hellohello!i love songs that you dont kno hat they mean (in a diffeent language) and yet we love it anyways lol....yay i miss yall loves yall i feel bad cuse i'v been outa the loop for a while. HEH i got a phone call from squid sking if i'd be at the steller dance and when i said no that i was oing to the service dance he elled that he hated me into the phone and hung up on me lol. i thought it was funny but only cause i didnt kno if he was serios or not lolol. u all have met stephen i pressume lol. i heard domos hella bitter lol. oh well i dont blame him lol. lalalalalalala......i got that sickness shit...and i got better but proceded to give it to nic......mew.......if anyone cares i'm still a virgin and have had like no sexual contact whatsoever...so no worries...just angry and lusty makeout sessions hehe...the dance was cool (sadie hawkins) it was pretty small tho about steller size and someone brought a gun and got suspended lol.... stupidz.....haha...i gtg love you all Carol

well....everyone says i have it but the good docters havent prooved it yet....it would explain all my quirks, my effed up learning pattern, my letter fliping and my skipping of october...so i'm pretty sure i have it...i'm going to go get tested tomorow....the people at school wouldnt even test me on account of i had good grades...so dads taking me to see some docter dude tomorow after school....if i have it than they can help me organize shit so i can do better in school and if i dont have it well i'm just naturally messed in the head....hehe but honestly who didnt kno that already? *sigh* i'm really tired and i dont kno why........i'm gnna go love you all chat more lata

hi again...its meeeeee....and i'm back...man finals were hell....god...i wuz so stressed out this week..... oh well now macky got me sick...thanks bro...love ya too....si i wont be able to go to the dance tomorow i'm so sorry...i really wanted to and everything...arg....sry...thanx for coming over to my house last weekend it wuz so nice to see you again...i gtg love yall

hello loves hey sie my moma says that were going to host the sleep over tomorrow if thats cool? yeah anyway mom says we should host so if u could sleep over at my house tomorow that would be cool i'm so sicked ooh and bring my noote book if ya could...that would totally rock my socks:)...yeah...i had something remotly important to say but i like totally forgot it...anyway i got these nice leather black hooker boots only their like totally combat boots so they dont hurt and just wearing them i felt really like i dunno...different i guess...but they made me feel hot and heavy and attractive all day they totally kicked ass...heehee..camille wound up reading my notebook and sse figured out that i liked her...oh well she and i agreed to stay freinds and not date or anything..camille actually kindof gets around like dates everyother person she meets but i'm second on her love list (only after her boytoy) but i'm fine with that cause on my list nic is first and everyone else is 2nd no exceptions...on my love list anyway...hehe yeah...kyle: who is browny? i still dont kno0 whom that is......oh well i hope to figure it out soon...i had the sweet transvestite song stuck in my head like all day ooh random quiz ANSWER TRUTHFULLY... 1. do you like anyone?: yah 2. do they know it?: yup ARE YOU... 1. simple or complicated? depends on you IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU... 1. Had sex:nope 2. Bought something: how does anyone go a month without buying something? 3. Gotten sick? no 4. Been hugged?: yep 5. Been kissed?: lots of times 7. Felt stupid: im sure i have 8. Talked to an ex: yah 9. Missed someone: yep 10. Got drunk: nope 11. Gotten high: hell no 12. Danced crazy: i dance like crazy 13. Gotten your hair cut?: nope 14. Watched cartoons: SPUNGEBOB 15. Lied: yah, i hate lying though RANDOM... 1. Nervous habits?: i turn red 2. Are you double jointed?: no 3. Can you roll your tongue?: yup..mad skillz 5. Can you cross your eyes?: yup, can shakem too 6. Do you make your bed daily? no 7. Do you think you are unique?: most people think so HAVE YOU EVER... 1. Said "I Love you" and meant it?: a couple times 2. Given money to a homeless person: a few times 1. Do you swear?: fuck yes 2. Do you ever spit?: ....'_' 3. You cook your own food? sometimes 4. You do your own chores?: only when forced too 5. Did you get laid today?: nope virgin 6. You like beef jerky?: nope gets stuck in the teeth 7. You like pepsi or coke?: Mountain Dew 9. You're happy with your hair? im dying it red son 10. You own a dog? yup 3 11. You spend your money wisely?: not really 13. You like to swim?: yup like a fish 14. When you get bored do you call a friend?: not usually 15. Are You patient?: depends DO YOU PREFER... 1. flowers or angels? : both 2. gray or black?: black 3. Color or black and white photos?: color 4. lust or love?: both 5. sunrise or sunset?: sunset 6. M&Ms or Skittles?: skittles 7. rock or rap?: both bitches 8. staying up late or waking up early?: staying up late 9. being hot or cold?: cold 10. Winter or Fall?: both fall is pretty and winter is cold 11. left or right: right 13. having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends: 2 best friends 14. sunshine or rain?: rain 15. vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? i'm lactose intolerant but other than that i'm both 16. boys or girls?: both...male pleasure girl sweetness 17. vodka or jack daniel's?: never gotten drunk befor (only once and it was an acsident) ...heehee i gtg loves byebye

