don't even bother to think that this here is about to make any sense what so ever. i mean c'mon it's me jessica danielle the girl that never made sense especially to herself. gah. idiot. pfft. the 4 o'clock dream about the neverending dream and all the stuff that goes on in it was like the non coolest thing to wake up too. walking down the pathway listening to whatever is playing, makes everything so movie-like. walking past annoymous people, the trees that seem to be slowly moving and there's that feeling of a moment, watching faces experience life that isn't at all real in any form except the emotions of others and peace that comes from being silent. its kinda wierd to think about what people are walking away from and walking into. you're never going to really know. not even about yourself. walking down that sidewalk thinking odd things like what will happen tomorrow or what things that need to be finished, what the person your passing alongs is an ass or a nice individual. blurb.... i could go for some pepto right now. this ugly stomach knot won't go away. i don't know if it's nerves or me being a dork. or whatever else is bothering me. last night i was thinking about my dad, and all i could think is how he missed his own children growing up and i wanted to brust into tears. it hurt and im still struggling with this issue. i wonder what kind of effect is this going to have or has already had on me. i wanted to go to the counsling center at school, but what would i say, how could i tell frank or my mom, maybe they would feel bad that i can't talk about it to someone i love. but my mom hates him and although frank loves me and understands so much of me this is something that i could never fully explain to him the feelings that i harbor tighly around my heart. gah. enough is enough. work is actually taking a turn for the better and it seems that im not leaving so soon afterall. im leaving the accessories dept and moving back to being a cashier. thank you ester. you're the best manager ever. oh and im getting my two weeks for virgina. i can't wait. =] something to smile about. hrrm i need a moment