~ * ~I Need You To Be There By My Side~ * ~ I had a pretty rough day today...i wantd to break down n cry all day but i held it back...or at least tried...until i got to the doctor...i couldn't hold it n e longer..right when i got in the car after 5th hour..i asked my mom a question n she was getting all defencive i asked if i could do sumthing with Kamario n Tina this week break n she got all "you shouldn't be hanging out with a 17 year old u should hang out with ppl ur own age and we're busy friday going to a fish fry" n i'm like well i am in a high school n Tina's my own age and i didnt ask for this friday the how about Saturday? n she got mad n said the weekend wasn't always about me...i couldn't take it n e more i really don't ask much...she doesn't get what i want to tell her...n half the things i want to tell her i'm scared to...i quit helping coach volleyball..it got in the way of things..i wasn't able to make n e of the practices or games n e way... my sister is home from the hospital n she's in A Lot of pain right now..i stopped to see Angie with my Mom today after my Dr.'s appointment my mom n dad r fighting over sumthin in the kitchen i think it's ice...my dad got bitchy about bringing it up out of the basement... i think i finally figured out why i feel empty...it's because i don't really have a "Daddy" image in my life...n i always wanted one..i always wanted to be "Daddy's lil girl" but...i don't really have a dad...he's just a guy that lives in my house n does the dishes...when i was lil i dreamed of being a Daddy's Girl...where he called me a His Lil Princess...but he's not...with all the things he's done in the past years...i just blocked him out of my life n i realized today that that's the thing missing n always wanted but i guess u can't always get what u want Leave Me Sum Loving