kyle and sie: i'm sorry that i wrote all that and i have decided thanx to your persuasion to continue on with my good girl status and i wanted you to kno that i'm really sorry i even brought those things up....really i am.thatnk you for your thoughts and judgment i really appreciate it actually..and i havent done any of these things at all i dont think that i will anytime soon thank you...both of you...i'm sorry if your mad at me sie..i didnt mean to upset you at all and i hope that were still cool...love you lots..you too kyle...:) love you both and miss you lots....i hope you both had a good new year..and sie we still sool for a sleep over? i miss you tons.. ooh kyle:who the hel is browny?if i kno who it actually is that might help me a bit lol thanx again love you both bye

hello loves i'v been kinda lonely...i walked about 8 miles to nics house the other day desperate??? yeah i think so....anyway were hanging in the library and hes holding my hands cuz they were cold...he askes why my hands are cold when were in a warm spot...i say that i dunno and that i'm a freak...he gives me a hug and a kiss and says " yeah you are....but yoiur my freak" i dont kno why but him saying that...made me so hapy it mean both acceptace and love all at once... and i loved it he got me a superman hat, red slipers and hes going to get me longerei for christmas....hehe....yeah...no ones ever bought me underwear like that...he asked what kind and i said anything that turns him on...so thatll be interesting lmao...yeah...i'v changed....hes been influencing me...its strang he doesnt mean to but i'v almost snuck out...i'v talked about getting drunk and i'm thinking about losing my virginity to him...hes a virgin too actually lmao...yeah ooh and i'm also developing a taste for rap music...yeah i kno...lmao...k luves i gtg love yall byebye

i am too social, really if i had like no-social life i wouldnt be feeling like this. i feel like total crap i'm so tired of missing people, i'm totally calling nic tomorow and sneaking out. its amazing what the influence of a badboy can do.lmao. wow i'm phsyco. i'v gotta say sie i miss you the mostest. truly i do. we need to hang out soon. tweek.... u kno what i'm thinking. if u kill urself i'll kill you again cause ull get over it. really u will.god i miss u all.i wish someone would leave coments or somethin u kno? we all feel unloved when we dont get comments....but then again u all havent really heard from me for a few months right? why would you all want to remind yourselves that i'm gone in the first place?? yeah thats what i thought...omfg im talking to myself...ooh i have a story for you all...a new freind of mine...when he was 7 his mom went clinically insane...she litterally heard voices and shit...anyway she covered herself with gasoline and lit herself on fire...and then ran down the highway....she never even screamed.... my freind....he sometimes just get drunk and cries..... how depressing is that...i dunno....makes me feel sick actually... people think i'm a heavy stoner and druggie cause i hang with nic....i wonder if i should be worried....yeah i should be worried....hey tweek...when someone is talking to you and asking questions maybe you should like answere the questions so maybe they can remotely understand you...even tho i totally kno whats wrong with you....i kinda need proof that i'm right...... yeah...... too bad u cant be like able to talk to people....omg i sound like a total bitch....i think i get it now...the reason that i'm nice to people isnt cause i care about them its so people would like me.....its totally selfish...omg why didnt i realize this befor...noe that i truly understand myself maybe i can just let out all my bitchyness all at once like i'm doing right now ...................shit............i'm gonna go befor i break something....love you sie byebye ttfn hugs and kisses buy me therapy

