these are visions and daydreams (not the kind that are like i wish i was on a tropical island with this person but where you just let your mind go and see where it takes you...i guess you could call it a trance...or you could call it paranoia.) from the past few days. my head has been going wild with them. none of them are something that i want, just something that ran through my mind. *we are in the backseat of a car parked in the parking lot at his homecoming. i decide to give him head, to try to make him happy. ive been so stressed out that i start silently crying as i do it, and he stops me and asks me what is wrong. i turn away from him and cry harder. he pulls me to him, i have clothes on but im so cold and i feel naked, im always so cold, and he holds me and asks me what is wrong and why am i shaking and why am i crying and why are my hands always so cold now. and i just shake my head and my bottom lip trembles and he just holds me. *he just decides to stop talking to me. and i never get ahold of him again. *we are at homecoming, i am dancing with him, having a good time. he's looking at me like he's taken with me, and suddenly a blonde girl walks up and looks at me like i'm disgusting, and asks him who i am. and he looks at me and says oh yeah becca...i forgot to tell you. i think we should break up. they dance the rest of the time. kelsey and courtney didnt go for some reason, so i was there by myself, and they didnt let me leave. and where would i go if i could leave? so i just stood and cried and watched them practically have sex on the dance floor. and everything reminds me of him.