lately, its as if im all alone. lately, things dont happen. lately, i dont live. things just float together christmas, new years, birthdays i no longer do the things i used to find fun and amusing. i've become dull. but that;s just it. who have i become?

i believe in people. i believe that everyone has a right to live. to have freedoms and loves and be able to read and write. i dont think people should be shot. and i know that murder happens. but how can you EVER. EVER justify mass murders. and the funding of such atrocities. that's all this "war" is. i just dont get it. and the killing of "towelheads"? they're people too. everyone of them has a name. and a personality and thoughts and feelings. EVERY SINGLE ONE. now why is this okay? i just dont get how bush can sleep at night, knowing he's given the okay to mass murder and corruption. but then again, someone's always got to play the bad guy. and im sure in his mind, the worlds black and white. kids never chew with their mouths open. dogs never pee on the floors. and convicts are guilty until proven innocent. that's not the principles America was created under. how can we murder saddam hussein for doing the exact same thing george bush is. not cool.

i like zach. =) shhh. don't tell. joke me something awful like kisses on the necks of just friends.

i snuck out. i wanted him so bad.

i like...well, i likeD that we could talk. the way he makes me feel, the way he looks at me, the way he knows somethings wrong even before i do. the way he makes me laugh, the way he makes me cry, the way he apologizes for making me cry. the way he overanalyzes things, they way he thinks too much, he doesnt care what people think.. the way he drinks, but bitches about everyone elses drinking, the wya he laughs, the way he smiles, the way he brushes his teeth. the way he shaves because he knows i hate beards right when i get there. the way he's ticklish on his arms. the way he carries that stupid listerine crap in his pocket because he's afraid of bad breath. the way his phone rings the mario song the way that one time it took us three hours to leave his bed letalone his house. the way i feel like i could sit there and stare into his eyes forever and never blink. the way everyone tells me i'm wasting my time, but it never feels like it. the way the world stops whenever he's around. the way i feel like we defy gravity.

i've come to many conclusions in the part few days. the most recent being that i'm much more intrigued by a make character when he can pick up a book and read, willingly. not just because he has to but becaus he wants to...

i've come to many conclusions in the part few days. the most recent being that i'm much more intrigued by a make character when he can pick up a book and read, willingly. not just because he has to but becaus he wants to...

i want to smoke, smoke cigarettes, taste the cancer pouring into my body. i want to drink, and feel the cirrhosis slide down my esophogus and spread throughout my liver. i want to die.

Why Is It That Every Time I Want Something, Jon Seems To Shove His Way Into It. He Gets Into It Easily And I Have To Work For It. Like At Wynnsong, He Got In Because He Talked To Sides Lady And I Got In Off An Interview. And Now Look Here I Am At Panera sittin here pouting becad Zach doesn't care about me.

"What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?" -Unknown "Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself.” – Unknown “Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you. Live as though heaven is on earth.” - Unknown “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Life the life you’ve imagined.” – Thoreau “Live in the moment and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering!” – Fanny Crosby “Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” - unknown “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars…” - Unknown Walk in the rain, smell flowers. stop along the way, build sandcastles, go on field trips, find out how things work, tell stories, say the magic words, trust the universe. - Bruce Williamson “May the sun bring you new energy by day, may the moon softly restore you by night, may the rain wash away your worries, may the breeze blow new strength into your being. May you walk through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life.” – Apache Blessing “Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.” – Max Ehrmann "Be the change you wish to see in the world…" - Gandhi "Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Love as if this is all there is.” – Mary Anne Radmacher “Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should…” – Max Ehrmann

mmm. fuck, zachary. i like him. oh so mcuh,. i know i know i say that oh so much, but its true. but im super sad because hes going to college why must he be sooo much older than me. like. eight months but still. and we have like FIVE months together. and i feel like i wont see him for over half of that because he;ll be super busy.

I don't know what's happening anymore. I've found myself gradually getting better, yet gradually getting worse. The way I've seen it, i guess, as long as i keep my grades up, my bad habits are a reward. as of this month, i smoke, drink and have repressed sexual tension. how great is that?

"I know you won't get this until later, but i want you just to know that i've been thinking a lot, and you mean so much to me and i really want us to work and i'm going to do everything i can so we do work. And I'm fine with taking it slow. I like you too much. As long as i'm with you i'm happy. No matter where i am, i think about you. I can't help but get butterflies when i see you and i talk to you. You make my day." but i don't want to.