hello loves, miss you all very very much, i have a boyfreind now i think that i mentioned that tho, his names nic and his hair is longger than mine and hes into rap. he has a older bro and i'v been getting rides home from school on thursdays. they pump this huge ass amp and it makes things vibrate, its bad-a its so awsome i think you all would really like nic tho. hes smart but hes kinda gangsta. i love him...ooh and camille likes me too...shhes a red head and shes funny i just love her...yeah i miss you all alot i wish someone would leave comments or somethin..yeah i gtg love you all

srry guys i'v been grounded from the interenet i'm sneaking this as we speak so i would like to say that i miss you all very much and i'm srry you still feel like that tweek.. well i gtg exciting news is i have a new boyfreind and um some other stuff ooh and i'm not in love with ella anymore i'm hot and heavy for my new freind camille i'll check up later bye

well me and my mom just got back from a dance show and it was awsome and it was all like modern dance...mor like a beautiful way of going against the system, the man the government but it was like beuatiful heehee...there was this one dance where the guys would dance w guys and the girls would do the same...& it was like entrancing i love to dance most people kno that but i think that i love watching it even more :) afterwards my mom and i were talking about the dancing and she was talking abouit how weird it was....and how like bi-sexual it was..but the thought that the dance was totally bi-sexual never occured to me....it looked so natural and so beautiful that i couldnt have thought anything about it...it was that moment that i realized i'm never going to tell my parents that i'm bi-sexual i now kno that they would be awkward with it and also it would limit my freedom as well....i love loving everyone and i love that i can love everyone.. feel the love.....love yall...

hello ladies... i wont be at the dance i'm sorry i wanted to go...miss you all a million times over again...well i'm not going caus i got a d in bio and a c in japanese...how i managed a c in jp i have no idea..sie i dont understand why u worry so much i'm glad you care...really i am but i dont want you getting worked up over it or anything its nothing really its not...i just miss everyone really bad and i really want to see you all again....its nothing really dont worry about it....um love you all i gtg bye ********** ykno what i'm quitting, i'm gnna stop cutting for sure i'm done starting now...there will be no more shit and i wont talk about it anymore, its all bullshit that hurt others more than me...i'm stoping and i swear no-matter how hard things get...i'm not going to touch another blade to my skin again i promise sarah please forgive me i;m srry, i'm tired of it, i'm sick of it, no-more i wouldnt trade anything in the world for your freindship its that preciouse to me, i dont want to hurt you anymore forgive me please i'm effin begging you...i'm srry

well its kinda a mix of both actually but i think that i run my mouth more than i actually cut...its the small parts like my knkuckles and other unnoticable places...but i think about it a lot so when i talk about it i sound more passionable about it...i dont mean to scare or anything but sometimes i lose my nerve and dont cut and thats not fair for me to talk unless i mean it all the time...love u sie feel better

i'm srry sie i wont talk about that shit anymore...every one has skeletons in there closet everyone does....it is sad when a happy person is thrown into depression and shit like that i'm srry i shouldnt talk about it cause half of the time its only talk when i'm mad and i dont mean it most of the time i'm srry if i scared you...pleez dont cut yourself i lurv ya and i dont wanna see you hurt..i'm srry i'm so srry....feel beter i'm srry you miss jordan i need to hang out wit you guys outside of school again sometimes its like steller therapy i miss u all so much...i gtg luvs yall

