What do you do? How do you react? When friends see you as a burden and the family you have forgets about you. And when they don't they just call to bitch about shit. One of my best friends I have known over more than 2 decades just sees me more of being in their way than a friend. I mean they say they would so this and that for you. And really it's only when it is convenient for them. And when it's not well..Well Oh well that's what. I'm not gonna say I got it the worst lord knows other people do. But man living this life I feel I experienced everything I possibly could. I have already felt loved in my life, if only for a year I really sincerely felt that. All these emotions people are supposed to feel while they are alive, been there done that. Honestly, What is left is just to die. I want that more than anything right now. Oh I'd jump off a bridge or blow out my brains by now. But as limiting and pathetic it might seem to some it's against my beliefs to do so. I just want to stay dead, not like last time when I came back. I swear if I would have stayed dead when I was a kid things would have been better. But fuck it shit didn't turn out that way plain and simple. I'd worry about the one person that would read this that's here on this site. But you know what fuck her too.