"You make it sound so easy to be alive But tell me, how am I supposed to seize this day When everything inside me has died?" You replied: "Trust me, girl I know your legs are pleading to leap But I offer you this easy choice- Instead of dying, living with me"if you want to know more about me, its under television. because my life is like a tv show.with extremely underpaid writers.which only makes sense to the faithful viewers. that you'd have to watch from the beginning to understand hey, deartextarea.comment {width:125px; height:23px;color:9399ac;font-size:9pt;font-family:arial;background-color:454851;border-color:9399ac; border-style:solid; border-width:1px;}input.pinstripesub {width:25px; height:23;color:454851;font-size:8.5pt;font-family:verdana;background-color:9399ac;border-color:454851; border-style:solid; border-width:1px;} editor's note::i prefer envy over jealousyits a feeling of discontentment over resentment]

yes, i know MOST of my friends. so what if i've had a crush on your boyfriend, add him to the list. i wear my heart on my sleeve, but try not to let it hurt. i miss that she knows everything about me, before ninth grade.i speak my mind, so mostly, you'll never know what i'm talking about. i wanna go skating with him, but i'm a little apprehensive about falling. i like to laugh a lot, about things that aren't necessarily funny. as for my apperance, i'm fat, alrite, get over it. i have. my manager makes me smile, in ways i'm not sure they should. i come from a big family, i'm supposed to be loud. i'm musically inclined, and i like it that way. sure, i'll be your friend. I like to spend time reading teenage romance novels while staring at the adorable book shelver at Centennial Library. My Tuesdays and Thursdays are spent with people whose Medulla Oblongodas are so much more retentive than mine, but they don't hold it against me, i don't think.I like that people can tell just when i need a meat and potato burrito. I like to upsell, so what if it makes people mad? Nicknames are my specialty, if you want one ask. i'm a master at teaching people to do donuts in cars. my coke bottle lensed, thick black rimmed glasses are perscription and my sideswipe bangs have inhibited my head since 1997, so stop calling me scene. Thermals and mucklucks are my favorite clothings, feel free to donate. i guess i'm a good shoulder to cry on, or so she says. don't break my heart, i don't know if i'll ever be able to forgive you. i play my little pony games on my sisters gameboy nano while at work. i'm irrational, but that doesn't stop me from being logical about wasting gas. i listen to little known music, most of it given to me by a girl.i like that i still wear bracelets from two years ago. Believe it or not, i do like to get dressed up. i'll admit it, when we broke up i had her drive me downtown, the bright lights just bring out the best in me. I STILL GOT YER K. "We all flirt with the tiniest notion Of self conclusion in one simplified motion You see the trick is that you're never supposed act on it No matter how unbearable this misery gets"-the spill canvas Britany Cae musicandmisery@hotmail.com a boy to call my own I want a guy who i can talk to about anything, who laughs at my jokes. a boy who puts my cold hands in his warm hoodie pockets. who lets me use his sweatshirt for a pillow. who buys me 25 cent rings, and sticky hands. who says i love you & means it. who will kiss me in the rain, in the sunshine, and in the snow. who calls unexpectedly. who will have many inside jokes with me and remember each one. a boy who notices girls haircuts. who realizes that girls say things but dont always mean them. who shows up at my games, slipping in the door. who i can go swimming with on hot days. who can tell me his problems and let me help. who will listen to me talk -- about the new nail polish i got. who will bring me seashells from the beach. who will let me beat him up when i get angry. who writes love letters to me, but doesnt send them. who draws pictures and slips them gently into my locker slot. who saves his genuine, big smiles for me. a boy with deeps eyes, that can see through faces into depths. who wears baseball hats and lets me wear his too. who gives me his t-shirt to change into and not expect to get it back. who knows me favorite color, song, car, vegetable, perfume and the color of my toothbrush. a boy who will shake my dads hand and look my mother in the eye. who will call me by my full name-- first, middle and last. a boy who will kiss me and tell me im pretty. a boy who will let me cry to him. who will squeeze my hips just right. who suprises me and compliments my manicure and plays with my hair. who knows when i have a math test or when i fail one. a boy who smells like he just stepped out of the shower. who wears cologne that i can subtly smell when im leaning on his shoulder. who tells me i have a nice laugh and a smile that light up the room and simply be mine to hold. He'll give me his favorite sweatshirt. He'll stay home with me and watch Disney movies. And the only person he would ever watch it with would be me. He'll call me at 3 AM and ask me what I'm doing. He'll tell me he couldn't fall asleep because he was thinking about me, and he needed to hear my voice. And he always whispers something sweet in my ear. He'll take me to a concert to see his favorite band. And he won't get embarrassed to tell me he loves me in front of his friends. When I cry he'll tell me I'm too beautiful to and he'll kiss every tear. He'll always make me feel better because he knows the perfect things to say to me. All of his friends will know we're in love because he'll talk about me to them. He'll stay up with me all night when I'm sick. When we're walking together he'll stop and and put it behind my ear. He'll love everything about me and tell me that I'm perfect. We always end up laughing about silly fights. We won't get mad for making fun of each other because we crack up at every bit of it. Even if we're a million years old, butterflies will still go crazy inside of me...every time he kisses me. He'll tell me he'd die without me. He'll prove to me that i can trust him..He'll surprise me by bringing me over my favorite food or flowers when I'm having a bad day. He would think I was beautiful if I dressed so crappy. When we go out for ice cream, he'll put some on my nose then I'll put some all over his face. And we just never stop laughing. He wouldn't be scared to cry in front of me-- and would hold me when I cry... He'll introduce me to his friends as the coolest girl he's ever met. He would grab my waist and kiss my neck. And we'd always take pictures in photo booths. He'll let me go places with his mom. We would play tag and not care whose watching. We'd kiss in the rain. And when I hear him speak, I'll fall in love all over again. I want a boy who can argue over stupid things with me, and then turn completely soft when I'm upset and apologize. I want someone who would lay with me outside under the stars. Someone who will squirt me with water guns in the house. When we kissed our hips would be pressed together. I want someone to be there no matter what ... always and forever. I'll be his everything...