hello loves i'm thinking of recontinuing my self mutilation that way no one on the face of the earth except my fmily could fall in love with me so i dont break any one elses hearts except for mine... thats what happens to heart breakers anyway they wind up alone and lonely why shouldnt i just finish my cutting while i have the chance that way i wouldnt be able to hurt anyone else... its sad that i wish not to be loved anymore..when what most people yearn for with all their hearts is to be loved....what inside is making me want the opposite? why do i thirst for lonelyness with such a passion....my thoughts are becoming emo i think that i shall stop writing so that i dont mutilate my thoughts as well as my body lmao my god i'm lame...how anyone could love me it hurts just thinking about all the hearts ai'v broken about all the peoplei'v hurt... and all from the place that i love the most i'm srry that i'm a sensless bitch-gothic-whore who has nothing better to do with her time than croon about my drowned thoughts and feelings...i think i'll go now

god i miss every one again i just got home from the steller dance i was almost ready to cry i was so happy to see everyone..ugh...my neck hurts lol...it was fun i freaked with sid and ella and the purple hair only makes ella hotter by the way and that other dude...mayoko?i think his name was..hes hot too lol...i wore my lime green leather pants and i'v never been petted so much befor.it was kinda creepy for a while but i felt totally sexy..lol...i love it...when i took off the pants when i got home the insides were soaking with sweat i almost couldnt get the pants off lol...omg..i hade so much fun....god i cant wait till the next dance..i actually feel sorry for max..the rumor is that he likes me and the whole time i was avoiding dancing with him..i dunno why i'm being all weird about it tho..poor max..god aometimes i wish that some people couldnt see me...hrm..oh well i had soo much fun...when tim said that he was going to lose weight and get buff he meant it omg...yeah i' starting to get repetitive lol..i'd like to thank every one who hung out with me at the dance i had a blast....no-oness changed i feel so releived...*smile* k i gtg sleepsleep love yall byebye ***** next morning ***** *sigh* i feel really depressed now i dont kno why its funny how the deepest depression sts in after the happiest night...god....being back at steller makes me miss it even more.. i'll never feel the same at steller not after all that i have done...to all the peoples hearts i wrecked...i miss every one...a part of me wishes that i had never gone to steller that way i wouldnt know about everything i would be missing...then maybe i would stop hurting....*sigh*

ok my band is not awsome we fuggin rock. i totally forgive them being late on sunday we had aussie and al over and me. they were both guitarists and probably the best i kno. we did three songs and played smoke on the water. they were impressed with my performance when i went back to school they had told every one that i was a bitchin drumer and that i was like a drum goddess...thats what they told the bassist who hasnt heard me play yeet. so i'm happy with that they said i'm not aloud to leave the band on account of they have been missing a drummer for like a year so.....schools been ok..not really the best i dont like it all that much...and sarah about tweek and i....its difficult to explain...but were not seiing eachother anymore...my parents think hes a negative influence among other things so needless to say my parents dont like him very much...i dont think that i'm in love with him anymore i havent seen him in so long...i just want to stop hurting and move on *sigh*......we still havin that sleep over on sat night? i'm looking forward to it loke tons. my parents might let me go to the dance as well...i'm so siked i think that cody signed me up today if her dad shaperones than i can go....i really hope that i can go and if not i'll just see u all at the sleepover... its gnna be awsome i would go to the steller dance, wake up on friday and have another band jam session and then on sat i have a performance at halloween day and then iwould go to ur sleep over...what an awsome weekend.. yeah that sounds great....lol rosika sat on my lap to try and get me out of the chair and one of my freinds looked at her and said "you know she's bi right??" and rosika jumped off my lap so fast it was hillarious....yah..the hilight of my day...hehe...poor rosika...oh well... hrm i feel funny, my stumach doesnt hurt i just feel weird, and light headed as well...hrm oh well see u guys around P.S. sie i dont care who u invite to hang out u could invite sid if u want its ur party whatever u want just as long as my parents dont see whoever it is if it is male....lmao ooh by the way my band name is odyssey not relic..chao

