I'm really really pissed off right now! why did the first quarter have to end on such a bad note?!!! WHY?! maybe if i only knew my grades, and not other peoples', it wouldn't hurt so bad . . . i know that i'm not supposed to be competitive and all that, but it really hurts to look at a crappy grade on your paper and then look around the class and have A+ staring u back in the face!!!! i'm not quite envious though . . . i am simply astonished that i can not seem to achieve what everyone else is . . . i think i may have found a weak link. i think that through my crappy experience with english this year i've discovered a lot more about myself as a writer and a person. i'm definitely a fictional writer, no doubt. i love suspenseful thrillers, science fiction, or fantasy . . . sometimes the typical realistic novel. however, i simply HATE famous literature! perhaps i am one of those "Americans in the new generation that have no attention span whatsoever" (Kaz) because i do not find it interesting to examine the theme of many stories he's given us this year . . . in fact, i haven't enjoyed any of them! hahaha! i was enjoying "Their Eyes Were Watching God" until the author killed off Tea Cake . . . hahaha, how convenient! But really . . . i've always enjoyed reading books and then going away from them for a while and then having images from the story make u start thinking about life in general . . . those thoughts are really interesting. however, when you analyze books too much, it seems to have no PLACE in the world! we're always discussing "identity in society" in that english class, but you aren't really allowed to put ANY opinions in those essays that are assigned. it's basically . . . if u memorize the class decision about the theme, and u stick to that theme then you will have an A or B, and if you try to change or ADD to the theme with varying ideas, you will fail or get MAYBE a C. OMG!!!!!! alright, i really need to calm down . . . *breath in, breath out* hahaha. Oh, that's another problem I have . . . i tend to laugh something away so it seems like it doesn't bother me, but really, it's tearing me up inside! i can't seem to stop! laughing is often my form of publically crying . . . yeah, you guys may not realize it, but it is . . . i wish i could just act like a normal person and just NOT laugh! yeah, anyway, i have a lot of problemos right now . . . i'm hoping to get my hw done early this weekend (fat chance!) so i can just chill for a day or so and try to think over my situation right now . . . oh, and i just wanted to apologize to anyone that i've seemed to shrug off. i mean, i know a lot of different people that have come to me saying how stressed they are . . . i just wanted to say that i really DIDN'T mean to ignore you or consider your problems insignificant to mine, i'm just really stressed, so i get really overwhelmed when i hear someone's problems at the same time. please don't take it personally! - Addie