xnoahdudex (8:05:14 PM): so you got on. LessThanSoCor (8:05:24 PM): uh oh. come back LessThanSoCor (8:05:28 PM): whoa. LessThanSoCor (8:05:29 PM): you are back xnoahdudex (8:05:43 PM): yeah. I am LessThanSoCor (8:05:59 PM): blah. sorry im indecisive xnoahdudex (8:06:14 PM): I know., but its ok. because so am I LessThanSoCor (8:06:27 PM): we make great captains :] xnoahdudex (8:06:51 PM): haha. most def. how are we ever going to handle the fund rasing? LessThanSoCor (8:06:54 PM): oh, jesus. LessThanSoCor (8:06:57 PM): i dont know. xnoahdudex (8:07:10 PM): yeah. its going suck.. LessThanSoCor (8:07:15 PM): uh ohhh. i might die xnoahdudex (8:07:31 PM): same here. LessThanSoCor (8:07:40 PM): dont die xnoahdudex (8:07:56 PM): I feel like I will..... LessThanSoCor (8:08:08 PM): me too xnoahdudex (8:08:25 PM): like. life just sucks at the moment. LessThanSoCor (8:08:32 PM): you're tellinng me xnoahdudex (8:08:44 PM): gahh. I hate being alone. LessThanSoCor (8:08:49 PM): me too LessThanSoCor (8:09:01 PM): thumbs down xnoahdudex (8:09:26 PM): for sure... why don't we ever talk about. well. us? LessThanSoCor (8:10:09 PM): whaddya mean us? xnoahdudex (8:10:31 PM): I don't know. forget about it. LessThanSoCor (8:10:33 PM): nahh LessThanSoCor (8:10:39 PM): :p xnoahdudex (8:10:59 PM): its just like. I wonder. LessThanSoCor (8:11:04 PM): me too xnoahdudex (8:11:31 PM): because if we were just to ignore what other people say. you never know.. LessThanSoCor (8:11:36 PM): yeah. LessThanSoCor (8:11:52 PM): i dunno. xnoahdudex (8:12:04 PM): yeah, same here. LessThanSoCor (8:12:07 PM): *shrugs* xnoahdudex (8:12:16 PM): same here. LessThanSoCor (8:12:19 PM): well one things fer sure LessThanSoCor (8:12:22 PM): we're sprung. xnoahdudex (8:12:31 PM): haha, most def. LessThanSoCor (8:12:36 PM): sorry. xnoahdudex (8:12:42 PM): what? LessThanSoCor (8:12:53 PM): for the randomness in the depth xnoahdudex (8:13:09 PM): yeah, kinda killed the mood there. lol. LessThanSoCor (8:13:13 PM): well, LessThanSoCor (8:13:20 PM): lets get back in the mood. xnoahdudex (8:13:27 PM): ok then. LessThanSoCor (8:13:28 PM): god, im immature. xnoahdudex (8:13:37 PM): some times. lol. LessThanSoCor (8:13:42 PM): most times. LessThanSoCor (8:13:44 PM): anyway xnoahdudex (8:14:02 PM): yeah. I don't know what I was going to say. but it was kidna deep. LessThanSoCor (8:14:09 PM): :[ im sorry. xnoahdudex (8:14:52 PM): its ok. its just I know for a fact that if anything was to happen. I would be mocked. a lot. not that it would bother me. but still. I wonder. LessThanSoCor (8:15:01 PM): yeah me too. LessThanSoCor (8:15:07 PM): i mean. i wonder. xnoahdudex (8:15:42 PM): yeah. its just. like. what could happen. LessThanSoCor (8:16:05 PM): its kinda.... xnoahdudex (8:16:37 PM): where are you going with that? LessThanSoCor (8:16:59 PM): uhhh. LessThanSoCor (8:17:02 PM): not sure xnoahdudex (8:17:11 PM): ok then. LessThanSoCor (8:17:15 PM): enthralling? xnoahdudex (8:17:32 PM): yeah. maybe. LessThanSoCor (8:17:48 PM): i dunno. xnoahdudex (8:18:07 PM): yeah. xnoahdudex (8:18:28 