Sooo last night i talked to j.b. and i feel really bad..someone asked me who julia liked and i said j.b. and one of my friends said that was caitlin's bf..so i told julia and she laid off..the thing is he didnt think they were going out..they have this on again/off again relationship..so i felt really bad because he was telling me how he felt about her and it made me feel like crap because i ruined it..then i talked to caitlin and then i kinda turned against j.b...and we cried in the hallway because caitlin loves him and they have been together for over 4 years and other things that we can relate to..we had a really bad night last night..people were mad, sad, crying, throwing up, screaming, running away, anything you can think of it happened last night...and it all comes back to me because i had to be the cool friend..i just think that my friends are better than that and that we can have so much fun sitting watching lifetime movies..why are we so hooked on lifetime when our lives are so dramatic..almost everyone had some big dramatic thing that got spilled last night. we had our own lifetime movie going on..it was crazy..why are some people such jerks and other guys are sweeties..phil has started his call you tomorrow thing again..and brant bought us doughnuts this morning and came over at 5 before he had to go to work..why can't phil be like that..i am not saying i want to change phil i just want to understand how his small little brain works...because he didnt get the best boyfriend award...he got the biggest heartbreaker award...we were all in such a good mood last night until one started crying..then we all spilled..and all i wanted to do was talk to someone but i had nobody to call..they wouldnt understand..i walked into a group of people who are soo close and i'm trying to figure out if i belong or not..i love my friends..but i just dont know them like they know each other..kelley and rachel are sooooo close..and so are caitlin and jenna..but i dont have a best friend in that group...they would probably shoot me if they read this because they have invited me to everything they do..true friends are what they are..