wow. it's 1:44 and it feels so late since Andrew left early tonight. i tried to go to sleep but i'm not tired. i've just been thinking about everyhtihng that has happened this past year. it seems like it was just yesterday i was having my heart ripped out and broken for everyone to see. i remember how insanely angry and depressed i was after that and how long i held it in and just delt with it. i remember how much i liked Todd and how much i htought he meant to me. and how i felt after him and brittany did that to me and how it was nothing to them. it seems like it was nothing now. i'm glad that didn't work out. i'm thinking about last summer especially. right after i started working at Pizza Villa i knew things were getting better. i remember Adam making me feel special the way Todd used to make me feel but that went to crap too. i never really thought he liked me but i fell for himanyway. it was like i was in a trap and waiting for anyone tosave me and he came along and just pulled meout and played around with me and let me go just to fall back into the trap. it's not like he cared really. it was all fun anf games. so i spent the whole summer all alone. untill the very end. i met Andrew. he has become the best thing to ever happen to me. at first i didn't expect anything because i learned not to and now i'm happier than Todd or Adam or anybody could ever make me. i love him so much and i do say that alot but everytimei say it, it'sjust me realizing it over and over and more and more. i know more than anything that i love him and i'm thankful to every 'boyfriend'i ever had and every rel;ationship that failed because without that i wouldn't be with Andrew and i wouldn't be the happy girl today. no more of those night sitting around wondering what could have been.now i'm wondering what's next. so thanks for breaking my heart Todd and thanks for messing with my emotions Adam. it hurt then but its worth it now. to Andrew i love youmore than life and i want to be with you forever. you really saved me in more ways than you'll ever know. i hope you're as happy with me. i love you always and forever.