PM): is that it? or whats next? LessThanSoCor (8:18:35 PM): thats it xnoahdudex (8:18:47 PM): ok then. well. thats dandy. LessThanSoCor (8:19:14 PM): you know why i can't talk to you in person. xnoahdudex (8:19:29 PM): no, I dont know why. LessThanSoCor (8:19:33 PM): you make me nervoussss. LessThanSoCor (8:19:34 PM): aaklsdjlaksjdlaj LessThanSoCor (8:19:42 PM): and im afraid what i say will sounds stupidd/ LessThanSoCor (8:19:56 PM): like saying sounds. xnoahdudex (8:19:59 PM): don't be. why do I make you nervous? LessThanSoCor (8:20:04 PM): i dunno. xnoahdudex (8:20:19 PM): well. you should think that... LessThanSoCor (8:20:27 PM): should think what? xnoahdudex (8:20:44 PM): sorry. shouldn't think that LessThanSoCor (8:20:49 PM): oh LessThanSoCor (8:20:50 PM): k xnoahdudex (8:21:08 PM): because I'm just as nervous around you. LessThanSoCor (8:21:11 PM): really?LessThanSoCor (8:21:12 PM): why? xnoahdudex (8:21:31 PM): I don't know. its just like. LessThanSoCor (8:21:49 PM): likem asljdlaksjdlakjsdlkajsd? LessThanSoCor (8:21:50 PM): because. LessThanSoCor (8:21:55 PM): thats what mine is xnoahdudex (8:22:23 PM): I was so mean to you before. and now I feel so bad. and I don;t want to say anything that will offend you. and I don;t want to mess up again LessThanSoCor (8:23:03 PM): dont worry about it. LessThanSoCor (8:23:25 PM): because i was meaner to you xnoahdudex (8:23:31 PM): but I do... and its just stuff like that. LessThanSoCor (8:23:39 PM): yeah i know what you mean xnoahdudex (8:23:41 PM): noo. I don;t think so. LessThanSoCor (8:23:45 PM): i do. xnoahdudex (8:23:55 PM): why? LessThanSoCor (8:23:58 PM): i just. i was. xnoahdudex (8:24:14 PM): ok. well lets not go there. LessThanSoCor (8:24:22 PM): ok xnoahdudex (8:24:45 PM): but I just wish we were a bit more open on somethings. LessThanSoCor (8:26:12 PM): me too xnoahdudex (8:26:52 PM): but we are really not. and sometimes its hurts. LessThanSoCor (8:27:20 PM): im sorry xnoahdudex (8:27:37 PM): its ok. I'm sure I do the same LessThanSoCor (8:27:42 PM): no. xnoahdudex (8:27:57 PM): ohh. but still. LessThanSoCor (8:28:02 PM): i mena. LessThanSoCor (8:28:26 PM): i dont know xnoahdudex (8:28:40 PM): ohhh. well I'm still not sure what the deals is. LessThanSoCor (8:28:48 PM): me either xnoahdudex (8:29:13 PM): like, with what. LessThanSoCor (8:29:24 PM): everything xnoahdudex (8:29:49 PM): ohh. yeah, thats true. LessThanSoCor (8:30:24 PM): yeah. xnoahdudex (8:30:41 PM): gahh. LessThanSoCor (8:30:45 PM): im confusedddd. xnoahdudex (8:31:07 PM): about what? because so am I LessThanSoCor (8:31:35 PM): life. boys, you. school. everything. xnoahdudex (8:31:57 PM): yeah. same here. but instert girls instead of guys. LessThanSoCor (8:32:17 PM): hah. xnoahdudex (8:33:14 PM): yeah. well. I just don;t know what to do. I know what one side of me wants to do, and I know what the other side wants me to do. so basiclly I;m torn between the two. LessThanSoCor (8:33:30 PM): wow. i dont have that issue. LessThanSoCor (8:33:33 PM): i have mass chaos xnoahdudex (8:33:43 