helllooooo....my new band is coming over to my house at 4 its so exciting there are like 5 other peoplein the band and their all coming over to my house for a jam session...i'm not only the only female but i'm also the only freshman...and also were singed up to compete in the battle of the bands in 2 weeks..god i'm so nervouse i just met all these people like 3 days ago...whatever our band name is relic and its awsome all the guys are really cool...we have like 3 guitars a bassist and a few other slightly unninmportant people lol...but ya i'm so siked...ya....i miss every one..theres this guy that rides on my bus and i talk to him a lot his name is cody and hes veryvery reserved its soo strange i'm either used to being shuned and weirding out other people or having people be weird right back but he happens to do neither it's very strange...hmm..i'm determind to find out more about him because he seems like a very..i dunno almost like he doesnt have ayone to talk to and you all kno how maternal i can be..,..but i think hes getting a bit weirded out every time i talk to him...god i just wanna be freinds nothin more....its funny how people instantly draw a line where you can either like as a freind or likelike a person and i'v always causeually hoped back and forth cause i'm kinda a flirt like that lol (but not as bad as one of my new freineds my god shes such a player) but i remain loyal but he who i am loyalo to needs to effin update (ahem) lol ya so do that like now right after you read this....sies havin a sleep over next sat and i am soo ready to see the babes again....arg i miss people a lot...i watched batman begins yesterday it gave me nightmares sadly enough i dreamed that we used that air thingi and we brought people back from the dead and the dude we brought was insane and he started to kill people and things and it was crazy freaky...the guy that plays scare crow in the movie is sooooo hot... lol i guess i have a thing for evil people too but i mean hes hot...anyway i gtg chat later...toodles.. EDIT;;; well my band was all busy so we moved the jam session to tmrw at 12ish...arg...they new like 2 days early arg...

hello i just got done with math tutor it was the usual, frustrating, confusing and close tears. as always i'm so done with math thats my problem math isnt an art form if it was i would do fine but NO math has so many rules i just wanna burn my math book..lol thats what i should do at the end of the school year burn my math book...hehe ah that thought makes me happy well heres a little quiz thingi that i think i already did but i'll do it again just cuz Name:Carolyn hope franks Birthday:febuary 13, 1991 Birthplace:Anchorage, Alaska Current Location:Anchorage Eye Color:Blue/green/grey Hair Color:blondish brown Height:5'2 or 5'4 Right Handed or Left Handed:Ambi Your Heritage:Eukeranian, scottish The Shoes You Wore Today:flaming Converses Your Weakness:almost anything that i'm alergic to Your Fears:falling off a cliff and the death of a loved one Perfect Pizza:topping/cheese less Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:um. Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:"word" Thoughts First Waking Up:what time is it???' Your Best Physical Feature:um my eyes/ :PYour Bedtime:10-11ish .Your Most Missed Memory:anything at steller Pepsi or Coke:neither MacDonalds or Burger King:McDonalds Single or Group Dates: cant date yet .Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:Nestea Chocolate or Vanilla:depends on the day Cappuccino or Coffee:eeeww Do you Smoke:NopeDo you Swear:Hahaha. Yep. Do you Sing:Badly,um some people think that i sing good Do you Shower Daily:Generally, yes Have you Been in Love:Yes Do you want to go to College:Yes Do you want to get Married:Yes Do you belive in yourself:Most of the time. Do you get Motion Sickness:No .Do you think you are Attractive:lol only sometimes lick when i'm freak danceing he .Are you a Health Freak:Haha. Not exactly Do you get along with your Parents:freakishly well Do you like Thunderstorms:fun to dance in Do you play an Instrument:drums and piano In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: No In the past month have you Smoked:Nope. In the past month have you been on Drugs:Nope, In the past month have you gone on a Date:NO *cries* .In the past month have you gone to a Mall:Yes. In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:oreos are gross eeeww .In the past month have you eaten Sushi:No, In the past month have you been on Stage:No. In the past month have you been Dumped:no. In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:hrmhrm In the past month have you Stolen Anything:not really .Ever been Drunk:tipsy a bit but drunk no .Ever been called a Tease:no i'm not quite sluty enough i dont think .Ever been Beaten up:yeah .Ever Shoplifted:no .How do you want to Die:of something gradual so i would have time to say goodbeye .What do you want to be when you Grow Up:a pole dancer (jk)lol a prefesional dancer What country would you most like to Visit:Antarctica In a Boy/Girl.. Favourite Eye Color:blue or green .Favourite Hair Color:brunette all the way .Short or Long Hair:Girls long, guys... don't care :P Height:Tall :PWeight:Don't care! Best Clothing Style:Punk or goth..hot Number of Drugs I have taken:Non-medical? None .Number of CDs I own:Too many to count. Number of Piercings:about 4 want my eyebrow tho Number of Tattoos:None yet .Number of things in my Past I Regret:too many

