous entries where i'm gushing about how much i love him. w/e heart breaks happen but now he is one of my best friends so yeaahh. uh thats out of the question. Moving onward, we went mini golfing..fell over about oh 472398472 times...cheated 9829843 times, threw a golf ball on the freeway..almost hit a truck, went to mc donald's and slid on the slide sitting on food trays. much much much fun. I really dont know what else to say but this is an extremely long entry. Rambling in full force yay. Have a good christmas, kwanza, cult get together, whatever the fuck you all do at this time of year..have fun doing it ;D Farewell my lovelies! <33

Well again, as i always seem to start off my entries these days, ITS BEEN WAY TOO FUCKING LONG!!!!! I haven't been updating at all due to laziness and dazing often. But thats alright since i'm ending this dryspell of entries now ;D SO. New things that have happened lately: got a bf, dumped him, got a new one, failed law class, got busted by my parents in catalina for drinking, lost a best friend, got a kitty, chopped my hair off, dyed it red, ignored this site for months on end, went to cbgb, got drunk, found a liking for beer and all things liquor, tried weed twice, no effect, got my wisdom teeth pulled, got a liking for vicodin, found my dad's stash of vicodin pills, he kept the three remaining prescribed pills, i have a pimple and thats all i can think of for now. Junior year of high school. Jesus christ and all things holy i'm scared out of my mind. The school keeps putting awful thoughts into our heads about failing, doing poorly, and doing bad on the SATs...its like we're not allowed to have lives or something!!..why can't we just murder them all and get it over with.. I've missed this site. Good place to get everything out. I bet everyone who i used to talk to on here has either died, forgot about me or hates me ;D SCORE!!!!! Lets seee....i dont know what else to say for now....im gonna go read comments and comment and read some more ;D Farewell my lovelies!!!!!

WELL. i've slacked off for two months on this thing....oy. and i dont know what to say anymore..ERm.. i've cut my hair off and donated it to some balding kid infected with cancer ;( hopefully they wont grow to hate the blonde. aaaanyways. erm..its now blackish purple..and..yeah. thats it on the hair.. i got a kitty..a little ragdoll kitty..and he's nameles...first name was rasputin...then changed to raspie due to the parental outlook that the man was the incarnate of the devil and the cat shouldn't be named after that-.- then kallua..which sooo didn't stick. so now i dont know wtf to call him. oh well..hes a sweetie..even my dog likes him..well humping him anyway. I've also been driving..today..was weird though. there was construction around valley circle today..and..there was this construction worker dude in the car thing..my awesomely cool instructor, sylvia, was like: look over there..that guy's smiling at you. i looked at him and flipped him off and drove off..i swear. this hair of mine is gonna get me laid m/ I really dont know what else to say except that my brain is completely scrambled.. so i'll try my best to update as much as a i can. much love to you all! byee!

Well! its been over a month since i've updated on this thing. I've been online more than i've slept so i have no exuse for not updating besides the fact that i forgot. Which..isn't a decent excuse anyway. Moving on: I haven't been doing a hell of a lot, since i've been online so much. I have no life...because all of my friends are away on vacation making merry and having a good time. With out me. As i sit here and rot in my bedroom. With nothing else to do except find a new subject to burn. Actually, so far i've burnt animal cookies (the heads, mind you), a green crayon, a multivitamin, post-its, and a few strands of hair. I plan to burn skittles, altoids, starbursts, stickers, cotton, and stuffed animals. Yes, pathetic and useless i know. But hey. It should kill some time before i see people. You must think im some sad sick pathetic loner. Well guess what, YOU'RE RIGHT! ;D I've been pretty decent, minus the fact that i've been rotting in my own thoughts for god knows how long. I can't drive anywhere by myself because i only have my permit and my dad doesn't trust me with the car yet. I've only been driving for like.what.....a month?? not even. anyway, if im gonna drive i drive with an instructor. And if i dont drive with an instructor i'll drive with my dad. And as far as i'll ever get is trader joe's. So yeah. I'm pretty much screwed with transportation. I shall update more often, and i shall go sneak sips of small bottled portico wine with 19.5% alcohol. I forgot how to do the proof thing. Yeah. Remind me someone lol ;D Hope all of your summers are decent and fabulous :D farewell!!!!! <33

I have returned from Lewes, Delaware: the place where the only means of communication are by phone, walking, and cell phone. Mind you, having a low battery with crappy service is no fun. BUT it was worth it. I've never really had a ginormous family..no brothers or sisters to pick on or be picked on by, few cousins, few aunts, etc. Even though i wouldn't want to change my family for the world, it would be interesting to experience it. But my three cousins, who are brothers and sisters, are like the siblings i never had. They're so fun-loving and the fact that they're younger (2 out of the three) makes it even more fun ;P The third one has A.D.D. and something else that i cant think of. But she's cool anyway. . . she's a spaz-a-licious one. Its been my tradition to go there since..i was a baby. So my summer's not complete until i go to Lewes Delaware. =D its fun to get away from everything... So here i am back in new york and i remember now what it feels like to breathe dirty, recycled air instead of ocean air. .. its quite disgusting..but..its home. second home anyway.. But...i ...eh i dunno. feel..weird? like. i dunno. i can't explain it...oh well. 10 27 and still dysfunctional. great. im gonna go think for awhile and...pull myself together possibly. Farewell for now !! <333