PM): lol. lucky. more options. LessThanSoCor (8:33:57 PM): true. xnoahdudex (8:34:17 PM): most of my options I messed up. or they didn't work out. LessThanSoCor (8:34:44 PM): yeah. ive got that xnoahdudex (8:35:43 PM): plus I don;t want to do the wrong thing. but I;m not sure what is right. they both seem like they are... gahh. see what I am saying LessThanSoCor (8:35:53 PM): yeah. xnoahdudex (8:36:04 PM): soo. thats my problem LessThanSoCor (8:36:11 PM): well. LessThanSoCor (8:36:37 PM): i dont even know what my problem is LessThanSoCor (8:36:43 PM): so youre one step ahead of me xnoahdudex (8:36:53 PM): ohhh. I guess. LessThanSoCor (8:37:01 PM): ya xnoahdudex (8:37:11 PM): hahh. LessThanSoCor (8:37:17 PM): kjalkjdlkajdlkjalkweujksafbgkuqilksahdj xnoahdudex (8:37:29 PM): for sure. LessThanSoCor (8:37:33 PM): yeah. xnoahdudex (8:37:48 PM): oh man. life is messed up. LessThanSoCor (8:37:53 PM): youre telling me xnoahdudex (8:38:14 PM): I still wish things were different. LessThanSoCor (8:38:23 PM): like what things? xnoahdudex (8:38:39 PM): nevermind. just life. LessThanSoCor (8:38:51 PM): you can't say nevermind! xnoahdudex (8:39:08 PM): lol. people always say that. LessThanSoCor (8:39:12 PM): its true LessThanSoCor (8:39:22 PM): now youve provoked thought noahdudex (8:39:32 PM): just life hasn't been to great. with girls. and stuff.... LessThanSoCor (8:39:46 PM): yeah i've got the same luck xnoahdudex (8:40:14 PM): word. keeping stiking out. like. I don;t know why. I think I;ve told you about this already. LessThanSoCor (8:40:32 PM): yeah kinda xnoahdudex (8:40:52 PM): sooo. thats why I said nevermind. LessThanSoCor (8:41:02 PM): psssh xnoahdudex (8:41:17 PM): blahhhhhLess ThanSoCor (8:41:21 PM): i knowwww. LessThanSoCor (8:41:22 PM): dammit. xnoahdudex (8:41:52 PM): lol. yeah. LessThanSoCor (8:42:37 PM): ugh. LessThanSoCor (8:42:38 PM): prom xnoahdudex (8:42:50 PM): ohh. are you planning on going? LessThanSoCor (8:43:11 PM): i dont know xnoahdudex (8:43:24 PM): yeah. same here.. LessThanSoCor (8:43:53 PM): why wouldnt you go? xnoahdudex (8:44:16 PM): because I won;t get a date. because no one would go with me. LessThanSoCor (8:44:28 PM): srsly. LessThanSoCor (8:44:31 PM): srsly. LessThanSoCor (8:44:36 PM): plz. xnoahdudex (8:44:47 PM): what now LessThanSoCor (8:44:55 PM): who wouldnt? xnoahdudex (8:45:08 PM): everyone. anyone LessThanSoCor (8:45:18 PM): then who am i? no one? xnoahdudex (8:45:47 PM): no, but I know you wouldn;t go with me. even if I asked. LessThanSoCor (8:45:55 PM): yeah i would. xnoahdudex (8:46:28 PM): ...yeah. LessThanSoCor (8:46:32 PM): ...yeah what? xnoahdudex (8:46:53 PM): I'm still lost.... in the world of my emotions. LessThanSoCor (8:47:13 PM): k, me too xnoahdudex (8:47:43 PM): I just want to know what to do... and I would hate to ruin stuff... LessThanSoCor (8:48:00 PM): yeah i know, xnoahdudex (8:48:23 PM): gahh. because that might happen... LessThanSoCor (8:48:56 PM): its been known to xnoahdudex (8:49:12 PM): and that would suck. I just want to do the right thing, gahh, I keep saying