i just got back from a 45 min run with my mom. it was lotsa fun we went to the rock and swing and the dogs like romped all over the place it was lotsa fun unfortunatly i cut up my leg on one of the too large tree branches and it was bleeding and such and it wasnt exactly warm out so the blood was all weird, sluggish and frozen it was odd..lol i told tweek onb msn that my leg was all blood y and i got the 0.o look lol...god i love him so much lol...hes ungroundwed now so i want to read a diary entry (AHEM) but yupyupyup..sie i can go to that sleep over thingi u were planing with all the steller babes i'm lookibng forward to it very much...anyway i told my mom about the dude in my last entry who called me the gothic-lesbian-whore and she had like a billion way cool come backs..i'll hafta break some in next time i see the guy..it will be awsome...my mom is uber cool i get along with her really well when shes in a good mood but i still feel like my dad and i are more in tune with one another...the run was good i didnt stop to walk at all and now every night i dont sleep with a shirt on (i wear my bra stupids or else that would be kinda weird when my mom woke me up in the mornings) and like i can totally tel that i'm losing weight...i can almost see my six pack..not really..but i'm getting there...i have mr.shmit as my gym teacher and i'v been working my but off in his class while other people like to slack i'm doing 2xs more than needed...i got a senior partner who is female and can outlift the majiority of the males in the class and she and i can out run them all...there so cross country running wasnt a complete waste either god i feel great i think that i might be getting a bit too serious about the athletic thing but hey i'm enjoying it..oh well i got full permission from my parents that i could totally slug the face off af any person that calls me that shit so i dont plan on forgeting that..hehe i love you guys later peeps bye

hellooooo...i cut my hair and i actually cut it myself like with a pair of scissors...parts of it look like crap but i like it...and i re did it red woooo....people are funny...they think that they caould understand a person with one glance and they think they kno everything....poor them...maybe thats why i dress and punk and goth and stuff....i kinda like giving off the wrong image it makes people get to kno you better...it shows who REALLY wants to get to kno you...then after the initial weird first conversation it gets better....some people are automatically freindly and understanding to every one like the people at steller are..at service if i wear all black for one day i got called a gothic-lesbian-whore by a complete stranger...one of my freinds were planning a birthday party and one of the guy who was invited took one look at me and said "i'm not going if she is.." and stalked off... a complete stranger the same one who called me a gothic-lesbian-whore now i can get over the first 2-3rds of that insult but i was ready to kill him over the last one...who the hell would say that to a complete stranger whom they had never even talked to and they judge me here by how i dress...a even more convincing reason to be someone i'm not... u people that are my freinds think that i'm odd and i kno you all think that with all the love possible...but here in a place full of people that arent steller like people...people who think they kno you in one glance...i cant imagine how they see me.....i dont even want to kno. *sigh* i feel home sick for steller.. god i hate service soo much....i love you guys i would almst do anything to go back and get an A in that stupid physics class...god damnit...judgment is a cruel thing..someday i'm gnna get the same tatto that te bad gu in charly's anels has on his back...i'll get it tattod somewhere really big (only god will judge me)....god that tatto is awsome..ooh btw i'v been disigning a tat for my dad its starting to look totally awsome.. i gtg love yall bye