that. LessThanSoCor (8:49:24 PM): you think too much xnoahdudex (8:49:40 PM): yeah. thats what stephaine said. a lot. LessThanSoCor (8:49:48 PM): its true. xnoahdudex (8:50:10 PM): I know. and its sad. but I don;t know what to do. LessThanSoCor (8:50:16 PM): stop thinking? xnoahdudex (8:50:51 PM): well. then I would only mess up. but I do that right now. so I can't ever win LessThanSoCor (8:50:56 PM): haha. LessThanSoCor (8:51:12 PM): you'll win. xnoahdudex (8:51:24 PM): I doubt it... LessThanSoCor (8:51:35 PM): you will xnoahdudex (8:51:50 PM): when? LessThanSoCor (8:51:58 PM): eventually xnoahdudex (8:52:07 PM): I can only hope... LessThanSoCor (8:52:13 PM): trust me xnoahdudex (8:52:24 PM): but with what. and who. LessThanSoCor (8:52:35 PM): you cant ask that. xnoahdudex (8:52:53 PM): I know. sorrt xnoahdudex (8:52:57 PM): sorry LessThanSoCor (8:53:07 PM): its okay xnoahdudex (8:53:27 PM): I don't think so... LessThanSoCor (8:53:34 PM): you sure? xnoahdudex (8:53:46 PM): sure.... LessThanSoCor (8:53:50 PM): i dont know xnoahdudex (8:54:08 PM): yeah., thats on my mind too. LessThanSoCor (8:54:15 PM): not knowing? xnoahdudex (8:54:27 PM): yep. LessThanSoCor (8:54:33 PM): haha. k me too xnoahdudex (8:54:45 PM): haha. well. LessThanSoCor (8:54:51 PM): in that case xnoahdudex (8:55:13 PM): yepLess ThanSoCor (8:55:18 PM): bahLess ThanSoCor (8:55:20 PM): i wanna do something xnoahdudex (8:55:25 PM): me too LessThanSoCor (8:55:58 PM): together?xnoahdudex (8:56:10 PM): sure. LessThanSoCor (8:56:12 PM): k LessThanSoCor (8:56:15 PM): what? xnoahdudex (8:56:20 PM): no idea. LessThanSoCor (8:56:23 PM): haha LessThanSoCor (8:56:24 PM): me either xnoahdudex (8:56:51 PM): gahh. we can not make up our minds LessThanSoCor (8:57:03 PM): i knoww. xnoahdudex (8:57:42 PM): well then LessThanSoCor (8:57:44 PM): i wish it were summer xnoahdudex (8:57:54 PM): me too LessThanSoCor (8:58:09 PM): then i could go lay on the dock and just. think xnoahdudex (8:58:26 PM): yeah. about life. I like to do that too. LessThanSoCor (8:58:29 PM): :] xnoahdudex (8:58:50 PM): ohhh man. LessThanSoCor (8:58:56 PM): im a girl xnoahdudex (8:59:10 PM): yeah. I;m a boy. LessThanSoCor (8:59:15 PM): wow. LessThanSoCor (8:59:16 PM): sex ed. xnoahdudex (8:59:27 PM): more or less/ LessThanSoCor (8:59:44 PM): so. xnoahdudex (8:59:59 PM): yeah. what do you want to do? LessThanSoCor (9:00:13 PM): i dont know xnoahdudex (9:00:37 PM): yeah. I might vist Sara at target. but I;m not sure. if I will. LessThanSoCor (9:00:59 PM): do you do that often? xnoahdudex (9:01:21 PM): not really. but she was forced to work. and I said I might come by to cheer her up a bit. LessThanSoCor (9:01:29 PM): true. can i come? xnoahdudex (9:01:41 PM): sure. LessThanSoCor (9:01:56 PM): okaayyy xnoahdudex (9:02:10 PM): but I'am not sure yet. LessThanSoCor (9:02:10 PM): my dad wants on. LessThanSoCor (9:02:12 PM): but text me. LessThanSoCor (9:02:14 PM): k? xnoahdudex (9:02:42 PM): lol. right. I will let you know soon if I feel like going LessThanSoCor (9:02:43 PM): k xnoahdudex (9:02:51 PM): peace

today. i have strep. it is snowing. moms home. baileys home laneys home dads on his way. beans in montana.

"britany what ever i mean really were still friends the only reason im dating her again is because i love her we were best friends for about 2 years and then dated for 7 months i miss her and i love her im sorry " obviously. promises mean NOTHING to this kid. he makes me laugh. and he was right. i had a thing for sandberg all the time. and ya know what? we're not friends. i dont wanna be friends wiht him.

ERIC K.

a boy to call my own I want a guy who i can talk to about anything, who laughs at my jokes. a boy who puts my cold hands in his warm hoodie pockets. who lets me use his sweatshirt for a pillow. who buys me 25 cent rings, and sticky hands. who says i love you & means it. who will kiss me in the rain, in the sunshine, and in the snow. who calls unexpectedly. who will have many inside jokes with me and remember each one. a boy who notices girls haircuts. who realizes that girls say things but dont always mean them. who shows up at my games, slipping in the door. who i can go swimming with on hot days. who can tell me his problems and let me help. who will listen to me talk -- about the new nail polish i got. who will bring me seashells from the beach. who will let me beat him up when i get angry. who writes love letters to me, but doesnt send them. who draws pictures and slips them gently into my locker slot. who saves his genuine, big smiles for me. a boy with deeps eyes, that can see through faces into depths. who wears baseball hats and lets me wear his too. who gives me his t-shirt to change into and not expect to get it back. who knows me favorite color, song, car, vegetable, perfume and the color of my toothbrush. a boy who will shake my dads hand and look my mother in the eye. who will call me by my full name-- first, middle and last. a boy who will kiss me and tell me im pretty. a boy who will let me cry to him. who will squeeze my hips just right. who suprises me and compliments my manicure and plays with my hair. who knows when i have a math test or when i fail one. a boy who smells like he just stepped out of the shower. who wears cologne that i can subtly smell when im leaning on his shoulder. who tells me i have a nice laugh and a smile that light up the room and simply be mine to hold. He'll give me his favorite sweatshirt. He'll stay home with me and watch Disney movies. And the only person he would ever watch it with would be me. He'll call me at 3 AM and ask me what I'm doing. He'll tell me he couldn't fall asleep because he was thinking about me, and he needed to hear my voice. And he always whispers something sweet in my ear. He'll take me to a concert to see his favorite band. And he won't get embarrassed to tell me he loves me in front of his friends. When I cry he'll tell me I'm too beautiful to and he'll kiss every tear. He'll always make me feel better because he knows the perfect things to say to me. All of his friends will know we're in love because he'll talk about me to them. He'll stay up with me all night when I'm sick. When we're walking together he'll stop and and put it behind my ear. He'll love everything about me and tell me that I'm perfect. We always end up laughing about silly fights. We won't get mad for making fun of each other because we crack up at every bit of it. Even if we're a million years old, butterflies will still go crazy inside of me...every time he kisses me. He'll tell me he'd die without me. He'll prove to me that i can trust him..He'll surprise me by bringing me over my favorite food or flowers when I'm having a bad day. He would think I was beautiful if I dressed so crappy. When we go out for ice cream, he'll put some on my nose then I'll put some all over his face. And we just never stop laughing. He wouldn't be scared to cry in front of me-- and would hold me when I cry... He'll introduce me to his friends as the coolest girl he's ever met. He would grab my waist and kiss my neck. And we'd always take pictures in photo booths. He'll let me go places with his mom. We would play tag and not care whose watching. We'd kiss in the rain. And when I hear him speak, I'll fall in love all over again. I want a boy who can argue over stupid things with me, and then turn completely soft when I'm upset and apologize. I want someone who would lay with me outside under the stars. Someone who will squirt me with water guns in the house. When we kissed our hips would be pressed together. I want someone to be there no matter what ... always and forever. I'll be his everything...